Tag Archives: goal

A silly dream

One thing I didn’t realise or remember about having an Alexa Echo Dot thingy, is that I can get to hear my kindle books on it, spoken aloud by Alexa herself!  I am excited about that because my Kindle stopped working around two years ago I had loads of books on it, downloaded a load of free classic literature.

Today I sat through and heard the first three chapters of The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole, for the first time – it’s quite a good read actually.  I have wanted to read that story for years!

I can totally understand why so many classic horror novelists have owed their inspiration to it!

Because of the book and because of the music, I have found myself daydreaming about my vampires again – yes I know there are no vampires in the story, but still, the thought is there.

The music I have been listening today have been my vampire playlist, but I have started to create a new vampire playlist now, one that concentrates mostly on classical music because of the time period I am thinking about.

My music tastes are more than just a little bit eclectic; I do in fact listen to classical music about half the time actually and my paternal family has always been into classical music and that side of the family has always been musical and involved with entertainment in some manner of speaking.

I for example, was classically trained in opera as a young child, until my mum got fed up forking out the money for something she didn’t find productive, my dad and his family were very distressed at her stopping this.

I love a lot of different types of musical interests, Jazz, soul, rock and alternative with classical or classical fusion and world music.  I have never been to a music concert before, unless you include local classical orchestra that is and nobody really wants to hear that I have gone to those, because they expect you to say some cooler like a rock band or something.

But I have always been a huge fan of Vivaldi, George Gershwin, Beethoven, Vaughn Williams and Tchaikovsky to name but a few.  I even like modern classical from John Williams, Alan Silvestre and Brad Fiedel which are movie composers.

I am one of these strange people that when she watches a movie, she lets the whole thing consume her – the visuals, the acting, the audio – background music, it is all taken in by me.  I am not happy to just watch a movie and enjoy it; I like to know where that music came from in scene whatever and well that’s just me, I am a geek, what can I say?

Since I was very small I had loads of dreams about being some kind of composer myself, lyricist, but also a director or something along those lines.  But the thing is I could never narrow down what I wanted to focus on, because I like the whole caboodle. 

I want to be an artist, I want to do the music, I want to design the costumes, I want to help the props, I want to write songs, I want to write the stories and for a good few years as a child I used to roleplay being a radio DJ too!

But because I can’t focus which one, I never threw myself into it, because I would literally run around trying to do the whole thing!

I have so many interests and I let a project consume me, I remember when I was in college I was part of an amateur dramatics group and I couldn’t choose my focus and my friends loved me, but found my lack of focus on one or two aspects very frustrating and distracting!

They loved my dedication but would often cry into their hands about “Tina, please just focus”!

Most of them pushed me into the acting, writing or prop making as they felt those things were my best strengths.  But I wasn’t keen on the acting, though they kept trying to steer me into it as they believed I was amazing.  But I didn’t want that, I knew that, I knew that I didn’t want that part of it, but I wanted everything else, lol.

In the last few weeks of being in that group, I was primarily writer and they enjoyed it – but then they started to try and shift my genre focus.   “You do better horror and psychological thrillers than anything else” they said.

By that time I knew my time was up, because my mum didn’t like me doing this in my spare time after college, she wanted me home in the evenings and didn’t like how many friends I was making and didn’t like me leaving the college to go into London with my friends to do things like street miming.

I love mime artists.

Recently I have new desires and I am not taking myself seriously over it, because I am starting way too late.

This new desire is one of the reasons why I am losing weight and trying to get good fitness levels back.  I want to join an adult beginner’s gymnastics class, as silly as that sounds.

Because my whole life I have wanted to do something and I had never confessed it to anyone because of how stupid it is!

I am one of these people who want to run away with the circus, kind of – but not quite!

Since I was a child I would often find myself listening to classical music and imagining myself as a circus acrobat, primarily trapeze, trampolines or tight rope walking.  I often saw myself in the circus glamour and doing my stuff – but more recently, as silly as it sounds, I have thought of myself doing this in a comedy sketch form.  A clown in fact, but I am not interested in any circus.  I am inspired by the Cirque Du Soleil.

I know it will take me around fifteen years to get to the standard they would hire, so this is why I am not taking myself seriously.

It’s just a stupid big dream of mine.

I have even thought about the clown design I would have for myself.

I don’t want it as a long term career, I just want to do my show on tour for a year and then give up, because it is something I would have worked hard to do and ticked off my bucket list – one of the BIG dream tick offs!

But as I said, I don’t think it will ever happen and it is just a silly dream after all, I can barely walk two miles without coming to my knees right now – still recovering from eight years of bedbound sickness, this is why I am not taking it seriously.

But I am totally in love with The Cirque Du Soleil.

I sent an email to a local disabled adult beginners gymnastics tutor today, she said twenty hours a week for ten to fifteen years and I could do my dream and no, forty years old is not too old to be accomplished in that!

There are many silly dreams I don’t share.

Thanks for reading!

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Happiness & Productivity

I have had some rude droplets of comments from people in my social media DMs over the past few weeks about how comes, if I am doing nothing but being bedbound, have I not actually had a book published yet?

There are many factors actually, one of which is that I have chosen not to approach an agent or a publisher just yet because I am reluctant to send my current projects unless I am half way through its second book or third book– because half of my current projects are series.  This is to cut down pressure for me when I do get published as I know how quickly the publishing industry likes to move when they think they are onto a good thing.  I am not being cocky and thinking I am a good thing, I just like being prepared, I am a former Girl Guide remember!

The other thing is that, I was bedbound because I was sick, remember?  Not because I like laying down all the while doing nothing!

By sick I don’t mean just lying down tired and being all BLEURGH and woe is me!  I mean actually being sick, with continuously streaming head colds, continuous bouts of coughing and sneezing, where even reading a book for more than five minutes is often disturbed with my attempt at mucus removal!  So when you consider that, how can I continuously type without being jerked out of my focus because of yet another round of ten sneezes or another asthma attack bought on by a lengthy coughing fit?

This was my life right up until Easter 2022, because I learned half of my symptoms were bought on by food allergies I didn’t know I had.  I thought my problems were gluten, eggs and lactose and for a while some symptoms were relieved, but it relieved hugely when I learned and realised it was soy/soya I have a massive problem with – so I did an elimination diet and that helped tremendously!

However, I have airborne allergies too, so I often have sniffles still.  Not as bad as before Easter I grant you and since Easter in fact I have been a lot more productive in doing my blog than ever before!

Reading my blog with an unbroken streak of 246 days of posting is testament to that, you’ve been reading me daily for that length of time!  So you can more or less see, that there is a vast improvement in my health because I am able to do that!

However, as for my stories I was producing very good content and writing a lot per day until a family member died a few months back and the families’ mental health took a turn for the worse, I have had a break in a long term relationship and a bunch of other things, including insomnia has got in the way.  General life stuff, it happens to us all!

I don’t need to explain myself to you, other than tell you – I write when I can.  My ultimate goal in life is to find happiness, love and peace – it is not my biggest goal to become published, like you may think!  It’s in my top five goals, but it is not my ultimate goal!

Writing is not what drives me in life day to day.  I love writing, don’t get me wrong, but not enough to set my other things aside.

My focus is not purely writing, my focus is purely on finding happiness, love and peace at last!

Everything else can come after that!  Happiness and love are my main goals in life, as well as health on all levels.

If I am not producing what you think is enough material for you to feast your eyes upon, you will understand that for me, I have other things on my mind right now.  When I want to write, I will and I will do so a lot!

But at the moment I am busy honing in skills, getting myself together, preparing myself for something big in my personal life – something that I can be proud of and happy with.  I have never really been career focused, always personal happiness and family first.

I have differences of opinion to some of you, to some of you who have criticised me in my DMs you need to understand that your goals and my goals are vastly different – to you, your writing is everything and everything else is secondary to you – for me, happiness and family matters are my main focus.

Don’t judge me.

Stop with the “I am better than you because I am more focused” crap, because to me it is crap, because you have chosen to misunderstand me and my entire life by judging me as being the same as you!

I am not.

I am me.

I am The Tardy Creative – realise that as my brand, it’s my name for a reason!

Thank you for reading!

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Ugh, flu season earlier than expected by 2 weeks

Woke up today feeling really ill, yes the flu season is upon us but it hit me earlier than I expected, anyway, I forced myself, literally forced myself to write for NaNoWriMo and 750words.com today, the internet has been tetchy off and on today where I thought for a long time that I won’t be able to add any updates to any website too, so I really did feel the fates were against me today, but I pushed through willy nilly and I managed to do both my 750words and 2191 words towards NaNoWriMo – take that, negative vibes!

According to the NaNoWriMo website, if I continue to write as much as I am doing, I should be finished by the 21st November, now how’s that?

Hope things don’t get worse!

 

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Words, NaNoWriMo and more…

A pixabay image

Despite what I had promised myself last year, I am trying to do NaNoWriMo again this year – why did I make this decision?  Simple, in the past six weeks I have been consistently writing daily my 750 words along with a random two thousand other words (mostly not towards a novel). 

To those who are not in the know, you may be thinking “What are 750 words”?  Well, 750 words should be daily written and is an idea based on Julia Cameron’s activities for helping your inner creativity to flow.  This idea can be found in a book she wrote called “The Artist Way”.  There is a website to help you track these daily words, Julia doesn’t specify 750 words, she specifies three pages of long hand written work to be done in the morning, I don’t do long hand so I decided to join this website called 750words.com which worked out that three pages of long hand writing averages to around 750 words per day.

So every day I try to accomplish 750 words from the website, plus adding to my novel and doing poetry, writing songs and research papers for my novels and short stories.  All in all I average around three to four thousand words a day, not really focused in one area – NaNoWriMo is trying to teach me to focus my efforts on one particular thing – I may be successful this year, who knows?

I have heard of a method which kind of makes wrimo easier for people during the flu season, which is reversed NaNoWriMo, where you do three thousand and odd words on the first day and condense it down every day so that on the last day you only write one word, which I think is a brilliant idea because most people are pumped up for NaNoWriMo in the first ten days and then they kind of get fed up, a bit like a diet.  Not to mention a lot of people quit halfway through wrimo because of the flu, as I said it is flu season, so, do a lot now whilst you’re healthy and you can lose a day or two without affecting your goal.

Anyway, daily updates on NaNoWriMo and other writing activities will be posted on here.  There may be fewer poems this month, who knows?

The words for NaNoWriMo yesterday were 1672 (I know, not the three thousand I said I wanted to do – that’s for today) along with 1711 words for my 750words.com account (sometimes I get carried away ranting about life) and another 495 words elsewhere. 

Today so far I have done 1784 words for 750words.com and nothing towards wrimo and around 500 words with this post and I do have an urge to write a poem right now.

So I am going to get going with that and I shall do my wrimo words when my son is in bed tonight.

Fingers crossed I will accomplish wrimo this month and this year, just for the feel good factor, I am writing about my vampires in a new story, as I said many times before, I am very possessive of my vampires so it is unlikely I will get that book published by the end of it.

Ciao for now.

 

 

 

 

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Day 3 of NaNoWriMo

Today is day three of NaNoWriMo, I may write more later on, but probably not too.  I have completed today with 2185 words, this total’s my whole NaNoWriMo score for the 3 days I have suffered from repetitive strain injury on my right hand as 7779 words completed towards my 50k goal.

I am not just doing NaNoWriMo, I am doing my normal writing as well as the 750words.com nano challenge, this means other than writing for my nano novel, I am dishing out a further 1700 words on average for 750words.com badge and another 1000 words for anything else.

Plus whatever the word count for this is – oh and I have also been handwriting outside of typing.  Sighs.  I dare anyone to tell me I am not productive this week, I dare them to say it!

*Sits watching and waiting for an idiot to take me up on the challenge of saying it*.

 

 

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NaNoWriMo November 2nd update

Today I have so far completed 5,594 words towards my 50,000 word goal at NaNoWriMo!

 

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NaNoWriMo day 1

NaNoWriMo has kicked off today and I am on a roll!  I have so far written 2148 words towards my daily goal, my daily goal has been 1670 words.  So WOO!

I have chosen to write a fantasy story based around a teenage girl who discovers another world.  I leave the rest to your imagination. 

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Filed under Short Stories

Motivation technique?

Because I am finding it hard to motivate myself to write more than 1000 words per day, I’ve decided to give myself a writing goal.

My usual daily writing goal is 3500 words, but for three days of the week I stop at 1700; so I decided I will give myself a weekly goal instead, that will be 17,500 words a week and my treat on completion of that goal will be one large Candy King pick and mix cup or Pringles tube all to myself.

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