Tag Archives: religion

Some people kill for suppositions

Some people know what it’s like to be so multicultural that they call you fake

Call you a wannabe, call you a snake

Some people know what it is like to live in different classes, but mostly being poor

Some people call you a fake and they close their doors to you

Some people know what it is like to be fat then thin, then fat again and thin again

Body changing constantly like the tides of the sea

Some people know what it is like to be me

Some people think I can’t possibly be, all these things, that make me, me

A half gypsy grandma with Greco Italian roots who is a quarter cast to boot

Married a half jew that was raised catholic, a cockney with a Welsh grandmother

Clutching rosaries and cursing the church, what a sight, how absurd?

But that was them my maternal side

I have nothing bad to hide

I love my family and they love me

But still society picks on me

Because I am fake, didn’t you know?

I can’t possibly be all the things I know

Even fake still my paternal side

My grandpa who watched the genocides

Whilst smoking pipes in his wheelchair, writing letters like he didn’t care

Calling himself a Christian and a lord some spit at him and some applaud

Is he German or Austrian? I never knew, but my grandma said he could be the two

But she knew he was Italian too, wearing black shirts and doing poo

She was ashamed of him, I am too

She was different, the opposite, with her Dutch roots and Irish eyes smiling, though her hair was dyed, worshipping Jesus and the saints like a good catholic woman

Swimming in the seas of war saving sailors, now that I applaud and dancing with the majorettes, a descendant of the oldest aristocratic family of Europe, the most loving person I could ever know

Teaching me how to speak and grow

Won’t tell me about grandad you know?

I can’t blame her really, can you?

Not if he wore blackshirts supporting poo

But you call me fake, don’t you?

So you don’t believe a word

Because all this mixture is too absurd

My grandma hid a fact from her husband and it was simply this

Her great grandpa was from Vietnam, I imagine he’d be really pissed!

Fascists think they are pure and true and yet they are very wrong

Everyone is related yet they say it’s wrong

I know what it’s like to not be believed

I get it everyday

This is why I don’t talk that much, because I have nothing else to say

I am who I am and I am a mix

But you call me liar, so I’m in a fix

Because I tell the truth, yet you say I lie

But I do not and it makes me cry

My mother skipped from faith to faith

Trying to find her feet

Kept doing this and that, making things hard for me

I decided long ago that the only faith that’s real

Is the old testament and nothing else

Because the new one was written to steal

Steal God’s people away from him

By other liars true

If you think about it, you will see that what I say is true

Most religions stem from the Jews

Isn’t it a funny thing?

How the Jews are the smallest culture

Yet the liar’s faith grows and sings?

Yes the prophets were all good men

But why pray to them so?

Pray to the source, which is God and all the bad things will go

I feel blessed in my life, since I started to pray to source

But you are angry to hear this, I understand of course

A culture that lasted centuries can get set within their ways

I cry for all the lost children

I cry and pray each day

That you will return to God and see what the deceiver has done

Playing cousin against cousin, watching the chaotic fun!

But that is something off my chest

I needed you to know

Because I love you no matter what

You are lost through all the woe

This poem was not meant to preach

But show you all my life

But things have a funny way to show

Who holds a candle and a knife?

I know what it’s like not to be loved

I know what it’s like to hurt

I know what it’s like to have a mother who pushes you away into the dirt

I know what it’s like to have a father who watches what she does

But sits afraid of losing her and sits with you in the mud

I know what its like to love and lose

I know what its like to be alone and bruised

I am tall but I am not strong

So many people have done me wrong

Yet I still love and care for them

Because I believe in Lord Hashem

He’d want me to look after them and show them another way

I know what it’s like not to be heard

But that’s Ok

I am sorry I got a bit carried away with this poem; this poem was the second task from the book “How to grow your own poem” by Kate Clanchy.

This was supposed to be my own version of “Some People” by Rita Ann Higgins.  https://www.lyrikline.org/sl/pesmi/some-people-5711  I must apologise in advance for the swearing that is quite strong in this poem.

But I really do know what it’s like to have such a mix heritage that almost everybody thinks I lie about it to impress them, but I really don’t.  It’s really hard not to talk about your family and their ways when your family has literally been your only life.

I really do feel for people who have got lost in lies.  But the thing is, I understand that the prophets etc that are included in religious rituals were good people too.  I understand that, but religion has deflected away from God so much because they prefer to pray through those prophets and then wonder why things aren’t as blessed as they should be. 

I honestly have known Christians who believe that Jesus is God, some of the more educated understand that he isn’t, but still they pray through him, not directly to God?  Can you imagine how God feels about that?  Especially as the supposed Messiah has not fulfilled their promise told in The Old Testament? 

Did you know when the true Messiah comes to Earth no one can doubt him, not even the tiniest bit?  That when he comes all will feel he is the genuine one and it will cause instant peace on Earth that lasts forever, then after people have seen the Messiah, God himself will come down from heaven and destroy heaven so that Earth becomes paradise?  The Torah says this.  It’s something to think about isn’t it?

It was Gods promise that he would do this.  Thing is, I am not jewish, my great grandmother was, but I was raised in three types of Christianity whenever my mother wanted the change – Anglican, Jehovah’s Witness and Catholic, I never knew what I was supposed to be growing up, that’s why I went and researched religion so much, to find out what the blazes the truth is!

I chose to be a non-participating Noahide until further notice, because I am confused. A Noahide is what Jews call a righteous gentile, a person who wasn’t raised in the Jewish faith properly and who believes in God and prays to him and sometimes they are converted fully into Judaism, some never are. I participate in private prayer to God, but I have not joined any communities yet.

Why? Because I find my relationship with God is a private one and I understand that this world is rife with hate and violence.

Studying every form of religion that stemmed from Judaism and then Judaism itself made things abundantly clear to me; it’s nonsense all these religious wars because everyone who stemmed from Judaism, should still be Jewish, not killing each other over what version of lies they love the best. 

Yes the deceiver is true and real, but I can’t help but think that billions of people can be wrong and duped. 

Even the Jews themselves have sort of lost their way a little, when the Sadducees and Pharisees started changing things, making the original seven laws of God into Ten and then all of a sudden six hundred and thirteen!  How did that happen?

Most Christians I know have no idea that Jesus was even a rabbi, they believe he was just a carpenter, but that is partly true, but also yes, he was a rabbi! 

Honestly I have been there and experienced all this myself and like you, I was astounded at what I found and I was deeply pained in the knowledge that all those who believe in the same God, still fight and kill each other, it’s utterly ludicrous!

A major part of my depression is knowing all of this and crying daily because I see cousin against cousin and for what?  For suppositions, that’s all!  Just mere suppositions!   

I became like my mother in my early adult years, skipping from faith to faith trying to find out why God ignores me and it wasn’t until I decided to connect with my spirit guides and ask them why he ignores me, that they told me one simple thing.

“Have you thought about talking directly to God without going through another entity, not even us, your guides”? 

To be perfectly honest – no I didn’t!

Because so often I was told that God is too busy to listen to all of us hence the angels and the prophets; but don’t you think that this disempowers him? 

Don’t you believe for one second that God has created all of this and he has the time to care for all of it, that he wouldn’t go beyond his own personal limits that he is limitless and will respond?

Because I believe he doesn’t take on more than he can chew personally.  I believe he has the time but the thing is, do you have the heart for it?  Do you have the inclination to respect his wishes from you and treat him with respect and talk to him respectfully like you would any monarch upon the earth?

Don’t talk to him like a beggar would, that’s disrespectful, humble yourself, but don’t beg.  Be mindful of his power, be mindful of his love and don’t try to abuse him in prayer.

You need to pray in a way where you ask him to teach you, ask him to show you things, so you can help yourself, because if there is one thing I have learned about God are that he despises laziness.  He made you in his image remember; would you dare to call God lazy?

He is there to help because he loves you, but he helps you only when you ask him to. 

He doesn’t give you things on a plate, you say “Oh I am so poor” give me some money please”.  No matter how polite you are, that is lazy prayer with no intention of helping yourself.

Instead say this; “Show me a way that I can raise my income without it being boring and affecting my health negatively”, he answers by dreams or synchronicities – signs.

If you are sick do not complain about it to him just ask him “Am I sick because here is something I haven’t learned yet?  Are you preventing something?  Are you trying to slow me down because you are worried that I may be reacting too fast I’d get into trouble?  Or are you trying to show me something else, please gives me signs why I am sick”.  He helps.

I have longstanding problems with my hearing and ear health, when I asked him to show me why this was, apparently in a dream I learned that it was because I was constantly telling people “I don’t want to hear about your problems, I don’t want to hear your criticisms” and I realised God was more or less granting me a wish.

Do you have leg problems or hip problems?  Have you ever flippantly said to other people you need to slow down?  Or you wished you could relax more?

Think about it.

I didn’t mean for this post to be preachy, but I am a water dog in Chinese astrology and I can’t help but flow to what I feel is right at the time… my apologies.

I better stop there.

Thanks for reading and much love to all of you!

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Filed under Defining myself, poetry

Truth divine

I have always believed in God

Just not the one you do

Never held any respect for the testament new

It felt always wrong

I believe I am right

But I won’t argue and I won’t fight

That’s the deceiver’s way

Not mine

I believe in truth divine

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He whispers into my ear

God he whispers into my ear

That change is coming and it is near

Though it will be painful and there will be sorrow to endure

It’s the only way to bid the Devil adieu!

The ravens will aid you

Heed their call

Beware the eagles and their venomous squalls

Stand proud and march on to the city at yon

Sing loud and gracefully Lord Hashem’s song

For the time is coming when paradise will fall

Down onto Earth, with angels and all

For the kingdom is coming

To save you all

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The Devil doesn’t rule Earth anymore

The children lost in the desert are fed by ravens black

Protected under their feathers, from the eagles attack

God has bought them here

Safe with Mother Raven dear

She cares for the children, her instructions are clear!

Take them to the city that I have made for them

Do this Mother Raven for your Lord Hashem!

I have built a city for the 12 tribes

Bring the children here, ignore the eagles gibe!

Their mouths are full of Devil’s blood for they have eaten of his flesh!

Bring the children to the city so we can start afresh!

Be not afraid of eagle or boar

The Devil doesn’t rule Earth anymore!

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Steampunk 2

Steampunk 2

This project started at around 2014 and I have been procrastinating a lot with continuing this, I have bursts of wanting to add things to it about once every four or five months, but those only last a couple of days.

I feel it’s a complicated project because I believe the believability of this fantasy steampunk may not be believable enough to its readers as I think this idea is very out-there…

I think it is only a matter of confidence really.

This idea is a family collaboration, including ideas from both Henry my son, and Paul my partner. Mostly the idea came from Christmas morning in 2014 I had such a bad chest infection we had to celebrate Christmas in bed. This meant, Henry enjoyed carrying up his presents to me on the bed to open them so I didn’t miss anything! In Henry’s eyes, it was the best Christmas ever, because it was so different! But then he says that every year! He had this idea my body under the duvet was a mountain for his cars to drive over and this started our game, which built this story!

That was a bad year for my chest, I was admitted to A&E (ER) the next day as it went into pneumonia, at this point I had had the infection since Halloween!

Below is what you may find in this standalone novel!

Giants

Inventors

Religious figures

Philosophy

A coming of age hero

A close grandfather and grandson relationship

Steampunk themes

Environmentalism

Existential crisis

Corny humour

Gross humour

Family friendly

Poetical interjections

Climate change

Trolls

Bio mutualism

Debunking sciences

Debunking mythology

This story has been influenced by many things, primarily throughout my childhood rather than adulthood!  This story wasn’t decided upon entirely until 2014, but I had little thoughts here and there since I was about eight years of age!  So maybe the origin of this idea is much older than I originally said?

Here are my influences below for this particular story;

The never-ending story movies (never read the book)

The princess bride (the movie)

Are all the giants dead?  By Mary Norton

The BFG by Roald Dahl

The Matrix movies

Land of the giants (TV series)

The borrower’s books, TV series and movies

Gulliver’s travel and the movies

Innerspace movie starring Martin Short and Dennis Quaid

Noah’s ark from the bible

The shrinking scene in Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory movie starring Gene Wilder

I am pretty slow with this novel, because I don’t really have much of middle, unlike most of my other stories I do actually have a beginning and an end, but the middle is rather bland and needs a lot of work right now to make it more fleshed out and exciting!

I don’t suppose this work will actually be done within the next five years, but it is one of my top ten favourites to think about.

I haven’t completed draft one in all of this time!

The novel is hollow at the centre, because it has a beginning and it has a definite finale, but I just haven’t got much in the middle yet.

Thanks for reading!

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Filed under Current Projects

Gods ravens

You killed a lookalike

There are 32 more

How many failures to win this war?

Ravens aren’t happy

The eagles should hide

Why kill a raven

Is it for your pride?

The devil looks on and smiles in glee

Because you will never let those ravens go and fly free!

God watches too and he knows what to do

He will send the angels to come and get you!

Eagles are white

Eagles are bad

Eagles make the true god, very, very mad!

Eagles kill his ravens

His ravens aren’t bad

The ravens rescue nature, that is so, so sad!

But eagles they glow white

And the eagles, they fight

They don’t care about the earth’s horrid plight!

Eagles are cruel

Eagles are unkind

They are the ones who will ruin mankind!

God watches close

God knows it all

God is coming soon to rule us all!

The eagles should know that their time is running out

They are the devils most devout

But they think we’re wrong

And they don’t know

That Gods truest people don’t have a white glow!

God’s truest people their glow is so bright

So bright that is blinds you like the darkest night

They know that light burns like a flame

They know its evil, drives people insane!

We know that the eagles are moths to a flame

Because they believe the ultimate shame

So little ravens, who know much better

Don’t seek the eagles, heed this letter

The eagles are bad and we are not

God is coming to stir the pot

Soon all will be seen by bird and man

For God have had enough of the deceiver clans!

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A message to WE that do evil

There are creatures in this world that never let sleeping dogs lie

They won’t let this chameleon change their colours

Why?

Because they won’t change

So they see – that I will always and forever be me

They don’t care if I have learned a lesson

Because to them I need impression

I need to be like them you see

Because they really need me to be

They don’t care if I am better

They don’t care if I am in fetters

They don’t care if my way is pure

They send my way more to endure

Life is hard as it is

Caring for home and raising kids

But to them – you see grudges are deep

They’ve allowed their evil ego to seep

It is rotting away into their soul’s core, what for?

So they can boost their ego more?

So that they can avoid Hell’s door?

But it just puts you closer even more

You don’t see it because you’re blind

Blind to the words you’ve spoke unkind

Blind to the evil you have caused

Please reflect, sit and pause

It’s been more than a decade you declared this war and fed the demons you abhor

You are mangled and twisted deep

Because of the vows you chose to keep

The vows of evil, not of love

The opposite of what you’ve talked of

You are not the cure you are the cause

You are the one who screams the clause

You should know what it is you do

But your mind is muddled, you have no clue

It is scary to think that you don’t know

That when you die, it’s a dark place you’ll go

I was your lesson

I was your test

You failed with me and the rest

You can’t keep doing what you do

Because it will get the better of you

You think you’re safe, wrapped in gods arms

But he saw what you do, all the pain and harm

Though you’ve misinterpreted him as well

You’ve created it yourself, your Hell

Hell doesn’t exist you know, it’s true…

But you won’t believe it, none of you…

Now I am not an atheist, but you won’t agree

This is why your war will never set you free

You believe things I haven’t done

This is why you all are dumb

You’ve made assumptions about my life, because of words I’ve said

Then bought me strife

You thought yourself clever to read between the lines

But in the end the words you read, were not mine

You translated wrong all those things

And like a swarm of hornets you sting and sting

Don’t think you are cleverer than you are

Don’t try to stand up and be a star

For you are wrong and you have cursed me

This is why you won’t be free

You are an evil thing you know

But I am willing to let it go

But I know you wont

You never will

You keep on in this world, doing ill

Until… ?

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Background to previous post

Background to my former post

In 2004 I experienced a really bad break up with my ex-boyfriend, I had no support whatsoever offline with my family about it and I had a breakdown.  I was even mocked for having such strong feelings for him to the extent that I allowed the break to upset me so much.

Every time I mentioned my boyfriend in memory to my family, they were on the attack about “oh you’re going on about him again” but they didn’t appreciate that I lived with him for several months and that he was a huge part of my life.

Alone and broken I turned to talking to people online in online forums, something before this time, I vowed I would never get into.  But when you lack emotional support from people who are supposed to care about you, you do anything to try and get some attention and some clarity about your life and anyone who were positive about things, were someone you wanted to cling to.

I know I did at the time and I was in such a vulnerable emotional state I found some people that were better left undiscovered.

I found a guy who suggested various spiritual forums and I found a website that focused on the indigo children movement, at first it was a freedom of speech haven, a place where everyone was running on positive energies and were really kind and nice to each other.  Everyone was dedicated to world peace and creating freedom for everyone, freedom of expression, freedom of individuality and a whole world unity – a new world order kind of.

There were lots of people who believed that they were the new promised generation, who in the age of information and knowledge would expand the world with freedom of choice and break down boundaries and teach people unification, brotherhood, developing the whole of humanity into a kind of swarm mind-set as a way of forming world peace.

It was great for two whole years and I felt I found my place in the world, until autumn of 2008 where a cult discovered the site and started to pollute the website with their brainwashing and very negative ideologies.  They attacked all positivity and all freedom of speech if it went against their own principles.

I was one of a handful of people that they attacked the most because I stood up to them the most and refused to be converted into their dangerous society.

At the time I thought this was an isolated group that needed dealing with purely on this forum as it is probably just a small group of friends or even related to each other that are out to radicalise vulnerable people in the forum or to make us give up on our mission for world peace.

I was wrong, seriously wrong!  This group was big and it was growing rapidly and it is still growing to this day!

This group goes by many different names and has many different sub groups and they stalk, they stalk a lot!

I left the forum in February 2009 because I was drained of their negativity and I was tired fighting in their pathetic make-believe war that they had raged on me.

I know they believe me to be an evil creature because of the values I hold dear, these are the values that I hold dear and fought fiercely to uphold and still do fight fiercely to uphold to this day because I believe them to be good and wholesome things that will eventually bring about world peace when the world is ready to tolerate and integrate;

Gender identity is a personal choice

Homosexuality is fine because it is a form of love and all love is sacred and should be nothing to be ashamed of!

Polygamy is only acceptable if it is done openly and without secrecy and that all parties involved know and love each other enough to communicate openly with what they do and do not agree with and that all parties are unharmed emotionally and physically and all are in agreement to new relationships!

If you feel the need to attack someone for their beliefs, you obviously subconsciously doubt your own, because people, who are confident in their beliefs and their convictions, could never feel the need to attack and harm another for theirs!  Negativity comes from a place of insecurity!

There should be no borders as humans are creatures of the world and no one should own the world and put a price on what is our natural right – food, water, shelter, clothing, happiness, health, light and warmth!

If you are coming from a state of depression, the best cure is to find someone who needs your help, keep yourself busy and give yourself a purpose, think and act selflessly, that is the key to happiness – do not wallow!

Reminding the Christian radicals that Jesus was a Jew and he was also a rabbi as well as a carpenter and that he did not in fact, invent Christianity, Christianity was invented 300yrs after his death!  He was very devout as a Jew and would literally turn in his grave if he had known how much he had divided his Jewish brethren more by his actions!

You cannot teach anyone anything but fear when you use violence, you also teach them to be violent when you use violence – respect is not earned through violent displays, that is only fear – fear and respect are completely different things, learn the difference!

You earn respect by your deeds, if you are kind, calm and if you are giving and if you are unconditional, then you deserve respect, as long as you too, can respect others in turn, wholly and unconditionally.

Learn to love unconditionally, this mean accepting people for their beliefs, their lifestyles and not making their lives your business!  Interfering and non-acceptance causes negativity and negativity interrupts the peace we are trying to achieve in our lives… learn to tolerate and realise that everyone is on a journey of learning about who they are and who they are becoming and that it can take 50yrs for a person to decide who they are going to be, so have patience and be loving!

Balance is essential, you need both dark and light, warm and cold and so on, or life cannot possibly exist – to fight against one half of the balance will throw the world and universe into chaos and life would no longer be viable!

Good and evil is subjective – some would say that killing an animal for food is evil; others say that it is essential for their survival – others would kill rats to keep the population reasonable so that other creatures food sources are kept safe, others would suggest it is evil to kill those rats and to let nature take its course.  Some would say that plants too have thoughts and feelings and so that vegans are no better than meat others, other people would pooh pooh the idea that plants have thoughts and feelings.  It is all subjective, this is why people need to work together about what things they are willing to compromise to come to a collective agreement about what is good or evil – this can only come from a place of tolerance, what is the average person willing to tolerate?  This is why I love social science, it is a means of finding the common ground, but society changes with every generation, because we are all still growing and getting to know ourselves individually as well as a species. 

This is why I love the internet and having freedom of speech, my thoughts, my opinions matter, every ones does, but you have to be tolerant of others and non-judgemental.  This means buttoning your lips when you hear something you don’t agree with, if you feel that you may respond from a place of aggression, rather than just simple thoughtful dialogue.  If the conversation is sounding heated or voices are raised or emotions are running high, it is time to stop the conversation, agree to disagree and return to calmness to gather your thoughts, so that you do not end up fighting and getting emotionally hurt or hurting others in the process, or else we’re never going to move on!

This is why in real life, when things are said that I do not like, I initially speak out about my feelings, concentrating on myself and how I feel about it, without personally attacking the other person – if the other people seems affronted or raises their voice I just smile and nod and say, well, that’s just me and I move away from the conversation.  Unfortunately quite a few people allow themselves to continue and won’t let a conversation go and this is wrong because you have then decided to start a conflict with a person who did not intend to start a conflict initially – if you are that person, then you are the one who is wrong, because you should have respected the other persons place to want to end the conversation, quite literally, for peace sake!

All of these things, branded me as an evil creature by these radicals.  Most of these things they attacked and spat out that it came from evil sources and not to be trusted and not to be acted upon.

People tend to not read a person’s words, or hear a person speak, they always think that they are smarter because they can read between the lines and that it is more than just those simple words you have spread.  It isn’t always like that.

I will tell you now that those people I have problems with, still stalk me after 12yrs of me choosing to become silent.  They go on every social media, every website where they see who I am and where I am and make their presence known, because in their minds, their sick minds, they have not finished with me yet.

They are connected to some very well-known cults in the world, one of which was big news in Colorado last year for the death of their female leader who died in a horrific circumstance.  These are the people that I have to contend with, these are the people who haven’t learned to let go, these are the people that still, to this day are bothering me!

Because they think that I am the evil creature, the evil in this world that needs to be eradicated, they celebrate all of my failures, they cheer at all of my problems and they are determined, until the day that I die, that they will not stop!

I used to think, back in 2008 that they were a small problem, I have learned more recently that they have so many sub groups around the world and have spread their wings, that we are looking at tens of thousands of members, who live their life trying to undo everything that world peace commands.

It’s a very real problem and I was silent about it until now, because it is embarrassing and I do not want to be put into the same calibre as David Icke – no they are not aliens and reptilians, even though these groups really do believe that they are channelling aliens from Arcturus and Lyra through Jesus – but I think it’s all stupid notions from sick minds, minds that are determined to reign supreme on the earth and take humanity into space and suppress them, in the name of Jesus.

It’s worrying, I would name the groups here, but that may increase my problems.  I am expecting this post to increase problems as it is.  But there you go, this is why I write certain poems, some of my poems are a mockery of their beliefs, because I find them to be dangerous, but my poems are also words of caution and remembrance.  How to rise above such idiocrasy!

I respect religions when religions are true to their source; I cannot respect religions who spout things that are not in their scriptures and those who make things up as they go along.  Those religions are very dangerous to the minds of humanity and the journey to peace on earth and general human progression!

These people do not like to be reminded what is truly in their scriptures, because ultimately they have not read their scriptures, because they are confident in the voices that are in their minds – they truly do believe that they are channelling messages directly from Jesus himself.  It’s dangerous.

I know this subject may lose my many followers, but I do hope that I have opened some people’s eyes to the real evil that is in their world right now!

Anything that goes against freedom of choice and world peace must be an evil thing!

Thank you for reading!

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Filed under About Me

Researching religion to its core

In my previous post I mentioned a book that I am reading called “A History of Judaism” and some of you may be curious as to why I am reading such a book?  There are in fact two major reasons for me reading this book and both are to do with simple research.

Firstly I wanted to get to grips in understanding Judaism from its core because of a couple of specific themes I want to write and I don’t like to be ignorant when I am writing about culture.

Secondly, I want to find out why my ancestors left Judaism at the turn of the twentieth century just a decade before the Second World War.  Why some of the very oldest members of my family admit they were originally Jewish, but get rather aggressive about it and somewhat evasive.  I am also interested in finding any new books regarding this subject but set in Italy and Italian Jewish history in particular.

My son Henry absolutely loves learning anything at all about his family history and he has become less afraid of R.E at school since we have been learning the differences between what we know to be Evangelism, J-Witness and Judaism.  My family became Catholic and Evangelists when they left Judaism and part of that branch that left Judaism, also became J-Witnesses.

Part of my problems growing up was the cultural confusion my extended family had on supposed opposing ideas and therefore my understanding of religion was warped over the years; as literally my family would rage war on each other over their beliefs.  According to my grandmother, my great grandmother’s sister reacted so violently against her leaving Judaism for a Catholic man that she threw her into the fireplace and she escaped barely scarred.  Another incidence was that I was reminding an anti-Semitic evangelical relative of mine about how Jesus was a Jew and their response was to slap me across the face!

It astounds me how so many religions are at odds with each other when they all share the same core, corrupt the word of the core and kill each other in the name of the God that is the mainstay of the core.

However, as I am teaching my son, I am reminding him that you cannot hate anyone regarding this, because you cannot blame them for their ignorance.  Most people simply do not have the time on their hands to research as much as we do and therefore, you must always react to their violence with kindness if at all those people could make it possible for us to remain passive and kind that is.  Self-preservation kicks in for us all eventually.

The crucial thing to understand about all religions and cultures is that most people do not have time, they are too busy, they have other priorities and over the years many people have surrendered their personal research to trusted authoritive individuals who may or may not be corrupt within themselves, with the aims of controlling their particular congregations etc.  To be fair, everybody wants to try and honour their ancestors by keeping to what their parents believe and it wasn’t until the last century or so, that humanity in general were largely uneducated due to class differentiation and lack of opportunities.

There will be many updates in the future of my reading lists and there will be many different types of cultures and religions I will be study over the course of my life, because I have an insatiable yearning to understand humanity.  In fact in 2009 I signed up to the OU to do a Social Science degree, but I couldn’t cope with the demands of a new-born baby and running a house so went on extended leave, which is still ongoing!  The OU is lovely in that they have still left it opened for me to return whenever I want to, and I may eventually, as I miss it.

I feel I must apologise to some readers who may have found the tone of this post offensive, because no doubt, there are some who do.  But it is by no means an attack on religion, simply a passive eye opening, hoping that, with the tools of the modern age, that you will find time to research the roots of your beliefs to the very core and not just what your local parish tells you.

Thank you for reading.

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Filed under About Me

I am the devil

I know what I am

I am the devil

I am man

I lived on Earth and it I ran

It fell apart

I broke your heart

I caused you pain

Made you insane

Now you have to, start again

I am the devil

Your bane

I broke your heart

Drove you insane

And I will always

Do it again

Until you have me

Home again

If you want peace on earth

Bring me home

Back to heaven

I’m so alone

I won’t stop

Till I’m at your throne

Kneeling down

On the dais stone

Before your feet

I need your sweet

Hand to touch me

And I need

To come on home

Kneeling down

Before your throne

I need heaven

My home again

Bring on back

Your wicked men

So that we

Can love again

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Filed under poetry