Tag Archives: rain

Did you grow little seed?

Sorry for the rain yesterday

Did you learn?

Did you grow?

What do you know right now?

Did you sulk or did you sail?

Did you walk another trail?

I need to know, did you grow?

Or are you still so small?

Didn’t the rain catch you at all little seed?

Why do you bleed right now?

The rain should have washed those tears away by now!

I promised you a dream so sail…

Sail those salty waters to your destiny

Set yourself free

Don’t wail

Go now…

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Dance to the beat of life!

Sometimes we need grey skies to make it rain

Sorry if those days cause you pain

Let’s hope the sun peaks from the clouds

So we can have a rainbow party so loud!

So we can dance away the insanity of life

Dance away the strife

Because it hurts like a knife when life is grey!

Because life is more than this they say!

So dance to the beat of life and be merry

Dance with your friends, Leah, John and Jerry

So come on now, let’s plough a field of dreams

You need the rain it seems

To make it grow

And it will grow

Just wait and see

You’ll be free some day!

Yippee!

Because everything is temporary

Love and hate

Peace and war

 Rain and sun and so much more

It won’t last, so have a blast when the sun shines down on you!

That’s all you can do

Right now!

Dance to the beat of life…

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I am everything or a rainbow

Above is a picture I took a few days ago – the lighting is not good and no its not filtered. Definitely seeing the weight loss in my face, in my opinion.

That’s face yoga for you!

I’d like to show another updated full-length picture of me but people are not patient with me when I need them to shoot me… I mean take my picture so I bought a full-length mirror – now I have to probably wait six months for Paul to put it up on the wall for me so I can shoot myself – I mean do selfies.

The other day I shared a dream about how I want to look and I told you all that I regard it with embarrassment a bit – that’s true, but what I failed to tell you all is that even with that I dither at times.

Most the time I want the platinum/white hair and to dress how I like in rainbows, fluff and pinks – but there is another side of me.

Sometimes, though not often, I want to be the strong looking athletic brunette with a long French plait, good toned arms, but stockier than the image I have about the platinum/white haired version of me.  Sometimes in the brunette form I have in my mind, I would wear a crown braid and I would mostly wear black jeans and a white tank top, everything toned. 

I like both ideas and I know which one is easier to become, it’s the secondary one.  I could never really shape or mould such a muscle dense body such as this into the body shape of the platinum/white haired dream.

However, the brunette version of me I only ever really think about once a week – so I don’t like it as much as I do the platinum/white version I have in mind, also the vampire/dark side in me prefers the brunette.

The purpose of the photo was to show you what I look like and what you think would suit me best?

Why did I mention this?  Because today is a brunette day – a big contrast to yesterday where for about half a day I wanted rainbow coloured hair, glittery make up and rainbow dungarees for some weird reason!

I think though it had something to do with the “Who am I” meditation I did, because one thing was clear to me in the meditation – I was the warm sun on a rainy sunny day and what happens on rainy warm sunny days like those?  Rainbows…

I felt both dark and light all at once, good and evil all at once and what do you get when you mix dark and light whilst holding crystals in your hand?  That’s right… rainbows!

So I am everything or a rainbow… I am still not very sure just of yet!

I didn’t share everything I said I was in my meditation yesterday as a lot I was embarrassed about – such as being a rainbow and other weird things like that! 

I very nearly cut out the sex but then I remembered that you all know I am a nympho anyway! 

I don’t think I can make up my mind what I want to look like between the two – my sensibilities tells me go with the one I want the most and think about the most and that would be the white/platinum me – but that is the hardest path to tread in moulding my body naturally.

I’ve mentioned before, in my adult life I find it hard to be lighter than 180 pounds because of muscle mass – I used to do weight lifting when I was younger I just can’t get below 180.  I gain muscle really fast and it is scary what I will look like if I hit the weights again – I really need one on one advice which I am hoping to start at the end of the month at the local gym.

It seems logical then to go with the secondary choice as I don’t think my body shape once I’ve reached my goal would suit a white/platinum woman in Barbiecore clothing, would it?

Oh I don’t know, this is exactly the reason why I was in the TPE lifestyle (total power exchange), the man in my life makes those decisions for me!  LOL

Thanks for reading

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Filed under About Me, Defining myself, Who am I today?

This is who and what I am

Weather beaten I stand tall

Whiplashed and in pain I withstand the rain

I don’t care what you think of me

My dream has always been to be free

I don’t care what people say

I just sit around waiting for those better days

You can’t know what is in my heart

When you try to tear me apart

Nothing can be worse that this

I just search for love and bliss

You can see my battle scars

But you treat me like I’m from Mars

But you know one thing is clear to me

You can never ever be me

No you don’t have the strength to fight the storm

And batten down the hatches against the vicious swarm

Of hate and lies and words of contempt

You could fight it, but you won’t even attempt

That is why I know I have strength

That’s why your words don’t touch me

Because my heart is free from me

I’ve left it outside in the cold rain

It’s there to protect me from the pain

No more do I give a damn

This is who and what I am

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I like rainbows

I like rainbows

You can’t get them without the darkness

You can’t get them without the rain

You can’t get them without your shadows

But they can heal your pain

I like rainbows

They are fun and they are pretty

They put smiles on sad faces

And they colour our drab cities

I like rainbows

They shine bright through the air

They might be nothing to you

But for me they show God cares

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Artwork of never Part 1 (p1)

Based on my, “Say goodbye to the blue”, poem.

1st picture

The moon crying tears down onto a world, causing chaos and flooding in human cities. 

2nd picture

A happy girl giving a depressed girl a key wrapped up in a pink bow as a gift with a tag that says “key to happiness”.

3rd picture

A person swimming upstream of a river filled with thorns and rocks.

4th picture

A thoughtful girl with a chess board, thinking hard about her next move, each chess piece is different; the king is a golden microphone, the queen a shopping voucher, the bishops representing two potential love choices, etc.

5th picture

The depressed girl, sailing with a hopeful smile on her face out of the river of thorns, stones and urine and into the blue sea of hopeful happiness, filled with islands all the things that could bring her joy!

6th picture

The depressed girl, no longer depressed, but happy, smiling up and waving goodbye to the blue crying moon in the distance of the shadowlands whilst she is on her island of happiness and sun!

These art pieces would take me thirty to fifty hours to produce, hence why they are the artworks of never; they are likely never to be produced.

Sad I know, but if you saw the post yesterday you’d understand why.

Happy reading!

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Rainy memories

Darkness is wrapping itself around me today

It is getting stormy

The rain trickles down my window

The air is getting damp

My bones start creaking with the weather

My muscles start to cramp

But I look on, out that window

To see what weather does

I see grass waving at me in the wind

The atmosphere has a buzz

I feel so sleepy watching this

I dream of better days

But whilst I sit here watching it all

The fire is ablaze

I am wrapped up nice and warm

Watching this rainy weather

Then I sigh and think of you

And how we were together

A smile forms upon my face of memories almost forgotten

How soft your skin was in those days, almost like pure cotton

I fall asleep in my chair, with the memories I hold of you

And I dream of times that were from past, before your sudden adieu

You will live on in my heart; there you’ll always have a place

I remember fondly your sweet and smiling face

I will join you shortly dear

My life has been long but good

And together we’ll be in heaven

Just like lovers should

 

 

 

 

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Emotional fluxes

There are seasons in my heart the world has not yet known

A season of rain and a season of sunshine and a season of snow

Different to spring, summer and winter

These are my fluxes of emotion

Though it may sound overblown

But each day you can’t tell, which season I am in

Let’s just hope it’s a sunny one and let’s hope fun begins

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Haiku 7

Awashed with the rain

the dirtier I get

Sandy, Muddy, Freaky

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hear my vox

moonbeam magic

I’m whispering with the wind

Secrets of untold imaginings

Of prayers unheard

Of silver rings

I’m dazed within, this mind of mine

But my fantasies are diamond mines

 

Sweet whispers help me write

I hear them in the wind

Of frog princes and fairy rings

I see such life in those little drops

Of rain water that fall from rooftops

 

I have a habit that is true

That my dreams will include you

You’re a knight upon a fiery steed

Doing good and knightly deeds

Or sometimes you’re a giant man

Dress for dining, so very grand

 

These things are precious to my soul

It makes me feel so very whole

I need my dreams wrapped in a box

But I like you to hear my vox

 

My many worlds aren’t secret

They are quite well known

But not to you or Joe blogs

Just the creatures that they home

 

I have been invited

To play with them quite free

In my lands of mysteries

Flows a golden stream

 

I would stay forever

In the shadows of my mind

But to leave you here without telling

It would be so unkind

 

So I come back to consciousness

The place of my birth

To see around me strangers

In my alien hearth

 

I don’t belong here truly

In my bubble I should stay

But even people of reality

Needs time to sit and play

 

So I come back to visit

Sharing with you my dreams

Telling you about the magic of a land of extremes

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Short Stories