Though it’s grey and dark
My heart still beats
Slow with apathy
Slow with pain
I question will I love again?
Or is my heart still doomed?
I sit amongst the gloom
Soaked with tears
I’ve sat in this position for years
Wondering will my heart beat with the throes of spring
Or will it forever sting?
My tears have burned scars into my face
Will I ever be in a happy place?
Time will tell
Till then I am in a loveless Hell
Filed under poetry
The daffodils are deafening in the spring
The blackbirds sing their chorus on the wing
The trees strum their roots in time
Whilst the bumblebee hums their rhyme
Though you hear it not, mortal men and foe
For you are away from nature and cause it woe
You drown the fishes in your decay
You choke the air as you ride away
You do not see what you have done
You only blame the heat of the sun
You can’t feel responsible for all this pain
You only think of what you gain
What gold lines your pockets well
What will make your stomach swell
And though you have what you feel is good
You haven’t really thought and stood
Beside nature hand to Earth
And realise all that it is worth
Filed under poetry
My tears will oust the flames of Hell
For all those people who there dwell
I’m an anchoress for all you see
My tears will heal and set you free
My love burns fiercer than the fire
My love is pure and without desire
I will heal your aching hearts
The power of God is off the charts
For I know one thing is true
I know every one of you
And here my tears will wash away your pain
So that you are free again
And into heaven you will fly
This is why I pray and cry
Filed under poetry
I’m lost in pain
Drowned in thoughts
Twisted in knots
My heart churns like a sick stomach
Going insane with the loneliness
Swirling in a spell of bad blood
Spitting poisons and toxins till they flood
Because I had a dream
The dream scared me
Told me I can’t be free of being used
Cast away like an old shoe
Nobody can love someone like me
Because I’m ugly, can’t I see?
I’m stupid, immature and broken
Even worse, I’m stupid because I’ve spoken
About my fears though they might be wrong
But I can’t wait till I belong
With someone who loves me true and through
Someone to swim with me in the blue
Or better yet pick me up in a yacht
And sail off with me like a shot
I try to think of better things
But fears like that just ring and ring
Inside my head day and night
It makes me dribble words when I write
Lots of drivel on my blog
Creating a depressing catalogue
Of all my thoughts, hopes and fears
Things I will regret down the years
But I do try to calm myself
And put my feelings on a shelf
But the burden grows intense with weight
So writing this alleviates
Though it’s hard to stomach I know that
I am sorry for all the inner combat
I haven’t slept last night not much at all
Just sat up and regret the scrawls
But I need to get these things out there
Because those dreams did really scare!
Filed under poetry
I’m a jewel that shines real bright
If my conditions are really right
If you love me and cherish me too
You can see all the different things I’ll do
I love deep and I give my all
But that doesn’t mean that I’m a fool
I love hard and I care a lot
I don’t like love that’s cold then hot
I need to be the precious one
In your life and heart
Although I let you play at times
I know we’ll never part
Not if you love me true and through
That’s all I really want from you
To be your baby kind and sweet
To be your favourite kind of treat
To know that each and every day
I am yours in every single way
I won’t betray you
So don’t betray me
I am still open
So trust in me
I am not a short term girl
I am a precious sort of pearl
A rare find in this world of ours
I could sit and talk for hours
About what I am and what you mean to me
As long as you remain keen of me
You can play with others too
But just remember who is who
That you will always come home to me
Talk with freedom and honesty
I’ll obey you most of the time
But what is the purpose of my rhyme?
To let you know that I do care
That my earlier poem did quite scare
But I want you to know something right now
That as long as you make a solemn vow
To love me and keep me for all your days
I will honour you in all your ways
But treat me bad and break my heart
Be sure, that vengeance will be stark
Because I’m tired of the pain
Of loving again and again
Only to love in vain
And be alone once again
Giving love to tricksters who do not care
To be hurt again I could not bear
So many times I’ve been broken
Used again like a temporary token
Don’t I deserve to love and keep?
Do I deserve to cry and weep?
Feeding pride and ego too
For people who keep me in the blue
Why can’t I love someone?
Who will cherish me in return?
Someone who will shield me from the sun
So that I will never burn!
The love I give is deep and tense
For I do give my all
Anything you want my love
Just give me a call
But don’t cast me aside at all
Adore me all you can
Because I need husband
That is a protective sort of man
His pride and joy that would be me
Though submissive I’ll be free
Because I would know he loves me much
I will be tender with my touch
Because he loves me so
Because he will never let me go!
Filed under poetry
Who broke humanity with their pride?
Who fed us poisoned apples with lies?
Who keeps within the shadows dark?
Who waits till humanity has torn itself apart?
Who was thrown from the heavens for their disgrace?
Who scratches and tears at the human face?
Who is the one who causes illness and pain?
Do you need to be reminded again?
Who broke the dolls of God on Earth?
Who destroyed our home and hearth?
Who cares not for light and love?
Who is punished by God above?
Think well and hard on who this is
Because many of you won’t know
You think you do but you are wrong
About the one who brings us woe!
Filed under poetry
The ocean is a bowl full of the tears of God
It’s proof of why it’s so salty
He cries at all our sins and pains
He cries because we’re faulty
A perfectionist is our sweet God
He loves us all so deeply
Yet we look upon the Lord our God and worship him so cheaply
In our own time, maybe a minute or so
Or only turn to him when we’re in woe
Never praising the better things, but always cursing at him when it stings
Never understanding he is there for us
Whether good or bad he forgives and trusts
Never believing he is on our side
It’s hard to see blessings when you’re blurry eyed and in pride
Just take a moment and think and see
Is he at fault or is it we?
Filed under poetry
Shame is a feeling I am familiar with
Anger is a feeling I have lived with
Envy is a feeling I still experience and share with shame
As with pride it is the same
I know all too well the crying game
As sadness rips my heart again
And bitterness takes control of me
Whilst I look at others in their glee as they glance and then look down on me
I have seen the cunning face of those people who will disgrace
My name my status my love and care, they enjoy it I swear, I swear
But they don’t know the love I have
The forgiveness I give when they’re bad
The joy I have when they say they are sorry
But not many do so it is a quarry
That many do not like to go and so they continue spreading woe
Because they can’t stand to be so deep
They’d rather forget and stay asleep
To the pain they cause and the harm and shame
They keep on repeating again and again
Some people learn and others don’t
Because it’s too hard so they won’t
But I have seen some better men
Who have changed their ways and turned to Zen
I have faith that not all is bad
This is why I smile when I am sad
Filed under poetry
Jingle jangle
My hearts entangled
You’ve squeezed my heart and it’s in pain
Jingle jangle
My heart is mangled
I can’t bare this pain
Again
Now what are you doing to me?
My heart deserves to be free
Now what are you doing to me?
My heart feels the squeeze
Now what are you doing to me?
Are you breaking me down to feel good, sweet clown?
Or are you afraid of losing me and being down…
I can’t get your hand away from my heart
Your squeeze in and it feels like a dart
Jingle jangle my heart is mangled in your hands tonight
Jingle jangle my heart is entangled in your hands tonight
I can’t bare this fight
Filed under poetry
Is it enough to show the world at all?
That I’ve ascended but now I fall?
Into a chasm of pain
Being driven insane
Will I feel the same… again?
I might as well give up
Stop fighting
Because nothing is righting the way I need it go
Why can’t thing be just so?
Or is it me who won’t let go?
Oh no
I’ve tied, through the needles that bite
I’ve tried through the ashes that burned
I’ve tried through the icy waters
I’ve tried to turn
But things swing round back at me
Fighting me into tragedy
I have struggled with reality until I am through
I am done, I am tired and life’s won
This battle
What can I do?
But fight again, until the end
Until life has gone from me
Into the icy sea
And I have drowned in the pain
And I went insane
And I took my life
With a bloodied knife
And I’m not the same
Fighting spirit I was
I have given up… because…
I’ve died
Filed under poetry
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