Tag Archives: technology

Corrupted camera files?

Frustrated that the idea to share everyday my Inktober pictures is cancelled simply because of two things, my camera keeps corrupting the files as it downloads to the laptop and therefore I can’t share those pictures and secondly, some of the pictures are actually practises for characters I am working on, so wouldn’t share them.

I am frustrated about the ones I want to share being corrupted because I am not technologically minded enough to figure out how to solve the problem, but also because I really wanted to share with you my progress in making vintage style Christmas art.

I am useless currently but I am improving.

Happy reading!

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Not hiding, just not focused

I have the annoying habit of not connecting.  Unlike most modern people, I am not someone who carries a phone with me all of the time nor am I someone who remembers to check emails more than once a month either!

It is not a matter of choice though, it really isn’t!  It is the matter of both memory and lack of social contact.

I have forty friends on Facebook which only message me when they want something, or want to update me on events – all of these friends except for four individuals are actually relatives.  I only remember to check Facebook approximately once or twice a week, just to see if anyone has bothered with me or have something interesting to say on their thing (post thing).

My personal emails are checked at best, once a month, I have four email accounts for different reasons and I am often late in responding to opportunities that arise.  It really annoys Paul, in fact, sometimes makes him downright angry!  But he forgets to tell me to check my emails daily as much as I forget to remember myself!

I go through bouts of activity on DeviantArt and Twitter but again, those bouts are sparse! In fact I haven’t been on Deviant art in months and as for Twitter I haven’t been there since June… I think!

Therefore this post is an apology to the people who try to befriend me but feel often ignored… I don’t mean it; I am just used to people not wanting to talk to me, lol.

This is something I am trying to work on, “TRY” being the key word here!

I am not only just a tardy creative, I am just generally tardy as it is – though funnily enough for appointments, schedules and events I am never late, I am in fact, usually quite early… weird really.

I’ve said it before and I shall probably say it again, several times that I thrive with schedules and doting motivational communities.  Without these things I never do anything!

If you want to talk to me, do so, but do so with massive patience and help motivate me!  I invite you!  Just remind me to be present and expect me at a time and well… just nag and probe me and I will be around more.

Sorry, but it’s just me, I can’t help it and my illness doesn’t help much in allowing me to concentrate on just normal everyday stuff.  So, yes, I am literally begging for your help to get me focused!

Perhaps you are just like me too; perhaps we can make a pact to help each other?

Happy reading and don’t forget to leave a comment if you feel this way and perhaps we can work as a team to help each other?

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Updated my categories

I finally found out how to move things into different categories here on WordPress

My website should look a little different now and more tidy even if half the categories have disappeared, nothing except for about 11 posts have been deleted, I deleted those accidentally whilst learning how to change things around!

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Social media update again

Please remember that my Twitter and other social media accounts except for Pinterest are not on my phone, because my phone is not strong enough to cope with it yet.  I only access all social media except for Pinterest via a PC desktop device thing.

Also I’d like to share that I now know how to find out who has mentioned me on twitter for the first time in the history of me having it! Yay!

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Paul’s promise

At some point this year I have been promised by Paul that he will get me a new computer so I can work both upstairs and downstairs at ease.  Also this new computer will have a webcam and microphone so I can record videos to upload onto YouTube, I can’t wait!

I am struggling to decide what kind of YouTube video to have; because I have such varied interests and then I found out I can have more than one channel. 

I want to have a creative writing journey channel, which will have me reciting my own poetry and short stories.  I will also give writing advice on that channel.

The next channel will be regarding my love for self-sufficiency – I love gardening and making things from scratch, anything from homemade wool felt to jam and chutney making.

The third channel will be about my art and my art journey and art journals.

I can’t wait to get started, I should technically say that I will have 5 YouTube channels, because my son wants to have a gaming channel and I will be on some of those videos and his other channel will be based on his art or cooking journey too; because he can’t decide if he wants to be an artist or a chef just yet.

My son will also be seen on some of my videos too, because he often helps me with various projects.  It is pretty much a family thing.

It is not considered that I will get this new computer, mobile phone and YouTube channel for the spring as I initially thought – so it will be later on in the year, but definitely before Christmas 2021!  Paul has promised!

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Social media confusion

I am learning about so many new things lately in an effort to make myself more connected to the world and even myself, because as I mentioned in a previous post, I have never had the chance to define who I am.  I have learned that various websites I am apart of are actually forms of social media, I never thought that DeviantArt.com and Pinterest.com were classed as social media until today.  I never thought that people from Pinterest would be interested in what I pin, I thought it was personal and an invitation only, this is how naïve I am regarding the online world, despite having access to the internet for twenty years now.  When people have asked me in the past what social media do I have I simply state, just the main two, Facebook and Twitter, but no, I found out I seem to be a social media addict, but I don’t socialise on those things very much ironically.

Here is a list of things that are social media of which I have accounts on.

Facebook – Tina Cousins, but I don’t accept anyone on there unless I personally know them, so unless we get along well, I may refuse your friendship invite.

Twitter – @FantasyFed – I will add anyone, I am friend of the world, lol. I use it on a desktop computer currently… stop looking at me like that, we can’t all be fashionably techno

Instagram – FantasyFed – I don’t have any pics on there because I don’t have a working mobile phone currently and this might not change for a couple of months.  But I follow people I am interested in and know on there.

Patreon – Fantasy Fed – I haven’t put anything up there, I simply have the account to support online friends who are artists, writers, disabled, campaigners and magicians!

YouTube – Fantasy Fed – I don’t have any uploaded videos, I am addicted to the motivational archive, old wrestling videos, life hack videos & artsy music videos.

Deviant Art – FFGallery a lot of my art in there is amateur stuff and old, I rarely upload my stuff, so don’t judge my work on there it is all old stuff when I was starting out and some of it is pretty good, but not my best.  I don’t use it to sell anything just yet.

Etsy.com – misstcousins – again not selling anything on here yet and not for ages either.

HubPages.com – @MissTCousins – I haven’t posted anything on there in years, but will start again someday soon.

Chess.com – MissTCousins – if you want a game let me know, but I only tend to play this during school holidays with my son Henry.

WattPad.com – FantasyFed – not au fait with this site and unsure what it is really about, but trying to learn.

Tumblr.com – MossDragon – most sharing stuff from my favourite online games and pictures of my pets!

Goodreads.com – https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/8725823-tina I use this daily.

Mix.com – formerly Stumble Upon – but my username there is FantasyFed again

I didn’t realise until reading a book about social media this weekend that many of the above were indeed considered social media websites.  I have since researched all individually and what they all offer and I am surprised by how much I have missed out on – quite a few of them are very beneficial on a fun prospective, let alone a networking one.  So I will definitely be trying in the future to become more active in them.

I am not technologically savvy, it takes me ages to learn how to use something new like these websites.  Unfortunately many websites, such as Facebook and twitter update their systems regularly to the extent that by the time I have learned everything about them, they have changed yet again.  If I find a subject boring (like technology I do) I am an extremely slow learner.

I may be a daily user of facebook, twitter and Goodreads, but I don’t know everything that is available just yet and in particular I find twitter confusing as sometimes I feel that people are personally messaging me, only to find out that maybe it is a public announcement and vice versa!  I haven’t got my head around it yet and sometimes, it can take me days or weeks to find a direct message from someone.  Just letting people know about this, because when I have a bad day regarding my health, my concentration gets much worse and it makes it harder for me to understand where everything is!

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Confused with technology

WordPress has a new system for updating posts now.  I am not au fait with technology at the best of times, I have never learned to use social media to its fullest advantage and I am not a very social creature – so the idea of getting help with new systems is non-existent.  If I am quiet for a few weeks or even months, best to know now, the reason is because I am a Luddite and learning new technology and technological terms is not my strong point at all and I am easily muddled, not to mention a part of my mental illness means that I get extremely stressed out and even angry when I undergo massive changes without my personal permission.

If my posts seem muddled and messy from this point on, it is because I simply don’t know what I am doing anymore!

I also don’t like how it is not easy to add pictures anymore, I don’t know how to do that right now. I can’t find the buttons to help me make this font colourful or a bigger or smaller size. I can only find the bold and alignment buttons. It’s not simple anymore. I may not pay for my domain name anymore if this is happening here and I may lose the blog soon and all the work that is on it, because I do not do well with massive changes like this, especially with a subject I loathe (technology).

I don’t want every paragraph to be a fucking block!

I don’t want my font to be always white either!

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A potential new hobby for me

New hobby, if I can call it that.  I have limited knowledge on technology as a whole and don’t even know how to use a mobile phone to the extent that normal folk do – so why am I trying to learn LUA coding? 

I would like to make a ROBLOX game; to be honest; I have four planned but only one of them I believe will be successful IF I choose to have patience and determination to continue the learning process. 

I will admit that I hate technology and learning new devices and learning my way around big Microsoft and Apple updates make me a very angry and unreasonable as a person at the best of times – I dread getting new mobile phones and having digital cameras, because I don’t have any patience learning it at all and contemporary stuff are not very easy to learn for complete techno noobs.

I don’t know how much I will enjoy the learning process (I actually laughed when I wrote that because I know I will hate learning it), but it is something new that I am venturing in.  As a whole, I find the subject rather irritating to learn, I have no patience with technology and therefore, whether or not I will finish my goal of learning enough to do what I endeavour to do, I have no idea.  It is for me, currently, an unlikely accomplishment, but it would be nice if I could stick this one out. 

I think the biggest attraction to learning computer coding is the idea that the coding part is a language and I like learning new languages and that it is like a puzzle and I love doing puzzles – so perhaps, just because of that, I might actually push through it and surprise myself!

The game I would like to make is quest based, similar to Bee Swarm Simulator and Fairy Simulator; it also has traditional gold coin game collecting elements to it.  There will be lots of things to do the on game I have planned, so the game will not become eventually monotonous to its players like some games I have played on ROBLOX – I will not make quests that seem to take forever to do either, I finding collecting a billion of this and that in order to get a minute reward a horrible tease to gamers, there should be a consistent flow of excitement and length for the rewarding process.

I understand enough about technology enough to realise that this game in process in my mind could remain there as an idea for a couple of years before anybody gets to play it – making games is a lengthy process, particularly one as complex as the one I have planned.

If I manage to do this first idea, the next idea for a game will be based on one of my novel series that I have worked on for the longest of all of my working projects.  The series I know in my hearts of hearts I am too protective of to ever send to the publishers, a series which will not be placed onto ROBLOX when finished, but a new site for the game, where I can maintain its copyright in full.

That second game will be a role-playing game, again with quests and similar to second life.

However, my faith in my temperament with technology is small and therefore, this may just be a pie in the sky dream.

But it is nice to come out of my comfort zone from time to time.

 

 

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Not a poem, food food thought

The world is a confusing place.

Everyone wants acceptance and yet they all criticise others.

Everyone wants peace of mind and yet they will still hold grudges and set themselves up for failure or arguments.

Some people want a better life, yet instead of trying to find a way to make their lives better they would rather end it instead.

It is easier to hate than to love for many.

It is easier to ignore than to question.

Everybody wants a better world but no one is ready for the effort and strife to make it better.

A single person has a lot of power, yet they choose not to use it, because they have no time, energy, health, they have other commitments – so they sit and watch TV or play online games for three hours without fail every evening; instead of doing something constructive that will either improve their lives, the lives of their family members, a sad friend or their environment, it is strange, but true.  They would rather poison their bodies with junk food, alcohol and drugs, than spend that extra fifteen minutes in the kitchen to make something healthier for them, something that will prolong their life and give them better mobility or health.

A lot of people would rather not see that they are doing this because then that would mean that they have admitted to being a failure in some way; they can’t pass the buck, they can’t blame anyone but themselves if they realise and admit it.  People can’t stand being wrong or thinking that they are more ignorant than they know.

People would rather walk out in difficult situations rather than solve them, they would rather break up or divorce someone than work it out – because of the time and energy and self-satisfaction factor.  If you want a relationship you need to look first at how much you get along with the person in a non-romantic setting, are you good friends?  Then you have to question whether or not you both have the same life goals, morals and ethics, then after these things are established and known, you should have a relationship together and once in that relationship it should be easy to focus each other on remaining with each other, supporting each other as friends, working things out like a team – not abandoning ship.  If you feel you are a person who cannot be strictly monogamous for goodness sake be honest about it before you let someone get too deep with you – the world is more liberal than you think!

People have got to start becoming more open with the people who are involved in their lives.  They have to work together, work things out, they have to get out of the habit of this throw away culture – because people are treating other people like material possessions too much – this will eventually lead to us all losing our humanity, it is bad enough as it is with the millennial generations mobile device addiction, let alone allowing ourselves to continue how we’ve always been.

Humanity needs to concentrate very deeply on their psychology, on the way that they think, how they handle things.  No more should people just simply walk away when the going gets tough, because that will never solve anything and will only poison your spiritual environment more and more, attracting more negativity to you.

We are probably the loneliest generations ever known to human earth.  More and more we are cutting ourselves off from others.  It was said once that the average human was close to 120 people at all times with around 1000 known acquaintances – but recently that figure has dropped to a contemporary socialite having only 26 close contacts and around 300 acquaintances – online people you have never met do not count – if it did, I would be extremely gregarious!

Fifty years ago it would be normal if a friend knew you were sick and lived in the same street, to come and visit you and make sure you didn’t need any help and would make a fuss about helping you even if you didn’t want it – these days, they could care less.  So long as visit and visiting is exactly 50/50 split, like tennis, taking turns one after the other, they couldn’t be bothered to come and see how you are – even family life is becoming like this.  I have never liked the concept of a nuclear family, I always wanted to have a lot of children, but ill-health dictated that to me as well.  I do not like it, I would love nothing better than to have around five children and a little organic smallholding in a suburban place somewhere as I can’t do strict rural again.

I’m really very lucky at growing vegetables in particular, they seem to yield more than average for their type and are always bigger than expected, I have often been told I should attend vegetable shows, but I would feel silly doing that, sometimes people in those contests get a bit daft.  Now if I was to show anything, it would be dogs and guinea pigs, I would love to do that eventually.

The purpose of this post and like many more to come is to broaden your mind and help you see how you can try to have a better and happier life.  I am going to stop writing more to this now as I have noticed I am losing focus and it is 5am when I am writing this on 19th January 2020.  I will schedule this for later in the week, because I have a lot of things going on at the moment.  I am not yet over the pneumonia though I feel better today, but in the next few days I have several medical appointments to get to as well as an ESA medical and another minor operation (not sure they’d entertain that if they know I have a chest infection, it has been cancelled 6 times before because of serious sinus, throat and chest infections, it takes 6 months each time to get a new appointment).

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Social media following corps

This post is about what I call “The social media following corps” and how I feel about social media in general – it is not a rant, it is just an opinion and one that many people find both interesting and strange regarding my view of it all.

I have many social media accounts purely to try and network if I can, usually my time whether sick or not, dictates that I don’t really have time to squeeze in too much conversation with people who may not ever actually be involved in my offline life.  Many people, who follow me on the social networks I am on, are lucky to get a reply from me about once a month, but certainly over two thirds of my followers don’t even get that much attention from me.  It is confusing for me to understand how many people in the world of social media have full-time jobs, families, write as a side-line and still have time to spend twiddling away on mobile phones talking to thirty individuals a day and manage to remember and even get upset if someone has not replied to them for a set time frame and will go to the extent of deleting the said individual.  Where do people find the time to do all this and remember thousands of individual on their social media following page?  I can’t be like that – no more than I can do what my aunt and cousins constantly request of me, which is to take photographs and videos all the time on my mobile phone to prove to them that this certain day was as great as I said it was, that I did indeed go to the Severn Valley or Dudley Zoo, they want photographic proof all the time and I am just too busy living the moment to remember to pull out my phone every five minutes and I am made to feel alien because of it.  Is it really so weird to enjoy the moment without pushing buttons and capturing it all for the world to see?  Must I really take a photograph of that gluten and lactose free cheeseburger I found in Rugby that time?

I feel the world of social media can sometimes become too silly and compulsive.  By trying to capture the moment it often ruins the moment and makes the moment less personal – it’s that way for me anyway!

I like checking twitter and seeing who has made effort to try and communicate with me and I do try to reply to those I feel have something worth replying to.  Most of the time however I just say thanks for the heads up or thank you, or whatever it is usually just short and sweet and usually I hardly get anything back other than the same old same old.  I will always praise where I feel praise is truly due, I will not make a polite comment just to boost someone’s ego that is not me, I am very honest about my opinions of other people’s work.  I am not just nice for the sake of it, if I comment nicely to you, then you in my opinion are worthy of that comment and you should feel proud of yourself for doing great work.  My criticisms are there to help you along, improve you and I don’t usually bite that hard when I do so, I am tactful.  I am not like the guy who once told me that they believe that something I wrote was a one night bender after booze, that is just rotten and cruel and not very specific and constructive, it is just criticism for criticisms sake.

I have never understood the culture of follow Fridays.  I like and appreciate that people share my name with their followers, but I often wonder why?  I don’t do that myself and some people have unfollowed me for it as I rarely mention other people in my tweets unless I am specifically talking about them or to them.  I only follow people I find interesting and that goes for all social media and blogs, if I am following you, I genuinely like your work and I am interested in you as a person.  I am also quite an introvert with new people so it can take me awhile to try and make a conversation if I am the first one to start any kind of conversation.  I am a cautious person when conversing with new people because I have been raised in a very aggressive, uptight and insecure environment, where a relative of mine had their throat cut once just for looking at a person and allegedly smirking at them.  So you can understand my caution.

I am not anti-social, I just find it difficult to meet thousands of people’s expectations all of the time, every single day, when they are not actually involved in my personal offline life.  I always try to visit other bloggers who follow me here, but sometimes it is not always easy to get around some of their blogs and I am a bit of a luddite, if technology is difficult I don’t give it much time before I think “ugh, I can’t get my head around this, I have to go” because complicated technology makes me quick to anger.  Some people over complicate their blogs and that is where I think a lot of bloggers go wrong.  They hide things behind this tab and that tab and every time you go to their page their oldest introduction page is the first thing you see – whereas really it should be your latest post.  Because some people have so many tabs that their latest post could be hidden behind any twenty of those tabs, not the one you think it might be.  It is a crying shame as there is a lot of talent out there with people who just don’t know how to present their work appropriately.

Another thing which sort of upsets me regarding social media is the idea that because I am a writer, I must have had a book published somewhere, anywhere and that I must promote it to these other writers who are following me and if I never do that (and I never have) they question my authenticity as an author.  “Oh, but your profile says you are a writer and you follow me and you have retweeted my promotions I need to do the same for you”, yes but the problem is I am unpublished formally and I unlikely to have anything published within the next two to three years, realistically.  So they start to tell me how Amazon is a great medium for becoming published or other self-publishing places, I keep telling them I am not yet ready for this because there are some personal issues I need to clear up first but they never understand.

You see, I have been told that there are some medical conditions the doctor suspects I have, but our area has a two year waiting list to investigate anything let alone get to have a first appointment with a consultant – nobody is ready to hear that because they want my work and they want it now and these are just other writers, they are not even agents, publishers or anything like that.  It is both confusing and frustrating.

There are agents and publishers who know of me and like what little they know of me so far and they do try to send me prep talks from time to time, but really they know my situation too.  For the past several weeks I have been confined to my bed and house, my illness, whatever it is, is taking such a big toll on my body I can barely move these days.  So, I am fearful of many things because of this – as I spoke about yesterday, I am fearful of death.  I do fear that something has a tight grip on my body that maybe nobody will see the novels I have finished or half finished, the only thing the world will ever see is whatever I can manage to stick here on my blog. 

I am that sick that I am not even planning a future anymore.

Things should improve in about two or three years’ time, I don’t know why I have this idea that it will, because there is something at the back of my mind which keeps telling me that in 2023 everything will improve.  I don’t understand what it is, maybe it is the subconscious realisation that in three years’ time I will be forty and I have always heard people say and I have always believed it to be true as I have witnessed several women in my past, that life begins at forty.  So, maybe it is that, maybe it is something in the universe telling me it is just a health blip which will correct itself in three years’ time or maybe I am just being dumb.  But there is definitely something biting at me that my life will vastly improve by 2023.

 

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