Tag Archives: mystery

God has forbidden them!

Am I healing my wounds?

Not yet I need TLC

A little love and some kind words and someone to snuggle me!

I am tired of doing everything alone

All by myself, till I’ve turned to stone

Or at least my heart has turned to bone

It’s cold here in the dead zone

I can’t heal when there’s a hole

A big chunk is missing I am not whole

I can’t mend when I still bleed

And the eels eat more of me through greed

I can’t heal when my heart is dead

Gone and hopeless I lie in bed

Turning to rock and dust and history

How can you heal me now, it’s a mystery!

Though I try to love everyone who hates me

Even those who forsake me

I fight to stay alive some how

But each day the people drive in more nails

I can’t heal until they stop or someone loves me

Like a clot

Because I can’t do this all alone

All alone till I’m a crone

I can’t find my happy place

When I am shut away in disgrace

I can’t mend my stone cold heart

When others intend to always tear me apart

I can’t live till I have love

But I am easily disposed of like an old glove

I give my heart for them to burn it

As far as they are concerned, I am just a piece of shit

So I can’t heal though I’d like to try

Why do I bother?  Why oh why?

Would I be better off if I die?

And fly off to heaven in the sky?

I’ve heard there’s love there in the clouds

They wrap you up in it like a shroud

Nobody can harm you ever again

Because God had forbidden them

Amen

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Who’s energy is this?

Having lived a life of semi-isolation pre-covid, because of life circumstances, I have not developed in a usual manner for other people in society.

My life has effectively been similar to that of a yogi.

Why do I say that? 

Because I have spent a lot of my life in social isolation because of one reason or another and I have always had reflective thoughts on everything that happens to me.  My memory is very good when things happen to me, because they seldom happen to me, if you get my drift?

Religion, philosophy and self-improvement has always been a way of life for me, indeed, it is a lifestyle of sorts.  I am always soul searching, I meditate often though not in the usual manner and I spend a lot of time inside of myself.

This has made me become described by many people as a sensitive and highly empathetic being.

I come from a very spiritual and somewhat occultist background with my grandmother’s gypsy and witch heritage, so I have learned to be open regarding everything and I have inherited my gypsy ancestral ability for clairvoyance.

Not only this but working with angels has always been a major part of my families indoctrination and so I have always worked with my spirit guides or guardian angels as it were on a very close one to one level to such a degree, I do not need to meditate to hear them, like most practitioners do.

Because of all of this, I have become a person to which friends rely on for messages.  Some friends of mine in the past and even my exes have become a little afraid of my abilities because it is my lifestyle.  I never push my beliefs on anyone, but people find it really hard when I am unsurprised by events that have happened in their lives.

Some are so afraid that they feel invaded and have left my life; others kind of try to abuse my ability and constantly try to get more answers to their questions to their lives.

Why am I sharing all of this?

Because I am finding myself socialising more online these days with new people and there are certain people I can feel want to say something “BIG” to me, but I sense they are afraid of rejection.  I think it is only one person; though I can sense seven who have similar intentions to this “main” energy I can feel.

I can tell there are seven new people who want to be a part of my life in a major way, in my opinion there is only the one that connects well to me and what’s so strange about it is, they haven’t made themselves known to me yet.  But my spirits have told me, they know everything that they can about me and it’s not just through my blog either!

This particular person who connects to me really well is definitely American, but there are four Americans amongst the seven.

This particular person is begging for a miracle because there are circumstances in his life, which indicate that they cannot do what a regular guy can do, he has a lot of responsibilities and he is afraid of getting me caught up in it all and becoming stressed.  He is deeply concerned for my mental health and stability.

He is afraid I will reject him, because he feels I am afraid of the challenges he brings with him.

He is afraid that I will feel emotionally neglected because he is a very busy, constantly on the go kind of guy and along with this, he is afraid he might physically exhaust me as well.

I sense a lot of people in his life know about me and is trying to support him through this awkward emotional time for him.

I feel he is afraid that I will not be impressed by him or that I may feel he is a narcissist in some way if he does what he instinctively feels he should, regarding me.

He is afraid that his lifestyle or certain associations within his lifestyle may emotionally harm me in some way.

He is also unsure how I cope with change and he really doesn’t want to stress me out with a huge upheaval, I definitely see him as very caring and nurturing.

He is also afraid that he might be overreacting about me, that maybe when things calm down a little in his life he may not think the way he does about me.  He worries that I have become discovered by him at a vulnerable time in his life – and it is a vulnerable time for him.

But what I can sense about this person is that we are so much in tune with each other.  We have the same needs almost and we are perfectly balanced in that, what he wants from me, I have the ability to be naturally that for him and vice versa – we really do not need to change much of ourselves to be part of each other’s lives.

I do feel that they have hugely underestimated my stamina and endurance, not physically, but emotionally.  Yes, I do feel physically their lifestyle will be very tiring for me for a while, but he has the ability to improve my stamina over time.  But emotionally, we’ll be OK, more than OK in fact.

He is very sensitive and he needs someone who can respect his boundaries and his choices and he is a very private and security oriented person.  Maybe he has been hurt a lot in the past or perhaps he is afraid of being taken advantage of or something along those lines…

I am really good at keeping things to myself, I dislike gossip and I am rather security conscious myself – though I do put myself out there a lot online, but depending on my circumstances I can tighten things up for the right person very quickly.

I can train dogs; dogs make me feel more secure… sorry for going off on a tangent there.

I feel our only issue, if we were to have a relationship with one another is that he will definitely find me a little too childish at times and selfish, but he will endeavour to kind of reign that out of me over a time.  He likes the playfulness and creativity in me, but the over excitement, the squeals and hyperactivity he will feel he has to step in and calm me down a bit.

He does feel that other people’s opinions mean a lot to him, he is very image conscious but he is not shallow, this much I can feel from him and he is living in frustration that people expect him to be shallow for some reason?

I sense his biggest desire with me is to help me experience a life of fun, freedom and happiness.  This is important to him; he wants me to be happy and less tight, it means a lot to him.

He is also afraid that I will reject him because he is a very physical person and somewhat clingy.  I don’t mind this actually because I have been attention starved most of my life, I am actually afraid I would slow his life down because of how demanding I can be with snuggles and mooching around them.  I know I am a very physical person too and I don’t mean sex, though I have to admit my tantric energy is rarely turned off!

Whoever this guy is, my only concerns are… can you cope with a hyperactive squirrel type woman?  Who is always in a snuggle mood, that is super creative and loves to brainstorm her ideas with you all the time.  Can you cope with the idea that she hates contraception for herself personally and wants a large family even though she’s forty?  If you don’t want kids, can you really keep your hands to yourself until you do? 

Do you like dogs?  I need a dog in my life… though I’m sympathetic to allergies.

I prefer suburban areas or areas that have a lot of nature around us, like big gardens and trees lining the streets, if nothing else and local parks…

I have a 12yr old son who will not be coming with me in my new life, as he has already chosen to stay with his father because of his 300yr ancestry in this village – will you think less of me for honouring his choices?

Do you like Mediterranean and Asian food as that’s my main diet? Because my ancestry is predominantly Italian with some Sephardic Jewish and Greek roots too.

Are you easily jealous?  This could be a problem as I am super friendly with the whole world, likely to hug everyone and be super nice and even a little flirty at times, but I am loyal to a fault!

Can you take the reins if necessary as I need a lot of direction and I get anxious when I am involved too much in a passive relationship… basically, do you have the patience with a person who is constantly asking “is this ok” “is that ok”? Or is that going to annoy you, because I know it has bothered many exes in the past.  I am also apologetic as I always feel like I am doing things wrong!

Do you have the patience to help me become the best that I can be as an individual? 

How are you with positive people who try to motivate you and help you?  Do you allow others to help you?  As I am always trying to help people and some people get moody about it, I only need to be told gently – I am OK thank you.

Do you like the outdoors?  I love it!

I don’t sunbathe; drink (unless it’s a special occasion & limit myself to 3) or smoke and I don’t do night life with the ladies, like most women do.  I am more of a lunch in town or an afternoon tea at home or at friends’ homes type.

How snobby are you?  I like thrift stores and markets and antiques.

I have a huge problem with spending loads of money on something I know I can get at a bargain price down the road of the same quality – this was something a couple of my rich exes couldn’t get over and they were snobby about where they got things, regardless of the price.  Which made no sense to me, you know look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves and all that…

Besides I like needlecraft and thrift stores have some nice clothes to touch up and make your own designs with!

I don’t travel light and that is the understatement of the century!

My rabbit Ray means everything to me and if he can’t be part of your life, well… sniff* meanie!

I am a drama queen at times, especially if I feel emotionally neglected and I can sense this is the same for the person I am talking about here.  So that will be interesting… two queens in one home…

But I sense I am the submissive one in this energy.

I am really laying myself out there for an energy I don’t know is going to take the plunge with me… are you actually all energy and hot air with no real intention… or are you going to find your balls and talk to me?

Sorry to be blunt, but the suspense is killing me!

I can feel your energy so much it is distracting – when I try not to hone in on this energy I am seeing some weird signs everywhere that makes me refocus again.

222

444

Snake

Trees

11

Watches/pocket watches

Ibis

Flamingos

Peacocks

Dragonflies

Butterflies

Bubbles

Red with gold in blocks or tiles

Purple with teal usually seen with peacocks and shiny metallic blue and horses?

Crystals – jade in particular

Wheels

Crab

Aries signs

March for some weird reason is important, like 2023 March

A black and white cat

A ruby ring

Rose tinted glasses

Chakra alignments

The kabbalah

Adam & Eve references

Alpha and Omega references

It’s all just weird and I know it’s somehow connected to you… whoever you may be!

Why the blazes does my instinct tell me that when I meet you I am going to want to run away and scream and then come back to you like super calm and cool and like… yeah hi, how are you?

Nobody does that to me!

Who are you?

Really…

Whoever you are, in dream time we have a certain way of knowing if we’re the right people for each other. Its subtle, but we’ll know.

Thanks for reading!

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Looking for The Dream World

I’m looking for the dream world, a place where I can play

Whilst I am wide awake and living life that’s grey

I yearn for the dream world; I yearn for its truth

I’m searching for the dream world like a determined sleuth

I slither around corners, looking everywhere

I ride up and down funiculars, I will find it, I swear!

Tirelessly I rummage through boxes big and small

Through ottomans and cabinets, I have been through them all!

I am tired with my searching, my eyes are heavy now

I know that behind my eyes to the dream world I will sail

But that is not the point

My mission was quite clear

To find the dream world when awake, it has to be near

I will start again

Tomorrow when I wake

But right now I’m sleeping; do not wake me with a shake

I am happy in my dream world

Make no mistake

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Dream saviour

I walk through your dream world

Though you see me not

I am hidden by the forces that want to keep you from your lot

I try and try to tell you

That you are not alone

But I can’t seem to reach you

To try and bring you home

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Project – Steampunk 1

Steampunk 1

This project contains the following scenes, tropes and types of characters;

Travelling companions

A lost love

A ghost

Debunked scientific theories

Debunked superstitions

A search for truth

New found freedom

Comedy elements

Hot air Balloon

Space travel

Trio of main characters, primarily an early twenties female, late twenties male and a recent widower

Eccentric inventor

And a mystery solved

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Gardening & writing plans & books – oh my!

I have only written about one page towards a novel this week, because of sickness, but also because I am reading a little more than normal – mainly magazines based on gardening and permaculture.  I have no energy to garden yet and it is actually quite unlikely I will do much in the garden this year, but I am learning as much as I can whilst I am out of sorts.  I have reinjured my leg twice in the past two weeks and so mobility is now getting affected, I have an old break that never healed properly and the two separate injuries were heavily on this old break.

I have written approximately 5 pages towards the plans of a new novel for April’s NaNoWriMo as I do intend to participate this year.

I have also started writing a non-fiction book based on my current knowledge of gardening and self-sufficiency, hence the extra research too, I want to be thorough as I realised there is not enough of the kinds of information I want out there readily available and I wanted to make it easier for others like me to find.  So far I have written approximately 10 pages towards that.

All of this whilst sick with a chest infection, injured leg, ear infection and the extreme depression caused by the harassment I am getting from my neighbour, which is actually making me scared to go into my own back garden these days.

I am planning to start selling my artwork around the end of the year; there is a local opportunity for me to take up positions in the local art gallery and I am going to snap those up.  I won’t be ready until autumn.

I have also done four half done pieces of artwork this week, there are plans for 6 more, I am trying to do them fast, but they require a lot of layers and drying time so that can be frustrating!

I am also starting a junk journal for the first time.

Whilst I am updating you all, I may as well tell you about some of the books I have read this month.  I have read “Conversations with God” as a non-believer in mainstream religions; I found it refreshing, because to me, it proves all the instincts I had about God growing up are true and valid.  But I had all those ideas beaten out of me because my family can be quite radical about this sort of thing.

I have also read “The library of the dead by T.L Huchu” which I absolutely loved, it was about ghosts and it is a mystery, a sort of detective for the dead sort of supernatural thriller/fantasy.  I found some parts of the story very gory, but it was a fun read and I look forward to reading more from this series – as I think I heard it is a series now?

I read “The Spooks Apprentice” by Joseph Delaney, which I felt was not really suitable for children under the age of 14.  I found it too disturbing in some parts and my son and his entire classroom had this read to him during school lockdown online and most of the children were asking the teacher not to read it to them because of nightmares!  So there you go!  I enjoyed it, but I found it too quick paced.

I am currently reading two other books I got from the library, so I will update you all on those soon.  The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey and Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor!

So this is a condensed down and short as possible update for you all, hope you all are well and I will hope to post again in a few days’ time.

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The Mysterious Toothpicks

There has been a great mystery stirring in my house in the last few days. Several toothpicks have been discovered on the floor by my desk in the living room and on the bookshelves in my bedroom and over the floor. The number of available toothpicks has been decimated each time I observe their little jars; one jar resides in the living room at my desk, the other in the bedroom on the lower middle bookshelf and the third in the bathroom up high above the medicine cabinet. The bathroom toothpicks are unaffected in this mystery.
I have come to the conclusion since my husband and child’s denial on the matter, that the culprit must be tiny human beings approximately an inch tall that currently have a wartime emergency and are using the toothpicks to become phalanx mercenaries in some sort of odd tribal warfare.
That is a sensible conclusion, given the evidence.

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The Lovely Bones Review WITH SPOILERS

Spoiler Alert…

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold churns most reader’s stomachs whenever they pick up and read the first page, let alone chapter; it is purely because of the subject matter, a young girl barely in her teens is raped and murdered by her neighbour.  Although I did find the subject matter very difficult, I saw over all of that and continued to give the book a chance.  It is something outside of the genre I would usually read, but as I read on, I realised that actually, this book deserves to be noted as a fantasy novel rather than a crime one which most people assume it to be.

When you overcome the violence and the graphicness of this novel you will come to realise that it is a beautiful story about a young dead girl coming to terms with her own death and trying to let her living family go.  Until she lets them go in her heart, they cannot stop grieving, she is the key to how much they grieve or not – the more she clings onto the living the less likely they are to heal quickly from their loss of her.

This is a lesson that Susie Salmon is learning throughout the entire novel, as well as realising that her little experience of heaven is only the beginning of what is beyond that mysterious door she keeps seeing.  It is a story about Susie’s observations of the living, including the life of her murderer Mr. Harvey and her adventures in the limbo heaven with other murdered victims.  How they are trying to use their imagination to create a world in which they want to be in, whilst dead.

The mysterious door can only be opened to Susie once she decides to move on and try not to think and worry too much about the living, when the door is opened, she can in effect find peace.  Perhaps she gets reincarnated?  Perhaps she goes to true heaven?  Nobody knows, but it would be lovely to think of it in such terms.  That is why I find the book is beautiful.  Forget the violence; forget the sordidness, just read the book to the end.  It is a treasure; it is in my top ten favourites of all time.  It is very touching and there is justice in this book, though it is very obscure and indirect.

 

 

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The Watch

I do not claim any rights to this image.

What fantasy fan would be complete without venturing into the genres of science fiction, comedy and horror occasionally?
As a Ben Stiller fan, I wasn’t too disappointed with this movie although it’s not his finest moment, but it was very funny nonetheless. Ben Stiller’s character Evan is the solid citizen of a small town in Ohio. Evan worked as the manager of Costco supermarket and one of his employees got murdered mysteriously one night whilst on security duty. Evan being very close to his employees felt that he must do something about it, so he sets up a neighbourhood watch group with which only three other local men became a member (all oddballs in some way or other).
Things turned out pretty strange for Evan and his group members as they accidentally ran something gooey over, they found a strange metallic sphere and took it home with them having no inclination that it was other worldly.
Strange people start entering the groups lives, particularly Bob’s daughters life and things get out of hand – alien sightings happen, more murders and the group becomes more and more determined to make the town safe.
The movie isn’t without its drama and ups and downs despite it being mostly a comedy, foul language rages rampant in this movie with plenty of sexual innuendos, a mass alien shoot up and twists in the plot.
By and large it was a good, if somewhat weird movie that had a very “scary movie” feel to it.

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The moon is fat tonight

The moon is fat and shines so bright in the middle of the night.

It only happens once a month, but its still a thrill to see,  it holds much to fear because of mystery

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