Tag Archives: wrong

Once again

Sometimes things get awkward

Sometimes things get hard

Sometimes you can’t talk about them

Because talking can get you barred

There’s an awkward situation

And it’s getting quite bad

It’s getting very toxic here

I’m feeling very sad

Once they used to love me

Now they want me gone

They use to care about everything

I don’t know what’s gone wrong

But I know that something

Isn’t quite right

And I have to sit alone and wonder about my plight

This house is seeped in tension

Snappiness and snipes

There’s a lot of angry tension

Here every night

Is there any wonder, why I can’t write?

When things are getting worse than this

Like I know they might?

I try to keep away from them

And shut myself away

But its not healthy living likes this

Every single day

No one to break the tension

No one to hear me talk

I wish it was easier for me to walk

Trapped in a bubble of apprehension

No way to ease the tension

Not a single soul knows or cares

About any of my fears and scares

But I try to plod on

and try so hard

not to moan and be on guard

For things are not turning out nice

And the change in him cuts and slice

How can someone change so much?

Be best friends then out of touch?

He was the one who wanted me gone

Yet he has turned it on me because I walk on

Am I the one to blame for this?

Am I so hard on him?

When I was happy to remain

Till he dumped me on a whim…

I’m so confused at how he’s changed

And why we’ve come to this

I left one toxic pot for another

And once again I drown in piss

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curious mind of a growing author

Now, I am not in a frame of mind where I want to leave anyone right now – I am not depressed, I am not suicidal today, I am not hinting at any discomforts emotionally at all; yet despite this, today has been a day where poetically, I cannot help but write about relationships ending, leaving a former life etc. and this is just a fluke… or is it? Am I going through some kind of subconscious rebirth? Is this the start of a midlife crisis? I haven’t a clue, but currently I think I am very happy with the people who are in my life.
A lot of my poems are based on my past, particularly my childhood. But the ones I have written today are largely focusing on sexual relationships that are coming to a close, yet I am not in this situation – though I have been once. But the words in the poems would have been different surely? As I never left them, they didn’t leave me for the reasons I wrote about today, so where these poems came from is a mystery to me.
Another thing is I have written two poems today and both of those poems have a particular sentence in common “It’s not that I don’t love you”, now, I have had this said to me on many occasions before, when I was about to be dumped – the excuses that came after were varied.
Sometimes a writer can be in a frame of mind to write about something they have never experienced and usually I have been told that this is wrong – you should always write about what you know in order to sound authentic. So let me know if you think it sounds authentic enough for a person who has never experienced what I wrote about in the two poems I will post later in the week called “It’s not that I don’t love you” and “It’s not that I don’t love you 2”.
Thank you for reading

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Filed under About Me, About my work

I need my freedom

My essence is in pain

Being imprisoned drives it insane

This world has locked me in

It has accused me of sin

Yet I only came for sanctuary

I had no place to go

How can I ever tell it?

I don’t even know

I am locked in prison

But it’s for my own good

I am trapped here forever

Because I’m misunderstood

I hope I break free soon

I hope I’m not doomed

I hope I have a saviour

I feel so entombed

I need to spread my wings

And do ordinary things

Like being free and being me

And all my yearnings

I hope I can leave this world

I hope it’s heard my song

I want to leave

To stay I’ll grieve

I hope it sees it’s wrong

But for now all I can do is wait

I hope it’s not my fate

To stay not leave or I will grieve

Forever and a day

I need freedom

I need my family

I need my friends

And I will never leave them ever again

I want freedom

Please let me leave

And retrieve my life before I came here

You know I need them

I need to go

How do I show, that I am innocent?

And that you’ve got me all wrong?

I need my freedom

I need my freedom

I need my freedom

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Oh Summer

The summer brings freshness to the air around us

A warm breeze that gets into the bones warming our insides and feeding us with drops of the sun

The rustle of the trees around me sing a tune of ancient songs

I am in love with this place

My love for it is strong

Oh summer, to deny me of your presence, is wrong

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