The weird thing about me is that I have a lemon tree in the living room window called Cyril.
Why is he called Cyril? Because Paul named him it, when I was thinking about what to name him? I thought Citroen, but Paul thought Cyril was a good idea, so it stuck.
Yes, I am in the habit of naming my plants as though they are individuals, the same as I used to name any fish I can identify in an aquarium I had in the past.
There is no shame in naming animals, plants and things in general.
I was bored four years ago and found a nice ghost shaped rock; I painted the said rock blue and white, attached googly eyes on it and named it Rocco.
Rocco sits on a bookshelf in my bedroom, amongst perfume and little gnome ornaments.
When I walk into furniture or walls I apologise to it, sometimes if I am in a bad mood, I will slap it and say how inconvenient it was to move just then!
I am the sort of person that sits watching TV and talks to it like the people in the TV can hear me – no don’t do that you stupid person! Or, yes, I just read that in this book over there called “what not”, Paul has grown used to me talking to anything; it’s what we call our normality.
Paul laughs when he hears me accuse the furniture of moving to block me, but I am still not so sure that they don’t move occasionally… because sometimes, it’s like they see a danger I wasn’t aware of, because usually when things like this happen to me, there is someone else charging around the corner of a door or other things.
I still can’t help but remember what my grandma said about the fairy ancestry in Ireland she claims we have.
Paul was a complete atheist before meeting me, but he admits since knowing me and seeing the strange things that go on in this house since I moved in with him – he can’t deny there is something else. He has said, since I have moved in, this is definitely a fairy house!
Why did he say that? I asked him – he said well, since I moved in there is a new energy in the house, he sees shadows and coloured lights occasionally, hears strange mutters in the dark corners of the kitchen at night and food goes missing!
Although I am a fantasist, I am also quite analytical. So I said to him, how do you know that I haven’t sleep walked downstairs in the night and ate things? He said, because when you were in hospital for a week having Henry, it still happened and the mutterings got worse.
I said, did you forget to feed the house spirit? It was this time that Paul didn’t realise I left offerings every night for it, and so, he didn’t leave things for the house spirits whilst I was away.
Paul heard a crash downstairs one night, after I gave leftover beer as an offering in the kitchen, when we came downstairs we saw saucepans everywhere and Paul claimed he heard a woman mutter about “giving blooming alcohol to him, never leaves him alcohol”! Then we heard what sounded like a cat fight outside. So now we never leave alcohol, because the female house spirit doesn’t like her man to drink it!
My grandmother told me that the house spirit always follows the family, they don’t belong to the house – they belong with the family as they are family too!
Whether they’d follow me when I move out or stay with Henry, I am unsure, maybe they’d split the family, some will stay and some will come with me?
We’ve discovered there are seven fairy occupants living here, with lots of occasional overnight visitors.
As much as Paul used to be a sceptic, even he has claimed at the corner of his eye he has seen what they look like and he describes them exactly as I know them to look – because I am clairvoyant; or mad, whatever the case may be.
Dora Lilac-Switch is the head of the house and she does use a lilac cane as a switch to keep the others in line and Paul has complained he felt a sting across his calves when he spilled something in the kitchen and couldn’t be bothered to wipe up after him!
Paul has talked me into eventually writing a book about the brownie goings on in this house, but it might not be done for a while yet. I have about seven other projects to do first.
Ray our house rabbit used to get tired regularly to the extent he wouldn’t move the next day, Paul started to worry about him, but I drew up a diary about when it happens to see if maybe he was allergic to fruit and veg we gave him. It turned out the tiredness coincided with common fairy and pagan party dates, which made me consider – has the faeries took him to the party with them? Fairies do get along with their animal housemates according to legend. So, it seems they do.
Especially as his fur it usually roughed up and after he is over the exhaustion of it all, almost like a hangover and he goes into a bad mood for three days, like he missed the freedom!
My brother was also a sceptic when I lived in London, but claimed one night he saw a little man in his bedroom eating the leftover pizza on the floor – though my brother was drunk, he still saw it and that little man visits here from time to time, I think he follows my dad, so he doesn’t live here with me anymore; though dad has never said he has seen him, I knew his name to be O’Hara.
There is another little fairy called Lara who is childlike and she has the habit of knocking my drinks over if I have forgotten to water my houseplants for a while.
Dora helps me remember not to burn things on days I forget to put on timers, by chinking glasses in the kitchen loudly together.
Dora also helped me with the bad neighbour by talking to the magpies and they swooped down to attack him one day, but one nearly got knocked to the ground as he managed to swipe at it.
If it is mental illness and not reality all of this, then it is something I don’t want cured as it is excellent story material if nothing else.
But Paul and my brother were hard-core sceptics, scientists and physicists and they won’t let me think that it’s just my imagination – because how could they see my imaginings?
Being analytical myself and also a former student of psychology and social science, I said this; “it’s quite simple, it is a form of mass hysteria”. They won’t have it!
I never finished my degree in psychology and social science, I wished I had, it was fun.
The meaning behind this post? None specifically, just something I wanted to share and something a bit fun about me and my home.