Tag Archives: madness

Karmic Judgement

A blood which is what true generational witches refer to themselves as, not these new-fangled pagan revivalists; they can’t be a blood witch, because their magical blood is not from true ancient stock!

I am not being a Harry Potter purest here, it’s a matter of fact.

My family has had witchcraft in the blood for hundreds of years, my ancestors were the cousins of the Howe’s and Bishop’ of the Salem witch trials, we are also cousins of Crowley.

I have a proud heritage and I used to be an active witch, very active.

I am only active again when I need to help boost blessings for people, heal people or defend myself from idiots who think that they can bust me spiritually as well as physically and mentally!

A true blood witch always knows when someone has attempted to put a spell on them or their family, because they get flash visions.  Sometimes it surprises you who is doing things, because weirdly enough the people who flash into your mind are unknown to you – they are strangers who for some reason wishes to affect your life in some way – usually because of jealousy or getting even because you are associated in a friendly manner with someone they hate or love.

When you can sense that someone has done this to you, you know their intentions of what they want to do to you, it’s very clear in your flash vision.  What isn’t clear is the why… you have to delve for that either in astral projection or asking spirits guides or tarot cards.

This can happen to me quite regularly, there are a bunch of witches from my past who hate me for some reason or another and so I often get them doing things or trying.

But in the past four days I have sensed two spells on me… 1 is oddly loving… the other is quite evil, one from a man and one from a woman…

The one from the woman is evil, not only that but she is a coward as she paid someone to do it – someone very weak actually – all of this was seen in my vision, told to me by my very protective spirits.

According to spirits, she sees me as competition… never met her, don’t know her and don’t want to!

She’s taking up weight training by all accounts to compete with me and she is starting to try and wear clothing which she knows I apparently like too.

Her spell is to affect the quality of my looks, my teeth, in fact for me to lose them and my alopecia was getting better, but it’s some back a bit in the past couple of day and apparently it’s due to this woman!  Also, my skin has been getting acne its something I’ve never had a problem with even as a teen – my skin has always been good… so it all ties in I think… thankfully I haven’t lost any teeth as I stopped her spell flow ASAP.

What I found weird was, when I rebound the spell there was a huge electric shock through my hand and the noise it made actually made my son Henry turn around and ask what was that noise mama? So that spell was meant to be as vicious as you can get!

So, when this happens you imagine a protective barrier around you, golden, you say a chant to send the spell away from you, but it always goes back to the sender or intender, if the person didn’t do the spell themselves both the practitioner who she hired and herself will feel the effects of what they want to do to me but it would be a lot worse for them!

So your chant must be personal to you. My chant is handed down from generation to generation, I won’t give you the charm as it shouldn’t leave family ears.

But it would be something like this…

Round about the circles bound, evil sink into the ground, you tried to curse me and harm my life, it rebounds to you thrice!

You can’t play tennis with this sort of thing – the originator of this spiritual war risks losing her magical power for a while, not always but sometimes the spirits will block you from harming others, sometimes permanently!

If I didn’t send it back, I would become ill or whatever she intended.  So it’s a matter of self-defence!

Basically this person is going to be very ugly in about 3yrs time; it will happen slowly like a disease… it always does!  For some reason when someone is that vicious towards another witch, though the witch sends the badness away from her to protect herself and may do so with forgiveness and love for the idiot who tried to harm her – evil to that degree always turns into a karmic cancer!

There is nothing for the victim witch to do about that, it’s out of her hands… it’s in the hands of the cosmos! 

Know thy enemy is strong advice when you want to mess with magick… make sure she’s not a witch basically… well not a real one!

As for the person who did a loving spell to me… why?  I didn’t know you were interested in me until I saw that vision and oh my goodness… I know exactly who you are!

Talk to a woman first at least!

Do you know you could have made a dangerous obsession in a person if you try to put a love spell on someone you don’t even know likes you…?

Very dangerous… people have been driven mad to jealous murder because of people like you doing things like that!

Magick requires responsible thought and actions and should never be done in heightened emotional states!

I like you and it is a shame you are considering this!  Though maybe your magick might involve removing obstacles that you think are in your way?  Be careful if you choose to do that one too… you may inadvertently kill someone or ruin someone’s life! 

I was trained in witchcraft by my grandma from the age of 7yrs – I am a blood witch, it’s in my genetics, in my blood, I have been practising for 33yrs… honestly… don’t try to fuck me up spiritually – my spirit team are ferocious enough, without me having to rebound whatever shit you throw at me!

Yes, go ahead… think I am a crazy woman… go on…

Let’s see how crazy you think I am in 3yrs!

Lots of love and healing is coming your way, whether you deserve it or not… I am not the karmic judge!

Thanks for reading!

P.S what’s weird is my favourite oracle pack pulled out agrimony as the first card when I asked about problems occurring in my life today – agrimony is a plant that protects you from witchcraft and hexes.

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Be silent, be silent

 

Be silent, be silent you drive me mad

Says my enemies to me in their mind that’s bad

Be quiet, be quiet they shout and plea

In their minds every day, directed at me

Yet I still talk, I still move on

I still continue because I grow strong

I won’t quit and I won’t stop

Not until their minds go POP!

Until they realise it isn’t me

It is their selves the silly things

They focused on me so much they ache

And so a spell they do create

Against me, their obsession and they can’t see

That the one who tortures them isn’t me

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I’m not your therapy

Yes I am insane, insane because lots of people have bashed my brains

They tried to mould me to be like them, to control me and hold the reins

I don’t take it any more, this is why I rant

I know the fantasy in this blog is becoming more and more scant

But I need to release this strain of mine

Because my brain I need to find

I need to release it to the wind

I need to be free and untinned

I need to go my own way, not lean upon vagrant strays

I can’t stand upon my own two feet, when I am tying knots with those who deceit

I can’t be me when I am trying to be, something YOU expect of me

I’m not what you want, you see

I am not here for your therapy

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Bog Monster

Creeping out the boggy marshes
Gurgling its cries of death
See its eyes a glowing
See its fangs and feel its breath
Its hair is made of algae
It’s skin as slimy as a frog
See it creeping towards you
The monster of the bog
Though you are paralysed in fear
Though your heart tells you to flee
Though your chest is thumping hard
You can only stand and see
Death creeping closer to you and me
A little sigh of triumph comes from its muddy lips
It touches your legs so softly with its iron fingertips
Its grip gets tighter and tighter
Your voice makes desperate calls
But it’s too late it has you
And into the bog you’re pulled
Though the monster has spared your friend
The spell is broken down
Your friend runs towards the bog to save you
But they’re too late, you’ve drowned
Their cries are heard throughout the night
The monster has taken your life
Your friend sits at the bank of the bog mourning
Stabs at the bog with his knife
But they don’t find the monster in there
It has gone to the deeper depths of Hell
It has gone down there as soon as it had got you
And taken you as well
Your friend he threw himself into madness
No one believed his story
No one ever will, you know
The ending was far too gory
Instead they locked him up and away
Never to see the light of day
And always it is this way
With the monster of the bog
And now this story is said and done
And now you will carry on with your life
As though this story was never true
And of course, you don’t believe in after life
But his ghost is watching from that bog
To ward off others just like you
Keep away from this monster’s bog
Because the stories of course are true

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17th October 2016 – wanderings

Grey stone lay beneath my feet.  My feet are cold and bare as the fog gently surrounds me in the frosty night.  I look on in the patchy darkness, but my vision is obscured by the fog more and more.  I settle myself down upon a rock by the big oak tree and I ponder life and my existence. 

I miss you more and more. 

Your death has made me hollow and changed me in a way that I don’t understand.  People think that I am strange; I certainly have developed strange habits.  I don’t take mourning you easily.

People tell me that as time goes by the loss of you will hurt less, or at least I’d learn to cope.  But at the moment all I can think of is that it was only last week I saw you last, each day that goes on is more and more torture for me to bear, I can’t imagine not seeing you for a month, a year, a decade, half a century or however long I shall live.

Perhaps my new found madness shall kill me?  If not that then the cold will.

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Horror and mental illness

One or two of my poems have been considered to be short stories in my mind by me, I thought this was enough – however my husband and a friend of mine mentioned to me yesterday that some of my poems are moreish and therefore they feel that I should work on making them into a larger story preferably novel sized piece.

My husband is quite persistent about two of the poems I’ve agreed would make a better larger story, therefore he is straddling me to the grindstone and making me get to work on them because I’ve been procrastinating on my leprechaun comedy for eleven years now and I am losing enthusiasm for it.

I’ve been advised by a friend too, that my fantasy work is good, but my horror is better as I seem to write more freely and graphically, which shows that this is where my genre should be. Funny enough I originally was a horror writer, I only entered the realms of fantasy within the last decade in order to get a wider audience and I was mistaken with the idea that I would be more free to do my own thing – in horror you can do that, in most other genres there does seem to be a general protocol.

I tend to read fantasy and horror but usually horror prevails as a reading choice for me, so therefore I know that I am more experienced with horror; I also have a sadistic, black sense of humour and a lust for shocking people; which I guess makes the genre perfect for me.

I know a lot of people are getting tired of vampires but, they are my favoured creature. However, I do love writing about mental illness (considering I have experience there too) and so writing about the horrors of the mind comes easy for me – particularly if it is regarding cruelty and isolation.

The novel I am attempting to write whilst I put my leprechaun comedy on hold is based around the self-harming and mental illness of a young girl who lives within an asylum and how she got there and why, the book will concentrate on the horrors of the occult, social services, abuse and isolation. There is more to the story, but I am not going to give things away, there would be no fun in that now would there?

So forgive me if the blog is neglected for a while, my husband really wants this story written and I am looking at my previous work with fresher eyes and I am very enthusiastic about this one. Who knows, perhaps it will become finished enough for me to have the confidence to post it up for YouWriteOn.com?

Ciao for now.

 

 

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Life becomes a parody

When madness steps into your life, there is no escape for you

Life becomes a parody of which you are in full in tune

Nobody can understand the way you talk and move

Nobody is sure of your behaviour of which they disapprove

Complacently you play along to their supposed normalities

But whatever you do for others, it still leaves them ill at ease

To which there is no point you see, to become like them at all

For nobody in reality is very sane at all

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Merry Christmas welcome to my world

Merry, merry Christmas

Merry, merry Christmas

Happy, happy New Year

Happy, happy New Year

It’s festive time

It’s festive time

It’s Christmas time

Merry Christmas, welcome to my world

Snow and ice, sugary spice

And having a good time

Bring me the red wine

And sing in time

To the very merry song

We’ll dance and play and sing all day

Dingy, dingy, ding dang dong

Hear children dance around a snowman, singing this very song

Did you hear that Santa came, golly what a bing bang bong

On his sleigh so high, he flew right by

Dropping presents through

Our chimney tops, golly what a hoo ha hoo

Sing along, sing along, sing along to this Christmas song

Sing along, sing along, sing along to this Christmas song

Merry, merry Christmas

Merry, merry Christmas

Happy, happy New Year

Happy, happy New Year

Merry, merry Christmas

Merry, merry Christmas

Happy, happy New Year

Happy, happy New Year

Merry, merry Christmas

Merry, merry Christmas

Happy, happy New Year

Happy, happy New Year

It’s festive time

It’s festive time

It’s Christmas time

Merry Christmas, welcome to my world

This song I thought was very Christmassy but also very annoying and I wouldn’t blame anyone for hating it if it ever got out into the music industry – it’s like crazy frog meets the Brady bunch.  But I liked how it sounded in my head, but even to me its creator it became grating.

In fact, so much so I was laughing hysterically through the last few verses and grinning like I belong in an asylum.  Hoped you liked it better than me *grins*.

 

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welcome to my golden palace

I am leaving this sphere, going home to my dreams

I am going back to my reality, where my happiness streams

I have nothing to fear, for everything’s mine

I’m going to a place where the sun always shines

Yeah, I’m free

To roam as I please

Nothing will harm me; fear has no place to go

Everything’s to my expectations, the world’s my chateau

I can deny your entry if you cause me pain

I will not allow anybody to drive me insane

Here I’m free

I’m free, to do as I really want to and please

Serve me now, drink from my chalice

Welcome to my golden palace

This is my world of dreams

Where everything is as I royally deem

Drink my cup and bathe in the light

Why don’t you lay with me and bask in sunlight?

I am watching your world through half opened eyes

And I can’t believe, no can’t believe the pain and the lies

Why do you bask in hate and bask in lust and bask in coldness?

Why do you do nothing and act like you care less?

I believe in something more, than your impetuous plans

Oh come to me, yes come to me, and oh please hold my hand

Come bask in my light boy

Come into my arms and be free from the horrid noise of hate and pain

Come to me, come to me, come to my love again

I will show you peace and love, I’m your dove, please don’t go insane

Touch me, kiss me over again, and let me mend your broken dreams

I need to heal your aching wounds and please always listen to me

And not your horrid inner screams

Just touch me now and I will take you far away, you can be redeemed

I am leaving this sphere, going home to my dreams

I am going back to my reality, where my happiness streams

I have nothing to fear, for everything’s mine

I’m going to a place where the sun always shines

Yeah, I’m free

To roam as I please

Nothing will harm me; fear has no place to go

Everything’s to my expectations, the world’s my chateau

I can deny your entry if you cause me pain

I will not allow anybody to drive me insane

Here I’m free

I’m free, to do as I really want to and please

Serve me now, drink from my chalice

Welcome to my golden palace

This is my world of dreams

The words came into my head faster than I could type, this was literally done in less than five minutes; so I apologize if to some people this song makes no sense. 

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human mask

They are whispering cryptic messages in my ear

They tell me of promises

I treasure their words and I hold them dear

But are they real?  I am insane, I fear

 

I’m growing into something different

Something not of this world

I’ve never been human they say

Slowly their secrets unfurl

 

The unfurling isn’t quick enough

I feel I’m quite unique

But unless I’ve found the proof about it

My futures looking bleak

 

What am I?  I whisper back to them

But they do not yet reply

They just tell me of the things I’m to do right here

Their evasiveness makes me cry

 

I’m living in two different worlds

Yet I am trapped in one

Confused of what’s real or not

This isn’t at all fun

 

How I wonder if I’ll die in this shell or not?

How often I sit back and think if all this knowledge is rot

Do I have a magic self, that’s hiding in mortal light?

Or am I suffering from madness, a devil’s toy and delight?

 

Maybe I won’t ever know

Maybe I’ll be forgotten

But if all these things are not really real

Then that is flaming rotten

 

I don’t feel at home here on earth, not at all

I need to go home to the place I belong

And then I will feel tall

 

I need this magic to stay alive, I need that very life

For I cannot cope living within in a mask, my fake human life causes me strife

And the reality of madness cuts into me like several knives

I need my magic life

 

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