Tag Archives: peace

I need to glow again

I’m dead inside

Like a robot I continue

I laugh and I cry, but it’s all a lie for I feel nothing at all inside

I pretend and I do it well

To you it must seem like Hell

But to me it’s a kind of peace

A kind of heaven

A place where my mind can leaven

A warm and quiet place

Where my mind is numb, but only for awhile

Whilst it heals and finds its pace once again

So I can once again smile

And feel it whole and great

Feel the love and elate

Whilst I spread the feeling around me

Covering all that I know

Melting all the hardness

Melting all the numbing snow

And fill the world with my presence

In an everlasting glow!

Leave a comment

Filed under poetry

Discrimination and heritage

Stop being ashamed of your past

Stop pretending it’s not real

Just because things are not happening still

Doesn’t make your history anymore unreal

Stop sitting back denying

Shouting, wailing and crying

About things you don’t like to know and hear

Because nothing will change who you are dear

My extensive family is very diverse in both races and religion; I have seen major battles of race identity and religious identity in my family that have been so fierce, members of my family have been permanently scarred as a result of other people’s denials or hatred. 

This poem is dedicated to families who have mixed race and religious members and are struggling to find their identity amongst each group within their family circle.  I know in my family alone, there is a lot of denial of the other races and religions existence within our kin, even to the extent that very dark coloured individuals will not recognise their non-white heritage and this is sad, especially as it is happening today, it is very sad.

I have a beautiful female cousin who wishes not to be named who struggles in college and getting a job simply because she is mixed race – she feels she is lucky that she is lighter than her siblings because she can get away with lying that she has Mediterranean roots, when she does this, society accepts her a little better – this is shocking that this still happens!  It is true she does have Mediterranean roots amongst her Caribbean and British roots, but it is a shame she feels she has to deny one or other to suit her social situation.

I have a total of nineteen mixed-race Caribbean cousins from 1st cousin to 3rd cousin generations who I still talk to, two of which wanted to join the police force and if anyone tells you that the British police force is diverse and fair, you should know right now that they are lying!  Because these two cousins of mine have never been able to be accepted as a member of the police force, so they had to make do as security guards for supermarkets and malls.

I have A Kenyan Hindu mixed race cousin who is severely disabled.

I have five Nigerian mixed cousins.

My great grandmother was born a Jew in Kensington, London and so her whole side are Jewish and we still stay in contact through genesreunited mail, there are fourth cousins who still talk to me who knew my mum growing up. 

My grandmother’s great grandfather was Vietnamese.

My grandmother’s great great grandmother was mixed Afro American and white. 

I have Romany ancestry apparently.

As well as Italian, Dutch, German, Bulgarian – my sister in law is Slovakian, my other sister in law is Half Irish.

My great grandpa is an Irish Catholic.

My Grandfather is a half Jewish English and half Catholic Welsh raised in Greenford London, when his mother told her family she is marrying a catholic and converting to his religion her half-sister threw her into the fireplace, so much for family love.

An aunt married a Turkish Muslim.

My cousin Julie fully converted to Islam aged eighteen and married a Lebanese, she now has four children.

In my past I very nearly had six mixed-race/religion relations myself, but I was threatened every time I got what mum called – “too close” with a man from another race.  I had dated a Sudanese mixed British man called Marvin who was absolutely sweet and doting.  I had dated a cute and very generous Jewish Israeli called Gideon, for me, as sweet as he was it was awkward that I was six inches taller than him.  I was extremely serious about a mixed Japanese and Italian British guy named Tony, I adored him with all my heart and he loved me so much that according to his mother he never had another girlfriend after me and he permanently migrated to Japan to teach martial arts and English – mum adored him too until she met his Japanese father, then she hit the roof about how deceptive I had been.  A Peruvian Indian mixed Spanish Catholic called Genebrardo, I lived with him for fourteen months and mum accepted this which was strange as she wouldn’t accept the others, yet he could offer me less than the others as far as marriage and commitment was concerned.  Next mum didn’t accept him either, even after Genebrardo; a Hindu Kenyan called Rakesh he was incredibly sweet and very family oriented and homely, he would have been a great father, but he is incredibly easily hen pecked by all the women in his life, including me when I was with him, he was very sad to stop dating me but we remain friends to this day (though its entirely chats through Facebook now), it is funny but if I had stayed in a relationship with him and married him I don’t think my submissive nature would still be around – his mother encouraged me to make demands of her lazy son, lol, he was never lazy poor thing never got a rest!  His mother loved me for my diversity, she was incredibly liberal and elderly, and she was absolutely delighted about my interest in all kinds of cuisine particularly cooking lessons from her.  I thought my mother would be pleased that he was born and raised within three streets of where she lived, but no, he was the nearest guy I ever dated.  {Things have been edited out that were here} The last one I was going to list, well I decided to delete this entry, because I have made contact with him again – Paul is fine with it, as we have said before, we are in an open relationship together.  But all you need to know is that I couldn’t take things further with this guy when I lived with my mother because he was from Egyptian heritage, but there is a lot of feeling there for one another, even today!  We made contact again because I found another family secret through GenesReunited.com I found I have Armenian Muslim ancestry too, on my mother’s mother side of the family – not so much as Romany, but according to research they lived as gypsies to flee one of the many genocides that happened in Armenia over the past few centuries.  I love finding this out actually, it means a lot, it means that my grandmother wasn’t a liar after all – not like how my mother portrayed her to be and that means so much to me!

It is not just race and religions that are mixed in my family, classes too.  The class factor is a huge thing for my mother; she can’t accept the upper middle and ancestral aristocracy that my father’s mother has.

Over a time, I will share more about my ancestry.  Is incredibly diverse and it is so frustrating that so many people are willing to deny their roots.  It was proven by a scientist a couple of years ago that everybody in the world is related to each other within twenty five generations, for me and my father’s maternal line, twenty five generations is around the 9th Century and this scientist says that anyone who was alive in the ninth Century AD are ancestors of everyone currently living in the world today.

Consequently my father’s maternal line is the furthest I am able to go back to, because of its royal links; I am descended with only seven daughter lines (removals I believe they are called) to Henry the 1st of France and Anne of Kiev therefore my ancestry there goes back a long way into 555AD to a man named Charibert of Hesbaye.  My mother’s paternal family is difficult to follow because my great grandfather was workhouse born and raised.

So, forgive me for upsetting you – if you believe mixed relations should never happen and you feel personally affronted by any other race, religion or class, just remember this – we are all cousins, you are hating on family that you don’t personally know, people who could benefit you and make you happy, if only you thought differently.

The amounts of amazing people you would deny to be your best friend, your carer, your support, your doctor, your nurse, your family, it is such a shame.  Because I do believe everybody in the world is my cousin.

I don’t share my ancestry for bragging rights – I share it to show the world we really are all related – I research to try and prove it, I am tired of mindless discrimination and family denying family enough to delete them from family trees and their families verbal memories, it is time to change the world!

 

1 Comment

Filed under poetry

Follow the path of the dove

I am floundering in a world that’s diverse
But the diversity is a mess
People hate each other even at their best
No one realises that they are the same
No one sees the similarities
It’s insane
It hurts my brain
I know religions and I study them all well
I follow none, on me; they do not cast their spell
But many are enchanted by their promises and their hopes
But I do not follow them; I see it worse than dope
And many do attack me, for my flimsy and secular ways
They think I don’t believe in god and that he creates
But I do, but I won’t name god and I won’t give him a sex
I do not know if they are male or female and I don’t know if our behaviour they even check
Do they care about our ways, whether we are good or if we’re bad?
Do they think there’s a code to life we must follow to be glad?
I don’t know and neither do you, so why do you follow texts?
Texts that are written by other men to control their nations via pretext
Oh I see the spell that you are under
I see it all too clear
But to tell you all, you won’t have it
At me you will snipe and jeer
Yet you will kill for your god and your ways
Though your texts they tell you don’t
You do so anyway because…?
You know not do you? You don’t!
So tell me why you’re so enchanted, when religion causes war?
When your own texts tell you not to and you do so because the law…
Why do you stand for murder when your beliefs are threatened so?
Why do you argue with your brother because he is different? Lo…
Can’t you see the mess you’re in? Can’t you see the spell?
Can’t you see it’s not just you, but other beliefs as well?
It is better not to label oneself, for the good of all mankind
It is better to live together in peace, be good and happy and kind
Keep away from the toxic faiths that turn you from other men
Turn away from those paths and then…
You will see such happy times, of peace and love and compassion
You will know then what heaven is, if you forget your violent passions
You cannot be a good spirit, if your heart is full of hate
You need to think another way, do not be afraid to cross that gate
I think you will see it is a blessed life, when you turn your hate into love
I think this is what you need to do to follow the path of the dove

1 Comment

Filed under poetry

British Landscapes

Willows lining the rivers, poplar lining the fields
A dream of British landscapes
A joy that overfills
Long and winding roads
And undulating fields and hills
Brings peace to mankind
And many summer thrills
When evening comes to settle
See the sunset in the sky
Dreaming of British landscapes
The beauty makes us sigh

Leave a comment

Filed under Reviews

I accept I am forgotten

One cloak to cover the world in night time, one solitary power

That creates all creatures, every plant and every flower

Every wish is his command, every thought and prayer

He loves all his creations, with his heart so full of care

Should we question his existence?

Do we notice his answers?

Can we see around us, the little things that dance in the basking rays of light?

Or are our minds clouded by the cloak of the night?

Some people will say it’s so, to those who don’t believe

But I have felt ignored like a forgotten flowers seed

I don’t know if he exists, his benevolence to me unknown

Sometimes I sit back and think religion I’ve outgrown

I have felt forsaken, by this elusive God

I have never known him; to me he’s just a sod

I feel he’s egotistical gaining praises every day

Sitting smugly on his throne whilst we just fade away

I don’t feel his warmth and love, yet begged for it often

All i needed to reign me in was a little bit of action

A little help here and there to get me away from abuse

But instead I grew to learn that his a god of no use

I’m sorry to offend you, those who do believe

But I have been neglected and that is why I grieve

I cannot show respect for a god who doesn’t care

I can only hate religion because in my life he wasn’t there

So is it my fault if it’s true, that I will go to Hell?

For since I was born I’ve felt from him dispelled.

Oh how preciously you hold him

High in great esteem

Whilst I sit and wait

To wake from this horrid dream

Called life

That ironically rhymes with strife

And that’s my existence too

Filled with violence that’s my review

I cannot surrender to more abuse

So I leave god be

And if he is truly kind

He’ll remember me and see

That when judgment day comes around

I will not go to hell

Because I don’t deserve it

Just release me from his care

And allow me to say farewell

As I become a free spirit

And leave the nightmare

I will wonder the heavens, searching for some love

Hoping to find protection and the peace loving dove

Though I’m not sure where it’ll be

And independence I will want

Away from godly and demonic taunts

Yes, lonely I will be, in the endless universal sea

But I will cope as I’ve always known it

Yes, I will not submit

No longer do I wait

I accept my fate

Truly

Unduly

I

Do

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under poetry

Be the peace on Earth

I am dark and I am light, we are all a mixture of these extremes

We are evil and we are good, is it worth denying this?

No one is perfect, how true is that?

One man’s poison is another man’s fat

We can’t all be the same

Trying to be, will drive us insane

What do you deem good and evil?

Does everyone agree?

I think you’ll find if you asked around only a third would see what you see

Maybe more, maybe less, maybe the same

But as I said before, striving for perfection will drive us insane

Do you agree with gay marriage?  How about the man down the road?

Do you agree there’s a tortuous hell, burning up bad souls?

Do you agree in polygamy or are you monogamously straying?

Do you beat the bad dog that is always baying?

There are many questions I want to ask, there’s so many different answers

Some of us want to be rich or ballerina dancers

As you can see, not all of us

Yet our perceptions we demand on others

Do we have that right to individually smother another into our way of thinking?

I think to do that would involve a lot of stinking!

Live in peace with your fellow man

Follow your own path

But don’t forget to allow him too, in his joys let him bath

No one knows what perfection is, until they’ve allowed all things, to live in harmony being themselves and without your tongues stings

With this poem I had hoped that it would give out a message to all people to allow individuality in others no matter whether you agree with it or not.  No one can understand what is truly good or truly bad, no one can know what perfection is, because we all have our own idea of perfect.

If we don’t like something, or someone, or a situation another person is in, is it really our concern?  If they are happy then leave them alone.  I know so many people who either bully or attack people they disagree with, you want peace on earth?  Be the peace on earth!

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under poetry