I tiptoed through the shadows, stalking him and he didn’t know I was there. Light-footed, my steps traced the line of his footsteps down the darkened pathway towards the car-park; gently I called to him, nothing more than a whisper in the breeze of the night and he turned towards me, he didn’t see me at first, but then, just like a cat, I stealthily approached him and made my excuses to ask for directions to keep his guard down.
He came to me and leaned towards me, nodding at the map in my hands and pointing helpfully, but all I was interested in was clenching my thirst and hunger and grabbing at him around his neck and pulling him close to me. After I was sure he was in my grasp I did so and dropping the map that was in my hands I bit into his neck for the warm sweet juices that flowed within. I barely drank away half of his life until we were disturbed by something brash, violent and fast, coming out from the car-park at us with beams of painful light. The old jeep of my enemy Neil Porter swerved up behind my victim and ran out towards me, I instantly tried to flee the scene but he had a new weapon, something I wasn’t aware he had – a crossbow and it hit into me through the back and into my heart and before I knew it I was standing next to my broken shell, seeing it bleeding to death alongside my victim and my enemy cleaning up both the mess he made and the mess I made.
I was confused at first; watching him packing the bodies away into the back of his jeep, washing the blood on the car-park floor and praying for our souls.
I don’t know where I went after that, I don’t know if spirits sleep, I just went and came back again, nothing filling the gaps; this went on for a long time, each time I would arrive at the scene I last left, each time I would arrive as hungry as the night before and each time I would vanish into the ether of the unknown again and again and again.
I would like to tell you about the first night that I came back.
I came back to the car-park, confused at the new night, wondering where I went and how I got here again. Why here? That question never got answered. I walked through the car-park and across the pedestrian crossing and into the park, I sat on a bench for a while, collecting my thoughts. A few people walked passed me, but no one seemed to be able to see me, someone nearly sat on me that’s how I know. When this happened I felt a deep loss, a sense I had lost my self somehow, I knew I wasn’t whole anymore, I saw that yesterday, but I had hoped that death would have been kinder to me somehow.
My hunger grew to an unbearable level, standing up from the bench I walked further into the park and had hoped to go through to the gates at the other end of the park that lead me to the town’s most night friendly amenities, but I was stopped by some peculiar young girl, twenty something, sniffing the air, smiling and dancing like she was chasing butterflies and coming straight towards me. Right into the jaws of death, so it seemed.
Confused I watched her with both bafflement and caution as she laughed and spoke out loud to herself “Oh the lovely smell” and reaching up into the air trying to catch something invisible even to me! The hunger in me made me retch; I tried to ignore it, because I was dead right? Dead people don’t need to eat do they? So why have I got this hunger? Is this my eternal punishment? Am I in Hell? But the pain got too much; I took a chance that perhaps I can still feed in my spectral form? So, as her head was stretched up looking high around her I put my arm around her waist and lunged into her throat but I couldn’t feed on her blood, her body writhed in agony in my grasp, screaming, but her blood wasn’t soothing my hunger. I held her whilst she screamed, cried and bleed to death. Then I knew, I saw her life leave her and as I sniffed for her suffering, I breathed a little of her into myself and my hunger lessened. Her spirit was too fast for me to catch once I realised what it was that I now needed. How beautiful the feeling of peace was, when I breathed in her soul.
Shortly after a man came into the park and saw the girl lying in a pool of blood, he ran to her to see if she was OK and tried to raise an alarm, but I went to him and my scent side-tracked him from his alarm call as he stopped in mid-sentence and started to sniff the air dreamily around himself. I placed my hand over his nose and mouth and whispered comforting things to him whilst I suffocated him to death. He didn’t see me, he only felt and heard me. He died within minutes of oxygen deprivation and I kissed his life out of him and felt in paradise.
That’s when I knew that vampires don’t find peace. That’s when I knew that being a vampire I am truly eternal and that’s when I knew that nothing can be explained simply.
Tag Archives: paradise
The madness known as blood lust
I cannot satisfy my blood lust anymore
It attacks me each and every day
In each and every way I want more
I cannot refuse it, but it doesn’t quench my thirst
So I carry on, my eternity is turning grey
I wish it would stop, to fate I implore
I’ve heard some of us go mad
The vampires of old have said
Drink blood till it’s cold and bad
A blood-lust can get you can get in your head
I can’t control it, it controls me
I can’t run away, from myself I can’t flee
I kill tirelessly, drinking, crying, and watching people dying because of me
I’m a vampire; I’ve gone mad I’ve bats in the belfry
I cannot stop the killing, someone please stop me
A vampire kills to survive, not more than three a week
Yet I keep on killing, I hunger for the last heart beat
That beautiful sound, that reason gets drowned in
The peace of the death of the victims I hold
The light in their eyes go out, this time is precious like gold
I am in heaven when they’re dead
For just a few moments
How I wish I could join them there forever
For I’m weary of heavens fragments
The vampires of old, they worry about me
They know I’ve lost my mind
But for now I cannot flee
Like an alcoholic I drink blood like wine
Drunk on the death of mortals
Endlessly seeking a portal
To end my existence
If you offered a way to end this
I’d take it in an instant
Filed under Poems M - O
home to paradise
I was floating above my shell last night
About to travel to the world of my dreams
But then I stopped
I don’t know why
It’s frustrating that I do not fly into that other realm
Maybe it’s because the idea overwhelms?
Oh is it real? I can’t tell
But I know it’s a place that’s put me under its spell
Maybe they’ll call me tonight or maybe not?
I hope so; to me it means a lot
Though I worry that it’s not all real
That a game is being played
I sometimes think that way and I shouldn’t
But I think I’m mentally frayed
Well one day I shall know
And if it’s real my happiness will overflow
But if it’s not, then my soul will die
Because for many years this place has made me cry
For I want to go home
I want to go home to my paradise
Filed under Poems G - I
paradise streams
I take the night by the hand and away in dreams I go
Following the footsteps of a forgotten road
Feeding my mind with wonders of the night
Dreaming of a land where my hopes come to light
I can’t see an ending to my story
My life of eternity is full of glory
I cannot be alone when I’ve come to paradise
And I can see that my heart’s wishes come to me in afterlife
I cannot be afraid when I have so many hands guiding me to the light
And when I’ve had enough of life I can say goodnight
Because you’re not alone, in a land where angels fly
You’re not alone, in a place you’ll never die
You’re not alone when you’re by your loved ones
And you’re not alone when you’re with your maker
Come on be a taker of this life, dream life
Dream away your world of sorrows
Maybe you’ll be in paradise tomorrow, and then you can say
Have faith
And know, what you’re talking about, go ahead and shout it out now you’re free
Come away with me
I long for you, to smother me in your glee
And I will hold your hand and take you to that land of dreams
Sweet dreams
Paradise streams
Is the theme
This song probably doesn’t make a lot of sense to people, but I hoped that some people viewed the song as a person whose falling into a dream world which they confused as heaven and is encouraging others around them to become more susceptible to imagination. But I guess the lyrics could be read wrong by many. I didn’t revise this song at all, so I am not expecting good reviews, it’s just a song I had to write down as it came as it kept repeating in my head driving me crazy, saying WRITE ME NOW!
Filed under Songs
avian male or angel
You may not be able to see this clearly as I wasn’t able to get the right lighting for it, but here it is, my avian male or as some would consider it, an angel.
Filed under Art By Me
god family beckons
I am expressing a desire to the universe
To make an end of this mortal curse
To free me away from mortal woes
By reciting to them this mournful prose
I beckon to them, my family
To open the gates so I can be free
I am a child of the gods, I’m one of them
May this mortality come to an end?
My wings expanding around my arms
I am soon to fly away from harms
May I look down upon you all?
And answer the prayers that my mortals call
Filed under Poems G - I
Has judgement come?
I remember a time where animals and birds were abundant
I remember frogs and toads swimming in small pools of water
I remember clean water
I remember birds flying in the sky and trees green and full of life
I remember
I remember
They have all gone now because of man
Because of the terror wars that struck
I knew it when it began that it would do nothing for man
But man just didn’t give a fuck
This world is empty now
It is rare to see life
People who survived that age, knows now what strife really is
Why did we do it, I always quiz
There was excitement this morning when I woke
I saw the heavy rain fall
And amongst the long straw like grass I heard the low sound of a croak
A frog was peeping out of a dead oak
My, how my energy changed
Is this a sign?
Has nature arranged an amendment?
I hope so, because that means I’ve passed the judgement
And soon it will all be over
And paradise will come
And I will be even more, struck dumb
For those who don’t understand this poem; this poem is written by my future self, if an apocalypse has ever happened and if I would ever receive a reprieve. So this poem is purely futuristic and fictional.
Filed under Poems G - I
Earth, unharmed, unemptied
The wind washes my face
The light blue sky is a reflection of natural beauty
The windswept sands, warm under foot and I hold my husband’s hand
Dreaming of a time where humans realize that appreciation and protection is all this earth needs
That and good deeds
I usher my little children into this world of paradise
I want them to feel the vibrancy of this world with all their senses
This they need
To feel at one with everything
We are not separate souls living within a separate soul
We are one soul
One planet with one life
Our life
There should be no separation
No difference
Only love
Respect
For each other and our world
That and good deeds
This is what we all need
Planet Earth
Unharmed
Unemptied
Filed under Poems D - F
mix of originality
I hunger to share with you songs and dreams
Although with some I may make you scream
Such horrors within, such joys too
Sometimes it seems I fool with you
Fantasy and horror, poetry and song
What a mix for you to read all nightlong
A tragedy here, a memory there
Will you take them?
Will you share?
Take your pick
I’ll let you choose
Which one to take and hold within you
My writing is for you to know
Something to embed within your soul
So carry them off and create your worlds
With a mixture of magic you’ve took from my pearls
Nothing is original, just differently said
Do you like the paradise that’s deep within my head?
Filed under About my work, Art By Me, Poems M - O