I am creating a writer’s journal that is private and sending it to my cloud. It is all about my thought processes throughout all my creative ventures and things that occur because of it.
I do want to be a writer and get published and I know that doesn’t seem like a reality right now in my life, due to the fact that since September I have probably written towards my novels no more than perhaps six times due to extreme depression.
But the dream is still there, to be a writer that is published.
I am trying to focus my thoughts and ignore the crap going on in my life so I can get on with it, because not writing my stories is like someone putting a chisel to my temples… its torture basically.
I thought, all the best creatives in the world keep a diary don’t they? Well, why don’t I? But this one with the intention of keeping it for future historians is that conceited of me? Is that really a bad thing?
I like to think that it’s appreciated rather than judged as a form of egotism.
There are things in the diary that won’t be published until I am dead, because it will reveal problems I have undergone to maintain my individuality and it will talk about people who have literally stolen ideas from me because I talked too much in my earlier years as a writer because of the advice of “how to write” books.
It won’t just focus on my writing though, it will focus on my whole being as a creative; stories, poems, art, music, everything that inspired creation in me and had a part in the works I’ve done. I will talk about all my projects, even those that might never get published. Those that might never get published will always be stored away somewhere, so that in the future, perhaps someone will publish them because they want them, because they want more of me.
Again, not to be conceited, but I have to think about how much people want these things and they will and they do this thing with other posthumous authors and creatives, so why should I be any different? It’s just forward thinking that’s all. We often get pent up with all the process of just being ourselves we forget the larger picture, we presume we are not good enough to get to that stage where we become historical, but who are we to judge in the end?
Nobody thinks highly of themselves enough to assist historians do they? Some do, but not many and it is a frustrating thing for historians. I have a love for history and I have a love for certain authors of which I wanted to know more on a deeper level but they felt that they were being conceited if they spoke about themselves a lot – humble creatures really. I am too, but I understand people and the things they yearn as I am a person too.
So that is what I am doing. I am, from today, creating a creative diary about my writing, its processes, where I got inspiration from, my rivals, my thieves, everything about my creations is going to be documented. If nothing else it will make me write more than I do, because it could be used as a warm up to writing instead of playing online games or ranting in my 750words.com
I will enjoy it.
Thanks for reading…