Tag Archives: Queen

Hippy child & hedgehog invasion

A lazy day today, real lazy, I slept something like five hours longer than normal and didn’t realise the time at all when I woke up – it’s frustrating because I went to sleep four or five hours earlier than I normally do because I want to get into a new routine!  Ironic really!

Though I think I’ve caught the cold Paul and Henry has, as I am achy and bleh!

If I could dress however I wanted to today how would I?

A light cotton dress made useless by a hugely thick knee length fleece cardigan, white dress potentially and rainbow cardigan – I want to wear large beaded jewellery, so I would probably have three different length necklaces on, wooden beads with copper or brass and bracelets to match.

It’s not summer and it’s not a warm day, but I am crazy enough to wear sandals with this because I know I will be warm with that cardy. 

As lazy as I feel I’d actually make more effort with my hair today and have them done with curling tongs, so I have a cute but scruffy rainbow dolly look to me.

I may even do something I really love and wear one of my knitted plaits in my hair and maybe attach a couple of feathers to it.

Basically I want to look like a child from Peter Pan’s lost boys or like something that fell out of my all-time favourite TV series, The Tribe, today.

It’s an OK day to be gardening, dry at any rate – so I’d have probably have been out there today if it wasn’t for the bad neighbour.  Especially as I seem to have window trained a great tit to befriend me in the last few days, I have a feeling he’d actually sit on my lap or something if I were outside he doesn’t seem afraid of me when I am at the window and he has come up to look at me within 3 inches and I move and he doesn’t flinch.

As I said before, when it comes to wildlife, I am a bit of a Disney Princess.

Talking of which I had a dream last night that six hedgehogs came into the garden one after the other and walked into the house and wouldn’t leave and as I was trying to encourage them to get out, they hid.  When Paul felt that they can’t live in the house, he went to chase them out and as he did so they all slowly morphed into porcupines instead and aggressively tried to defend themselves from being man handled. 

Paul was so upset in the dream he phoned up a specialist to get rid of this very problem, the man came and said that the hedgehog/porcupine problem is down to him not remembering things for me and not taking care of me properly, so the porcupines are trying to fill in his duties.

Paul sarcastically said what like doing the washing up etc?  This made the entire four little baby porcupines become bigger than their largest parent and they all chased Paul – I don’t know what happened to Paul in the dream after that, but I was confused and went into the garden.

I nearly trod on a frog and the frog was sitting in a crack in the patio looking at me.  When the hedgehog/porcupine specialist came out into the garden and was on the phone to somebody – he then turned to me and said that someone special has arranged a party for me and that they are going to be coming soon.

I was confused because nobody visits us.

So, when people started letting themselves into my house to set up the party in the garden I was amazed to find loads of people there, mostly celebrities, like Queen, Whitesnake and a bunch of others.

I never did find Paul again in the dream.

I woke up when someone behind me kiss me on the cheek and cuddled me from behind, whilst Brian May was about to start on his guitar for me.

Weird dream, but fun!

I think that the hedgehogs is something to do with my inability to do art because of my art table being used for other things – hedgehogs are one of the main animals I tend to paint and draw with confidence.

Thanks for reading!

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Filed under Dreams, Who am I today?

Space wars

Some people are bitter bullies

Trying to burn a star with a sun

A war out in space

An idiot thinks it’s fun

Some can’t take an answer like “no”

But how one can stoop, ever so low!

They try to punch an envious blow

Cause a fire in the pan

But does he really know who guides my hand?

His own presumed Lord and Master and his sister he hurts

He thinks he is untouchable, but he’ll get his just desserts

Because I am a Queen and I reign well

Anyone who messes with me, will burn in Hell

It is presumed we are the same

But we are not, he is lame

Because he messes with a game

That he can’t win at all

Because the guy is just a fool!

He has a choice to end this now

Stop his silly games

Or else he’ll feel the bite of hounds

Taking all his gains

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Gold and Scarlet

Dressed in gold and bent for you

Another dressed in scarlet hues

They dance the dance of balance

One is a lie and one is true

Which one is the one for you?

Each dragon dances for their part

In order to ensnare your heart

Which one is the precious jewel?

Which one will be a lie and cruel?

Which one is the Queen you need?

Which one intends for treachery to proceed?

Which one can you trust at all?

Which one really caused the fall?

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Fandoms? More like Fangdoms!

Here is the subject of fandoms.

I have been asked in social media a few times over the past few weeks about why (other than horror and vampires) my fandoms are not more widely shared and why I haven’t narrowed them down to specifics?

I haven’t the clue to be honest.

But it’s an interesting thing to think about sharing. 

I think I have made it clear in some of them, but there are a few which I think would even surprise some of my most dedicated followers here.

I think almost everybody knows by now that I have a huge passion for Alice in Wonderland and Alice through the looking glass books and anything pertaining to it, their adaptions and generally collecting stuff that has the characters on them?

This is because I have a huge passion for nonsense, nonsense rhymes, absurdism and surrealism and therefore this also means that I like those kinds of art, I also like abstract art and impressionism.

Another widely known fandom I love is The Wizard of OZ and the whole series of fourteen books and the adaptions of those too. 

I like Peter Pan and all their adaptions too.

But I like other things too, not just fandoms pertaining to classical literature, because I am also a fan of Charles Dickens, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and The Bronte sisters and their adaptions.

Everybody knows I have a passion for vampires, I love the vampire diaries but I am also mad keen on Vampire the Masquerade since a friend introduced me to them fifteen years ago because they felt I was copying them – which I couldn’t have been because I knew nothing about them before they told me!

Actually there was a lot of similarities that I had to rehash a huge amount of work for, because I too, was afraid of the coincidences.  This had meant that literally after I learned about Vampire the masquerade I had to totally re-edit about thirty whole books I had finished and stashed, waiting for the time I found my courage to send them off.  Luckily I didn’t, is all I can say!

Since finding them on YouTube two years back, I have been trying to watch Vampire the Masquerade L.A by Night and its so much fun! 

I’d totally love to be on that show!

I have only got through season 1 episode 10 so far, that’s an epilogue, so I have to finish the epilogues before I move onto season 2; I’ll get there eventually!

I also love Anne Rice, naturally.

Another fandom I like has been The Sandman Comics from Neil Gaiman.

I also like mafia movies and series such as The Sopranos.

I am a huge fan of Stephen King and have been since I was a kid; I started horror young, thanks to my grandma!

I also love anything to do with the Froud family, their puppets, their artworks I absolutely adore their works!

I love the muppets too and sesame street! I love puppets, but I am scared of certain types like the traditional ventriloquist wooden dummies and Pinocchio, Pinocchio freaks me out!

I’m huge keen on Queen, the rock band I got into them with another one of my big fandoms “The Highlander” movies, TV series and books!

I am also a huge fan of Batman, have been since I was 5yrs old and all their villains.

I like the original Star Trek too – one of my exes is such a big trekkie he is actually a famous lifestyle Klingon these days – seriously, he speaks fluent Klingon and works day in and day out purely entertaining his hobby with other fans, it’s his day job!  I am not such a huge fan to do that myself – but hey Star Trek is pretty cool!  I never missed an episode growing up!

I also love anything to do with the Lord of the Rings.

Both Henry and I are huge Lady Gaga fans as well or little monsters!

I personally love Monty Python and Mr Bean too.

I will never grow up either, so I love Trolls and Winnie the Pooh and I still collect things to do with them!

I also love musical theatre and operas as well, so I have quite a few passions for some of those – such as Phantom of the Opera, Cats, Witches of Eastwick, Carmina Burana, various Shakespeare plays too.

I am mad keen on anything to do with circuses, fairs and carnivals and I have a huge passion for masquerades!  With this being said, I love Pierrot, jesters, harlequins and these days clowns too – I used to be terrified of clowns and now I love them – go figure!   

I love anything pertaining to the occult as well, I do a lot of research in that and love learning new things about superstitions and other stuff – usually because I write horror and love horror.

I am also involved with several horror fandoms, mostly pertaining to Stephen King but I do like other stuff too, things from Susan Hill, Edgar Allen Poe and Max Brooks.

I like anything to do with fairyland and gnomes and things like that as well.

So I would say my fandoms are broad, I do spread myself thinly – but I am mostly just horror, vampires, batman, absurdism and that sort of thing.

I would also include dogs but do they count?  I think they do!  Also goats and guinea pigs, but hey there you go!  People don’t acknowledge those as fandoms!  LOL

I love Rome Total War and Warhammer games too, but I am too poor to enjoy them when they are new out and that sucks!

I like war games and anything to do with strategy – I also love learning about ancient warfare.

I also love Victorian or regency dramas.

I really love Discworld too!  Terry Pratchett is amazing!

I liked, but didn’t want the whole thing – Once Upon A Time a TV series, that was cool too – just didn’t have the time to see all of it and then the DVD player broke down halfway through the box-set in fact right at the part they first met Captain Hook!

So sucky – I loved it and I want to know what happens – but NO SPOILERS PLEASE!

So, yes that’s me in fandoms… I wouldn’t say I am hard-core in much except vampires and Alice in Wonderland though.

Thanks for reading! 

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The 80s

I grew up resenting anyone who was a teenager or an adult during the 80s and early 90s because in my opinion, that was a cool time to be a teenager or an adult in!

I know a lot of people look back in the 80s with disdain for the fashion and hairstyles, but you know what?  I thought and still do think that it was a cool time for fashion!  Except for maybe shoulder pads… but everything else I loved!

Particularly the music!

I love the Eurhythmics

Bon Jovi

Queen

Meatloaf

Duran Duran

The Madness

And a whole bunch of others!

I even found most of the fantasy and horror movies were much better then, but then again a lot of people think I like crap – so, whatever…

What’s more is I love garish colour and vocally, I suppose I am a bit outdated as I still spout the words “Cool” and “aw man” and others… I can’t get into all this new stuff where saying “sick” means great – to me, well, you don’t wanna know what sick means to me!

This is another reason why I have confined myself to the bedroom recently – Henry is tired of my retro to the 80s playlist.

Ho hum.

Professional wrestling was at its greatest too! 

If I had a time machine I would go back to the 80s so I could go to several wrestling events and go to the music concerts of all the above!

Never been to a music concert before!

Thanks for reading!

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Filed under Brain Drain

They hate people like me

Sitting here reading my posts in the past few days has been hard for a lot of you, I know it has been because some of them has made Paul cry and he is hard to move usually.

Would you believe me if I told you before I got sick in 2013 that I was annoyingly positive and considered to be a cross between Pollyanna and Patty Simcox?  Yes, I had Pollyanna syndrome is it any wonder the darkness chased me down and tore me a part over the years?

They don’t like care bears in this world!

Regardless of my depression, I still try to be the old me – talking myself out of things, looking like a lunatic as I false smiles in the mirror, sigh and say to myself “It’s going to be a great day today”, then I go downstairs and walk into a screaming match between Paul and Henry and everyone storms out into different rooms and I just can’t help but think… well… no one said good morning and they’ve gone… is it me?

Tentatively put my desktop computer on, mooch over to pet the rabbit and see if he is OK and if the TV is off I may risk putting on some music for me and the rabbit as we don’t like a quiet room full of the residues of discontent.

I put the music on and open a window to try and get the bad vibes out, but then seconds later someone comes back because they’ve simply got to rant at me about how useless, rude, nasty, lazy whatever negative narrative about the other person they want at me and force me to take a side and I won’t.  I am a neutral Nicky.

They hate those kinds of people in this world too.

What happened?  Oh, I see, well maybe you need to see things from their perspective etc… but no, no, no, it doesn’t help.

Perhaps reacting without a shout could help?  But no, they shout at me then about why it’s not as easy as all that and how I am so annoying!

I go off to see the other person who hasn’t come back yet, I say something along the lines of – would you like a drink or a bite to eat and oh boy do I get snapped at!  It’s like living in a tank of piranhas at times!

Oh ok, I only asked, please don’t shout at me, then they whine their apologies and I have to try and cope with writing and my own mental health problems when this stuff is around me more often than not.

That’s how lonely I am here.  I have no release, I can’t rant to other people about it – there is no one around for me, they are all too self-absorbed.

They really wouldn’t miss me if what I said yesterday would happen in April, their only concern would be, there is no extra person to diffuse to anymore.

That’s my value here in this family – I am just a sort of shock absorber if you like?

Anyway, I do try… as I said, it’s hard to do it alone.

Thanks for reading!

Oh and remember, the happy quiet ones are the ones you need to care for the most and be the most considerate of – because we’re the ones who usually end up dead young.  One by one, only the good die young, they‘re only flying too close to the sun, and life goes on, without you By Queen – it’s a song that’s always haunted me, my gran was always afraid the song was about me!

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Filed under About Me

In memory of The Queen.

The whole family has been affected greatly by the loss of our Queen.

We have been stunned to say the least, like the whole world has and it is a big adjustment to get used to. 

I have never met the Queen but Paul has on a couple of occasions because he used to be an officer in the Royal Navy, it sort of came with the job and so it has hit Paul the hardest here.

I think I speak for us all when I say, we will miss The Queen.

May people remember her for all the good she has bought to the world.

May she rest in peace!

Thank you all for reading.

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Filed under Home and Family

Do you show yourself up?

I have started my writer’s journal yesterday (6th June 2022) and I was finding it insightful rethinking how my projects developed over the years and how I have grown as a writer.

Because I get so wrapped up in my projects I often forget to post on my blog, so I often do blog posts around two weeks in advance, just to help maintain activity here – because if I don’t, the blog goes quiet for three months at a time and I don’t like to do that!

Anyway, going back to my first paragraph of this post, I discovered that certain projects were bland when I originally started them – but over time, they fleshed out really well and morphed into something completely different, even character names changed to suit the new situations that ensued.

For example, I had a young child protagonist who was originally seven years old, she then became twelve and now the character is going to be fifteen.  Simply because of how the story developed into something much different and my goals are very different today than they were back then!

I also only had around five characters that were friends of the hero and helped her on her journey; this grew to become nine solid friends and a small number of fly by helpful friends.

I decided the villain dies in the end and that so does the heroine too, but this changed, I leave no spoilers as to my current decision or you’d be looking for it in any book that sounds alike, when it gets published.

But what threw me was the fact that the book developed when I developed – I don’t mean creatively developed, I mean, its subjects developed with what was going on in my life at the time of writing…

The heroine was a runaway –then she was not.

I was a runaway at the same time this story originated in my mind, the characters plot of running away changed, when I no longer felt the need to run away in my real life. 

This is a development I didn’t notice until I revisited the writing process to add to my current projects journal – it is interesting.  I used to pooh-pooh the idea about creative people subconsciously putting their lives into print and that people psychoanalysed everything that wasn’t really there, but, you know… I think there is something about all of that!

If you write a certain theme, it’s because you think or feel or have experienced it in the past or at the present and it is coming out in your writing. 

So be careful at what you are writing out there, I know a lot of real life bitches who tend to write a lot of romantic dramas where there are mega bitches and they just think, their work is set apart from themselves… but… hey… what will literary psychoanalysts say about you in the future, what will they see in you through your work?

It does reveal a lot – I have a writer friend who writes a lot of childish roles in her stories that are not entirely based around children and she struggles a lot with her inner child, she is trying to be mature, but she just can’t hack it and she doesn’t mind I am writing this, I asked her!  But she found it amusing about how accurate this seems to be even with her!

I know another writer who always wanted to be a rock star or a Goth, but was always nervous to do so because of societal stigma, particularly within the Jewish community – so, they write those kinds of characters.  Sorry I didn’t ask them about this, but being that they aren’t named… do they really mind?  I hope not!

You don’t know it until you see it!

But you write yourself in everything!

Since learning this, it has kind of made me paranoid about what people will think about me… but then again… I am happy with who I have become and I am happy I am not who I used to be anymore, so I won’t stress too much!

I just don’t want the analysts to harp on about my mental illness all the time and look back on me with pity!  I don’t like that.

The journal has been a revelation.

What is included in the journal is my journey and thought processes about what is happening in the book – any movies or books that influenced those pivotal scenes, are my characters actually a mock-up of say, my favourite movie characters?  Yes, actually, I can see that a lot in my work!  But it is unique enough to not come across as a total rip off!  That’s very important!

I have even included lyrics which also helped me think of scenes, with references to the singer and the song name. 

Why am I doing this?

Because these journals are on a work by work basis, when I get a piece of work published I have this goal that if I sell ten thousand books, I will send out to publish these snippets from my writers journal to show my readers how I got it done and what influenced me, because I don’t know about you – but I am a very nosy reader!  When I read an author’s book, I want to know more about them as a person, what they think and what they like so I can see who influenced them!  Because I love evolution!

Being a creative, whether you are a writer, song writer, musician, artist etc; you are going through an evolution which will influence and inspire other creatives in the future.  This is exciting and I love this sort of thing!  I am obsessed with evolution, particularly the evolution of the mind, culture and society!

At this point in time, there are hundreds of works by other people who have influenced all seventy nine of my nearly finished works, yes, seventy nine!  There have been many things which have influenced me several times over in most of my works and those are;

Nox Arcana music, art and lyrics

Neil Gaiman’s works, particularly his prose and comics

Colleen Doran’s Raphaelite style artworks

Various wrestling shows with their gimmicks and storylines

Aurora Aksnes lyrics and music videos

Anne Rice vampires

Vampire movies in general

Modern gothic art, particularly by Anne Stokes

Tim Burton’s movies and artworks

Ancient myth and legends worldwide

Roald Dahl’s works and movie adaptions

Lady Gaga’s music videos and lyrics

Stephen King’s works and movie adaptions

Brian Froud and the Froud families’ artworks and puppet movies

The Mad Max series and franchise

Mafia movies and history

Max Brooks works and movie adaptions

Children’s classic bedtime fairy-tales

Marilyn Manson music videos

Queen music and music videos and adaptions

The Rocky horror picture show and its adaptions

Suzanne Collins works and adaptions

The Animals of Farthing wood

Watership down and its adaptions

Wind in the willows and its adaptions

Monty Python TV shows and movies

Terry Pratchett’s works and adaptions

Johnny Depp’s characters

Robert Downy Jr’s characters

Gabriel Byrne’s characters

Al Pacino’s characters

Bette Midler characters

Kathleen Turner characters

Pam Ferris characters

James Earl Jones characters

Bon Jovi lyrics

To name but a few, I know it’s really a lot, but its few in the real number of influences I have had over the years!

So you see – you are what you are and you can’t hide it!

Happy reading everybody!

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Filed under About my work

The kelp dragons and the fairy coronation

In the land of the kelp dragons all mossy and green

The creatures are preparing a coronation for a new fairy queen

Her dress is green felt embroidered with ferns and her crown is gold apricots that won’t spoil or turn

She rides to the scene with an elegant mare, that’s decorated with blueberries, apples and pears

The dragons sit around protecting the queen

Nothing can harm them, they are too supreme

The fairies all gather around in the fen

As the dragons give their blessings to the queen and them

Before the dawn comes all have fun at the ball

The royal procession is fun time for all

Before the sunrises, the queen kisses goodbye, to all the kelp dragons and tries not to cry

Because she won’t ever see them again, as they only come to fairies if its coronation time again

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Filed under Short Stories

Casey’s Crown

There are some distant church bells chiming across the foggy moors, ghostly songs are being sung, songs of a thousand years.  Casey is chilled to the bone; her grey shredded shawl flaps clumsily around her, making her image seem fragmented in the distance.  The ghostly song soon turns into evil menacing laughter and in the distance, a carousel spins, the decorative horse eyes that surround the carousel in their beautiful jewels and golden poles are aglow.  A demonic voice beckons Casey to go forwards, towards the carousel, welcoming her to the fair, welcoming her to sights never seen before, welcoming her to yield to the desires of them from the unknown.

Tentatively she steps forwards towards them, compelled by their magic.  Her footsteps are soft and delicate like tiny faeries dancing on the petals of roses so softly that the petals are unharmed.  Casey soon notices that her grey and brown rags are changing, but she doesn’t care, she just carries on towards the demonic fair, tip toeing like a ballerina in jade silk slippers.  Her clothes are turning into beautiful jade and gold coloured silks and white laces, her muddy hands are transformed to the hands of a beautiful clean lady, her fingers slender and rich, her nails polished and long… she is not Casey any more, she doesn’t know who she is turning into, but the feeling is glorious.  The demons at the fair cannot be seen nor heard any more.  There is a strong looking soldier standing by the carousel on guard – but Casey is not sure of what he is guarding.  He salutes Casey and a fanfare then erupts around them, an unseen army is marching she senses, not far behind the carousel, playing a robust brass band as they go along. 

A smell of roses accentuates the air around her.  Then, in the clearing of the fog, as she walks around the carousel, she sees them, the marching brass band and their soldiers in tow of a beautiful gilded litter carriage.  Peering into the window of the litter carriage Casey saw a beautiful young woman, in a golden gown with jade jewels bestrewed around her, her hair is unseen for it is covered by a beautiful jade scarf.  The woman, of which Casey presumes to be a queen, waves her hand towards a man presumably a steward to open the carriage door.  He does so, he calls to the soldiers in the band to halt and abruptly the music stops and all is still.  The Queen descends her carriage gracefully and on tippy toes walks elegantly towards Casey and takes hold of her shoulders, smiling sweetly down at her.  She is a pretty lady, very sweet and tender looking, like a mother attending to her infant.  Slowly the Queen stands aside and gently pushes Casey towards the opened carriage door and placing her crown upon Casey’s head, then walks away from Casey, slowly turning into a rag ridden young urchin and disappearing into the fog.  Confused Casey stays looking back into the fog for the queen, tentatively feeling for her crown, it felt strange upon her.  

The above story is a shortened version of a novelization I am working on and have been working on since May 2017. 

I wanted it to be a series of horror books, because Casey will have adventures and will lead into adventures of new characters along the way.  The thing is, I am not sure how many books this will potentially be or whether or not they will ever be completed, so I felt that it would be relatively safe to post this up on the blog.

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Filed under Short Stories