Tag Archives: prayer

Top 10 beliefs & superstitions

Top 10 favourite beliefs, spiritual stuff and traditions!

Top 10 traditions I have

Decorating the Christmas tree on December 1st (as in UK we don’t have Thanksgiving)

Cinnamon French toast & plum compote for breakfast on Christmas morning

Decorating the house for Easter & having an Easter tree

Because I am multi-faith I do acknowledge small aspects of the Jewish Sabbath, not much but there are things I do on Friday nights if nothing gets in my way! Paul doesn’t like a lot of it he is completely faithless; Henry likes it, but if Paul doesn’t like it we don’t do it. I like to light a candle and acknowledge the sabbath in prayer, but that’s all I can do here and usually in the bedroom not at the dining table where its supposed to be! Two years ago Henry and I was seriously thinking about going back to the old family faith entirely, but we didn’t have the support from his dad. My friend Lizzy who is quite Frum in the Jewish community was thrilled and supportive. In fact its because of this, that Henry and Paul’s relationship has suffered, because Henry really wanted to go to the synagogue and learn more and he is upset he won’t be getting a bar mitzvah in May 2023 when he will be 13! -I know it sounds counter to the belief, but visions and spiritual guidance has improved a lot since deciding about exploring my Jewish ancestry.

On New Year’s Eve, you should clean the house as much as possible, open all the windows and doors as close to Midnight as possible and sweep the old year out of every door you can and sweep in the new year – if you are partying that night, don’t worry, do it first thing in the morning! 

Dressing up on Halloween and giving candy to Trick or Treaters – or if I am lucky and able to go to or have a special Halloween party! 

A special family meal on all Equinoxes and Solstices!

Sprinkling magic dust for the reindeer on Christmas Eve with Henry on the path of the house and putting up the magic key for Santa to get indoors and hanging it on the wreath of the door!

Putting a silver coin in the Christmas pudding for extra luck for the lucky person who finds it Christmas day!

Prayers to the full moon about what you need in the coming month with a silver coin in hand flip it 3 times and spin 3 times.

Top 10 superstitions I have

As a woman I shouldn’t pick up a dropped or crossed knife (it’s an old Romany belief)

Shouldn’t cut a person’s hair if they are sick and when you cut your hair it should be buried or burned!

You must always leave a food or drink offering to house spirits before you go to bed, in a specific place in the kitchen for them!

My grandma always told me to stick a knife or a piece of sharp wood under the cradle of all babies to protect them from Lilith – not sure if this is a Jewish belief or not, but it’s in my family!  Henry still has his sharp wood under his bed, I don’t let go!  Lol

If you are having a period of bad luck in your life, bathe in sea salt water in the bath, get out the bath, dry yourself off and before you do anything get your clear quartz crystal and circle yourself, do this for 3 days.

Black cats and the number 13 ARE VERY LUCKY POSITIVE symbols to me and my family, not the normal beliefs others have!

I can’t identify yellow chrysanthemums but when I find out that someone has bought them into the house and told me what they were, I get upset because in family tradition, those flowers denote death and mourning and if nobody has died, they’ve no right to be inside your house!

A robin visiting the window or coming too near me in the garden means that my ancestors need me to talk to them and so I should go and meditate at my earliest convenience.

Don’t talk ill of the dead.

Don’t go out of your way to contact the dead, it’s disrespectful you can talk to them if you like – but don’t actively disturb them!  I am clairvoyant, but I don’t force communication!

Top 10 spiritual things I do or believe

I believe in the God of the Old Testament and no presumed messiah, yet; but I also ask for advice from angels, spirit guides and animal guides or my higher self that looks like prayer but isn’t – totally different ball game!

Though I consider myself mostly a believer in the Old Testament, I do believe in some aspects of revelations in the New Testament, primarily because of my upbringing – but also because of unexplained visions and dreams which have come true over the years and I continue to get these visions at times and I am too shy to talk in depths about them!

My family believe they are descendants from all sorts of things – Vietnamese ancestors believe they’re dragon shapeshifters – my Irish ancestors believe we’re descended from the tuatha de danann, fairies and Celtic Gods, part of my Greek ancestry believe we are descended from Dionysus, the Romans believed they were Sons of Mars and my grandma said we’re related as distant cousins to the families Vakarelski (I have found this to be true on Genesreunited) who were accused of vampirism and are also cousins to Vlad Tepes the III!  As well as many Salem Witches and Aleister Crowley – phew, so I definitely believe I have magical blood.  Especially as my grandma told me that I have green eyes which instantly strengthens all magical powers tenfold!  Along with this whenever I get angry, power cuts occur or electrical appliances die!  Paul never believed me until he witnessed my first fury living with him!

I believe in the healing energy of the earth – I like to walk barefoot in the garden to soak up the energy, when I don’t do this for a while I get sick.

I believe in crystal healing magic.

I believe animals can and do communicate with people, only most people are not attuned to hear them or bother understanding them and their ways!

I believe you need to be careful at whatever you say, you can’t be flippant in your words as what you say has a way in actually manifesting – so choosing your words carefully is vitally important.  Because the more energy you put into your words, especially if it’s a heightened energy like anger, because it will work faster and hit you on the nose later on!  Consistency in thought word and deed is essential!

I believe dreamtime is every bit as real as the awakened world and that you can shift realities after a while of practising and trusting things.

I believe in the balance, to be totally for dark and totally for the light is bad – you need both or everything will be destroyed!

I believe everything is interconnected to everything else, you can’t exist as a lone entity and so what you do and say is important, not just for yourself, but others.  You need to be mindful in your life, not do things constantly for selfish reasons as what you do and say can affect many people around you – it’s like a butterfly effect.

Top 10 faiths I have enjoyed learning about and practised in the past and present, present is indicated with *

Judaism *

The Kabbalah (a Jewish mysticism) *

Native American shamanism  *

Nordic shamanism

Romany witchcraft *

Buddhism philosophy, though not lifestyle yet

Taoism *

Sikhism

I will confess I learned a lot in the dark side of the occult in my youth and it made me research harder than anything and bought me back to basics and learning a lot more than I would had I of just stayed influenced by the J-witness movement my mum got me involved in!  Long and arduous path, but it made everything I was taught by religion more sense!  Basically the darkness taught me how to see the rainbow and appreciate the light and balance!  Ultimately, it taught me that there is nothing to fear spiritually, all things I must fear are within humanity and other people, not spirits. 

Mormonism – they accept people like me who are seers and clairvoyants.

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Filed under About Me

I hear you Michael

I have got the message Michael

Now is time for love

I clothe you in your armaments

My sweet and beautiful dove

Now is the time for fortitude

I have the grace of God

With the wisdom of my teachers

I will help dismantle fraud

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Filed under poetry

Some people kill for suppositions

Some people know what it’s like to be so multicultural that they call you fake

Call you a wannabe, call you a snake

Some people know what it is like to live in different classes, but mostly being poor

Some people call you a fake and they close their doors to you

Some people know what it is like to be fat then thin, then fat again and thin again

Body changing constantly like the tides of the sea

Some people know what it is like to be me

Some people think I can’t possibly be, all these things, that make me, me

A half gypsy grandma with Greco Italian roots who is a quarter cast to boot

Married a half jew that was raised catholic, a cockney with a Welsh grandmother

Clutching rosaries and cursing the church, what a sight, how absurd?

But that was them my maternal side

I have nothing bad to hide

I love my family and they love me

But still society picks on me

Because I am fake, didn’t you know?

I can’t possibly be all the things I know

Even fake still my paternal side

My grandpa who watched the genocides

Whilst smoking pipes in his wheelchair, writing letters like he didn’t care

Calling himself a Christian and a lord some spit at him and some applaud

Is he German or Austrian? I never knew, but my grandma said he could be the two

But she knew he was Italian too, wearing black shirts and doing poo

She was ashamed of him, I am too

She was different, the opposite, with her Dutch roots and Irish eyes smiling, though her hair was dyed, worshipping Jesus and the saints like a good catholic woman

Swimming in the seas of war saving sailors, now that I applaud and dancing with the majorettes, a descendant of the oldest aristocratic family of Europe, the most loving person I could ever know

Teaching me how to speak and grow

Won’t tell me about grandad you know?

I can’t blame her really, can you?

Not if he wore blackshirts supporting poo

But you call me fake, don’t you?

So you don’t believe a word

Because all this mixture is too absurd

My grandma hid a fact from her husband and it was simply this

Her great grandpa was from Vietnam, I imagine he’d be really pissed!

Fascists think they are pure and true and yet they are very wrong

Everyone is related yet they say it’s wrong

I know what it’s like to not be believed

I get it everyday

This is why I don’t talk that much, because I have nothing else to say

I am who I am and I am a mix

But you call me liar, so I’m in a fix

Because I tell the truth, yet you say I lie

But I do not and it makes me cry

My mother skipped from faith to faith

Trying to find her feet

Kept doing this and that, making things hard for me

I decided long ago that the only faith that’s real

Is the old testament and nothing else

Because the new one was written to steal

Steal God’s people away from him

By other liars true

If you think about it, you will see that what I say is true

Most religions stem from the Jews

Isn’t it a funny thing?

How the Jews are the smallest culture

Yet the liar’s faith grows and sings?

Yes the prophets were all good men

But why pray to them so?

Pray to the source, which is God and all the bad things will go

I feel blessed in my life, since I started to pray to source

But you are angry to hear this, I understand of course

A culture that lasted centuries can get set within their ways

I cry for all the lost children

I cry and pray each day

That you will return to God and see what the deceiver has done

Playing cousin against cousin, watching the chaotic fun!

But that is something off my chest

I needed you to know

Because I love you no matter what

You are lost through all the woe

This poem was not meant to preach

But show you all my life

But things have a funny way to show

Who holds a candle and a knife?

I know what it’s like not to be loved

I know what it’s like to hurt

I know what it’s like to have a mother who pushes you away into the dirt

I know what it’s like to have a father who watches what she does

But sits afraid of losing her and sits with you in the mud

I know what its like to love and lose

I know what its like to be alone and bruised

I am tall but I am not strong

So many people have done me wrong

Yet I still love and care for them

Because I believe in Lord Hashem

He’d want me to look after them and show them another way

I know what it’s like not to be heard

But that’s Ok

I am sorry I got a bit carried away with this poem; this poem was the second task from the book “How to grow your own poem” by Kate Clanchy.

This was supposed to be my own version of “Some People” by Rita Ann Higgins.  https://www.lyrikline.org/sl/pesmi/some-people-5711  I must apologise in advance for the swearing that is quite strong in this poem.

But I really do know what it’s like to have such a mix heritage that almost everybody thinks I lie about it to impress them, but I really don’t.  It’s really hard not to talk about your family and their ways when your family has literally been your only life.

I really do feel for people who have got lost in lies.  But the thing is, I understand that the prophets etc that are included in religious rituals were good people too.  I understand that, but religion has deflected away from God so much because they prefer to pray through those prophets and then wonder why things aren’t as blessed as they should be. 

I honestly have known Christians who believe that Jesus is God, some of the more educated understand that he isn’t, but still they pray through him, not directly to God?  Can you imagine how God feels about that?  Especially as the supposed Messiah has not fulfilled their promise told in The Old Testament? 

Did you know when the true Messiah comes to Earth no one can doubt him, not even the tiniest bit?  That when he comes all will feel he is the genuine one and it will cause instant peace on Earth that lasts forever, then after people have seen the Messiah, God himself will come down from heaven and destroy heaven so that Earth becomes paradise?  The Torah says this.  It’s something to think about isn’t it?

It was Gods promise that he would do this.  Thing is, I am not jewish, my great grandmother was, but I was raised in three types of Christianity whenever my mother wanted the change – Anglican, Jehovah’s Witness and Catholic, I never knew what I was supposed to be growing up, that’s why I went and researched religion so much, to find out what the blazes the truth is!

I chose to be a non-participating Noahide until further notice, because I am confused. A Noahide is what Jews call a righteous gentile, a person who wasn’t raised in the Jewish faith properly and who believes in God and prays to him and sometimes they are converted fully into Judaism, some never are. I participate in private prayer to God, but I have not joined any communities yet.

Why? Because I find my relationship with God is a private one and I understand that this world is rife with hate and violence.

Studying every form of religion that stemmed from Judaism and then Judaism itself made things abundantly clear to me; it’s nonsense all these religious wars because everyone who stemmed from Judaism, should still be Jewish, not killing each other over what version of lies they love the best. 

Yes the deceiver is true and real, but I can’t help but think that billions of people can be wrong and duped. 

Even the Jews themselves have sort of lost their way a little, when the Sadducees and Pharisees started changing things, making the original seven laws of God into Ten and then all of a sudden six hundred and thirteen!  How did that happen?

Most Christians I know have no idea that Jesus was even a rabbi, they believe he was just a carpenter, but that is partly true, but also yes, he was a rabbi! 

Honestly I have been there and experienced all this myself and like you, I was astounded at what I found and I was deeply pained in the knowledge that all those who believe in the same God, still fight and kill each other, it’s utterly ludicrous!

A major part of my depression is knowing all of this and crying daily because I see cousin against cousin and for what?  For suppositions, that’s all!  Just mere suppositions!   

I became like my mother in my early adult years, skipping from faith to faith trying to find out why God ignores me and it wasn’t until I decided to connect with my spirit guides and ask them why he ignores me, that they told me one simple thing.

“Have you thought about talking directly to God without going through another entity, not even us, your guides”? 

To be perfectly honest – no I didn’t!

Because so often I was told that God is too busy to listen to all of us hence the angels and the prophets; but don’t you think that this disempowers him? 

Don’t you believe for one second that God has created all of this and he has the time to care for all of it, that he wouldn’t go beyond his own personal limits that he is limitless and will respond?

Because I believe he doesn’t take on more than he can chew personally.  I believe he has the time but the thing is, do you have the heart for it?  Do you have the inclination to respect his wishes from you and treat him with respect and talk to him respectfully like you would any monarch upon the earth?

Don’t talk to him like a beggar would, that’s disrespectful, humble yourself, but don’t beg.  Be mindful of his power, be mindful of his love and don’t try to abuse him in prayer.

You need to pray in a way where you ask him to teach you, ask him to show you things, so you can help yourself, because if there is one thing I have learned about God are that he despises laziness.  He made you in his image remember; would you dare to call God lazy?

He is there to help because he loves you, but he helps you only when you ask him to. 

He doesn’t give you things on a plate, you say “Oh I am so poor” give me some money please”.  No matter how polite you are, that is lazy prayer with no intention of helping yourself.

Instead say this; “Show me a way that I can raise my income without it being boring and affecting my health negatively”, he answers by dreams or synchronicities – signs.

If you are sick do not complain about it to him just ask him “Am I sick because here is something I haven’t learned yet?  Are you preventing something?  Are you trying to slow me down because you are worried that I may be reacting too fast I’d get into trouble?  Or are you trying to show me something else, please gives me signs why I am sick”.  He helps.

I have longstanding problems with my hearing and ear health, when I asked him to show me why this was, apparently in a dream I learned that it was because I was constantly telling people “I don’t want to hear about your problems, I don’t want to hear your criticisms” and I realised God was more or less granting me a wish.

Do you have leg problems or hip problems?  Have you ever flippantly said to other people you need to slow down?  Or you wished you could relax more?

Think about it.

I didn’t mean for this post to be preachy, but I am a water dog in Chinese astrology and I can’t help but flow to what I feel is right at the time… my apologies.

I better stop there.

Thanks for reading and much love to all of you!

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Filed under Defining myself, poetry

All I want is a garden

All I really want is to nurture nature’s garden

Growing pretty flowers, everywhere

All I really want, is to walk around this garden

Watching all the wildlife here and there

I want pretty roses, sunflower, pansies and posies

Scattered far and wide and I don’t care

I want a quiet life

I don’t want any strife

I just want my pretty garden, it’s in my prayer

I need my little Eden

Don’t call me a horrid heathen

I love helping nature everywhere!

I don’t ask for much in life

I just want peace, not strife

So send me to a garden – anywhere

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Filed under poetry

It isn’t you – 1

Though I hurt again, you should not take the blame

You are faultless this is true my pain exists despite of you

I hurt before you came to me, I hurt before you knew

I hurt for years and years and none of it is because of you

You know my darkness, you’ve heard my pain, and you’ve seen my tears when I’ve been insane

You know my life I’ll say it again… do not feel responsible for my pain

I fill lakes with tears almost every night; I choke on prayers and try to steal the light

I do it for a piece of glee, a concept that is far beyond me

But you still sit in your own darkness every night, thinking that it’s you…. And you are not right.

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Filed under poetry

Spectral Vampire

I tiptoed through the shadows, stalking him and he didn’t know I was there. Light-footed, my steps traced the line of his footsteps down the darkened pathway towards the car-park; gently I called to him, nothing more than a whisper in the breeze of the night and he turned towards me, he didn’t see me at first, but then, just like a cat, I stealthily approached him and made my excuses to ask for directions to keep his guard down.
He came to me and leaned towards me, nodding at the map in my hands and pointing helpfully, but all I was interested in was clenching my thirst and hunger and grabbing at him around his neck and pulling him close to me. After I was sure he was in my grasp I did so and dropping the map that was in my hands I bit into his neck for the warm sweet juices that flowed within. I barely drank away half of his life until we were disturbed by something brash, violent and fast, coming out from the car-park at us with beams of painful light. The old jeep of my enemy Neil Porter swerved up behind my victim and ran out towards me, I instantly tried to flee the scene but he had a new weapon, something I wasn’t aware he had – a crossbow and it hit into me through the back and into my heart and before I knew it I was standing next to my broken shell, seeing it bleeding to death alongside my victim and my enemy cleaning up both the mess he made and the mess I made.
I was confused at first; watching him packing the bodies away into the back of his jeep, washing the blood on the car-park floor and praying for our souls.
I don’t know where I went after that, I don’t know if spirits sleep, I just went and came back again, nothing filling the gaps; this went on for a long time, each time I would arrive at the scene I last left, each time I would arrive as hungry as the night before and each time I would vanish into the ether of the unknown again and again and again.
I would like to tell you about the first night that I came back.
I came back to the car-park, confused at the new night, wondering where I went and how I got here again. Why here? That question never got answered. I walked through the car-park and across the pedestrian crossing and into the park, I sat on a bench for a while, collecting my thoughts. A few people walked passed me, but no one seemed to be able to see me, someone nearly sat on me that’s how I know. When this happened I felt a deep loss, a sense I had lost my self somehow, I knew I wasn’t whole anymore, I saw that yesterday, but I had hoped that death would have been kinder to me somehow.
My hunger grew to an unbearable level, standing up from the bench I walked further into the park and had hoped to go through to the gates at the other end of the park that lead me to the town’s most night friendly amenities, but I was stopped by some peculiar young girl, twenty something, sniffing the air, smiling and dancing like she was chasing butterflies and coming straight towards me. Right into the jaws of death, so it seemed.
Confused I watched her with both bafflement and caution as she laughed and spoke out loud to herself “Oh the lovely smell” and reaching up into the air trying to catch something invisible even to me! The hunger in me made me retch; I tried to ignore it, because I was dead right? Dead people don’t need to eat do they? So why have I got this hunger? Is this my eternal punishment? Am I in Hell? But the pain got too much; I took a chance that perhaps I can still feed in my spectral form? So, as her head was stretched up looking high around her I put my arm around her waist and lunged into her throat but I couldn’t feed on her blood, her body writhed in agony in my grasp, screaming, but her blood wasn’t soothing my hunger. I held her whilst she screamed, cried and bleed to death. Then I knew, I saw her life leave her and as I sniffed for her suffering, I breathed a little of her into myself and my hunger lessened. Her spirit was too fast for me to catch once I realised what it was that I now needed. How beautiful the feeling of peace was, when I breathed in her soul.
Shortly after a man came into the park and saw the girl lying in a pool of blood, he ran to her to see if she was OK and tried to raise an alarm, but I went to him and my scent side-tracked him from his alarm call as he stopped in mid-sentence and started to sniff the air dreamily around himself. I placed my hand over his nose and mouth and whispered comforting things to him whilst I suffocated him to death. He didn’t see me, he only felt and heard me. He died within minutes of oxygen deprivation and I kissed his life out of him and felt in paradise.
That’s when I knew that vampires don’t find peace. That’s when I knew that being a vampire I am truly eternal and that’s when I knew that nothing can be explained simply.

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Filed under Short Stories

Who am I?

Know me and the way I am,

I am the ocean,

I am the sands

 I am the sky

 I am the birds,

I am the beast

 I am all words.

I can love and I can hate,

I can kill and create,

I am something and I am not,

I am cold and I am hot.

I am life and I am death,

I am the wine,

I am the bread.

I am wet and I am dry,

I am the hills,

who am I?..…God!

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