Tag Archives: flow

Easter project update 2023

As Easter approaches my Easter project is more thought of, more inclined to be written.  Today I wrote a small snippet towards it, which is more than I have done for weeks if I am honest.

I am quite proud of what I did, even if it was only two paragraphs.  The idea hit me and I had to add it in, the villain has been remastered, he has a more full personality now and seems quite real, whereas my old villain was pretty naff really.

However I am starting to realise that this story, which was planned to be a trilogy could actually have some kind of comic elements to it too and may not be just three books!

As I realised that the two main characters are very hero/villain with magical powers like a normal comic would be.

It was never intended to be another comic, but it is starting to flow that way.  But it is written as a novel, because I prefer to do that with this project.

Thing is, this project is not really in first draft yet, it is actually only in planning mode and note taking whilst I try to visualise the whole world.

I do actually know where I would like the story to go and I believe once I am happy with the whole plan, this will be written down quite quickly.

The story is quite musical in parts, with poems and it is reminiscent of Charlie and the chocolate factory, but it is also poles apart as well.  The storyline is only similar in that it is based on a fantasy candy world; there are no children as main characters, no competitions, no mutations and a lot more magic, myth and legend retelling.

Similarly to project AD, it does have anthropomorphic supporting characters and is set around Easter, with a little bit of Easter tradition thrown in to help the story along a bit.

Why is it musical in parts and has a lot of poetry in the plans?

Because when I write, I write the kinds of movies I want to see – to me this is a musical family fantasy based around Easter, the Easter bunny and candy land. 

I’m actually quite excited about this project because it’s super fun to write.

Project AD is fun to write, but it is less playful if you get me?

Also this Easter project has a better and more energetic playlist than Project AD when I write it, so writing moves along faster – not to mention the language is rather different in project AD compared to this project.

My sense of humour can be very naughty at times and I have to keep reminding myself that I intend for this to be a family audience, so at times I get sad because I think of a hilarious scene and then sit back and realise how would I respond if a young child read or watched this and then I am like – OH MY GOODNESS DELETE-DELETE-DELETE!

No innuendos about gumballs Tina!

Shocking, really I am!

But those things slip in there and I have to be careful and mindful about it and who my audience is supposed to be, so the gumball joke is deleted.

So, you won’t be reading about how you should handle an evil gum tree any time soon!

By kicking him in the gumballs!

Shakes head*

Sorry about that!

Thanks for reading!

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Boat bound for dreams

I flow through life in a boat bound for dreams

Everything surreal happens to me it seems

Comedy and tragedy are my best friends

If I fall out my boat at least I’m cleansed

You need a sense of humour to flow through life

Or else bad things that happens, will cut like a knife

And you will be all down in the dumps

Covered in scars and bruises and bumps

When if you vomited rainbows and laughed at the pain

You will see the bad energy start to drain

And you won’t feel so down in the blue

You’ll start to feel more like you

Don’t drown yourself in your tears and woe

Just get back in that boat and row

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Some Words

Words come and go

I write them down as they flow

Alike to the wet river

Words come streaming, sometimes slither

Some words are good and others bad

Others make me happy and others make me sad

But words flow through me like a breeze

You will see me write with ease

But sometimes I throw those words away

Because I didn’t like how they played

I sit and whittle away the hours

I fill the page with wordy showers

Some words are nice and some are evil

Some are alone and some in sequels

Some makes books and others don’t

Some words I will publish and others I won’t

Some words will play with your mind

Others are hard to understand I find

Some words are long and others short

Some are loose and others taut

Some are fine and some are not

Some words come out like a blot

Some are written by the hand

Some are typed on a computer, grand

But mostly words just sit with me

In my mind and won’t be free

Those words they have a hold on me

Clogging my chakra aggressively

Because I will not share those words with you

For all sorts of reasons both old and new

For some words are good and some are bad

And some words make me happy and others make me sad

And all the while I sit with words

And some fly out of me like birds

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Blessings

Blessings come and go

Will you take them when they show?

Or will you ignore how they flow?

Because you are scared to know

That better things are out there for you

What are you afraid of?

Do you have a clue?

If you don’t then what exactly is stopping you?

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My authenticity as an author

What is my authentic self as an author?

What are my passions and experiences which seem to flow into my work effortlessly?

Basically, what makes this author, this author?

It’s not unknown if you have been following me for some time now that vampires are a huge passion of mine and that once they were all absorbing and my main if not ultimate focus?

They are still in my mind but is now swept away into a corner and regarded with a sense of guilty pleasure nowadays, which is a shame. 

But other than my vampires who am I as an author?

I like anthropomorphic animals (human like animals) and animation movies which have animals as main characters or heroes; to me I can’t get enough of movies like that!  I love reading books on the perspectives of animals, such as The Animals of Farthing Wood, Fluke, Charlotte’s Web, that sort of thing.

Being shamanic off and on throughout my life, I regard myself as having an unusually deep understanding for both nature and animals and anything primal really and yes, that does make me a Walt Disney fan.

I am a deeply spiritual person too with very philosophical ideas – this can be seen in some of my work but not all of it.

I do believe in miracles and magic, I believe in soul connections and spirits, so this belief of mine goes into my work a lot.

My work can be very profound and intense; it’s what I’ve seen in past reviews on my blog, in emails and from other people who were fortunate enough to get snippets from me in private.  Because I tend to throw in my philosophical thoughts, my spiritual education and I forget that sometimes for some people, they’re not ready for that kind of depth yet.  It’s a part of me, it’s a part of who I am and mostly I don’t realise I do it.

That’s my magic, that’s unique to me and when you follow your authentic path in your own writing, you will discover things about yourself you never knew too, it’s a kind of therapy a kind of gas-lighting oneself.

I love dragons and monsters, I like seeing them as misunderstood creatures, creatures that aren’t bad at all and in fact could be rather helpful but have their boundaries and they expect respect.

I like characters that are inventive and quirky, a little strange, maybe forgetful and definitely misunderstood by societies they live in, because they reflect who I am.  I am proud to say I am an air-head with little understanding of logic, that has an interest in science though not a brain to really fully grasp it and a memory of sieve – put all of this into a pot steaming with spirituality, creativity and free love and you’ve got me… a messy soup.

I am a mixture of Caractacus Potts from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Carl from Van Helsing 2004, Miss Bat from Worst Witch, Miss Trelawney from Harry Potter, Lucille Ball, Wendy Froud, Bjork and Bob Ross!  You get the message… I’m a mess!

I love writing lengthy descriptions of natural scenes and observations including as many if not all of the five senses all at once.

I have a deep sense of decay of both mind and matter, I understand the damaging effects of humanity on the Earth and I write plenty of dystopic sceneries in some of my stories.  I love the idea of nature taking back the world, after humans sought to destroy it! 

I love characters like Poison Ivy, Pocahuntas and The Lorax for this.

I have a deep sense of survival in me, from both being raised semi-feral in a North London garden with a violent family and because I have a Girl Guides attitude of “Be prepared” and a deeply seated understand of impermanence – that you can often see survival as a theme in a lot of my stories.

This is why I love characters such as Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games, the TV series The Tribe, Rambo and so forth. 

Because I have experienced severe mental health issues over the years and lived with several people who have far worse issues than I do (I have never needed to be medicated for example, like they have) I can fully understand what it means to live in an asylum and how the public treats people who have a history of that environment.  I also understand and have witnessed several times people literally descending into madness to the point of both murder and suicide.  Yes I have seen a person killed in front of me that is something I’ve kept to myself until now.

I have also witnessed several people trying to take their own lives, dying of a stroke right before my eyes and other horrible things.

Experiences which are hard to write, but can’t be wrote properly unless you’ve truly experienced it.  I am not saying try to experience that sort of thing, goodness no!  But you can understand how an author’s authentic self can further their writing by putting in their life experiences into it!

Characters such as Jack Torrance from the shining, John Kramer from Jigsaw, Janet Frame from Angels at my table are reflective of very similar people I have known as well as several characters from the movie The Crow.  I’ve known very edgy, scary people who don’t hide the aspect of who they truly are to anybody!  A few of these people have been put into isolation by the authorities but there are others that have evaded this somehow!

In my experience it is the weak ones that get caught and dealt with, the really nasty buggers never are!

Injustice is another thing that crops up in my stories from time to time based on this.

I am afraid to say some readers may find some of my darker materials frustrating as justice are rarely served in a fair way; I tend to take people to a very primal place.

Some of my characters are kooky, childish and fun, but should really be responsible as they are adults but they struggle with that reality – therefore I like characters such as Mr and Mrs Luxury from the blue bird, God from Dogma, Brennan and Dale from Step Brothers and Sarah Sanderson from Hocus Pocus. 

I have a passion for characters with big egos and sarcastic humour so I am often drawn to personalities which are played by actors such as Alan Rickman, Tim Curry, Glen Close and Robert Downey Jr.  Those characters seem to be fighting against the odds with a pack of brainless lucky heroes who are out to ruin their plans or gas-light them in some way in my stories.

Comedy is becoming more prominent in my stories as time is going by as I am no longer hiding my sense of humour from the world; this is a transition that is not welcoming from Paul.  He prefers my more serious stuff, but that’s not being authentic to myself!

There is even comedy in my darker stories and horror these days, lightly thrown in.

I was given an article to mull over by Paul the other week about how dark humour is an early sign of dementia; I am not paying any attention to that!

Societal changes and upheaval are a theme in several of my stories, hence my love for dystopia.

I dislike romance, so that is at a minimum – but there are some saucy scenes now and again in my adult works, in fact I have been known to write full on erotica in a past blog as short stories, but I deleted them after a while and that blog – I also did it here for a short time too, in the early years of my blog as I was told I was too graphic and should really have it as a subscribers content.

That is something I am thinking about doing actually, subscribers short stories of both my erotic works and vampires, as well as a subscriber incentive of giving 50% off the purchase of poetry anthology E-books I am planning to publish by the end of summer.

I love certain sports and you can see which I am into by the books I write, I love wrestling and combat sports in general so there are plenty of fight scenes in my stories as well as ancient warfare.  I am very keen in ancient warfare history and gaming.  I know a lot of the terminologies and so there is little research needed for me when I write those scenes because it’s a passion of mine.

I am not afraid of killing off characters but I am not a maniacal character serial killer like George R.R Martin, but not far off it either! 

Death sells as good as sex in my opinion.

I like hard-core no nonsense and dominant characters that don’t like a lot of fuss, so there is at least one in every story.  My favourite character is a wild hermit woman from the Dragon project I am writing; a sort of mix of Miss Trunchball meets Nanny McPhee and Tarzan!  Again, crazily based on people I’ve known, as I have said before… I’ve known some strange people in my time and exaggeration can go a long way, especially when story writing!

So you see a lot of my ideas wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for life experience and a knack for exaggeration for entertainment value.

Though I keep my non-fiction as honest as possible, I can use that experience and exaggerate it for fiction!

This is how we writers do things; it’s how we give you the books we write.

Or those who have actually given their work to an agent to get published, that is!

I’m not far off to be honest.

I won’t give you a deadline or update until I send my work to an agent, but for now – let’s just say, I think it’s going to be sooner than you think – a lot sooner!

So there you have it – my experiences, my passions and my work and why it is uniquely mine and why you will struggle to try and copy it!  You are not me and even if you were to go off and research the character references and include the subjects I’ve mentioned in this blog – you won’t ever reflect me, but only I can be purely me and only you can be purely you!

Thanks for reading!

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Lost poetry & young love

The world has lost seven new poems in the past two days.

When I write a poem I am in a certain emotional state or a semi-trance and I write them; if I am disturbed sometimes it is OK if it is for a few seconds, but seven poems in the past two days has been interrupted for five minutes or more with much needed emotional feedback which meant the poem was half finished and the flow was gone, so they got deleted. 

I never get the flow back ever again when a poem has been interrupted in its creation, there were times in the past I put the unfinished poems into a folder on my computer and I have tried to get back into that space but it never happens – so poems that are disturbed like that are lost forever, so now I delete them.

Every poem I write always ends up on my blog; this is another reason why my blog has been so quiet.  There is a lot of emotional turmoil going on within the house and people want my response to what’s going on because I am the mother of the house; however, when you are mother of a house where your opinion doesn’t matter, what can I do other than sit there, give whatever emotional support I can, sit and shrug and say – “you know I can’t do anything about love”.

Its hard being a mother to a child and making suggestions for that child when the father has opposing ideas and is very strong-minded and shoots my opinions down like we’re in a war against each other!

It’s even harder when you know your child has come to you to speak to you in private because he doesn’t want his dad to get on his case again for his honest opinion about the situation.  So when he asks you for help, you have no choice but to talk to the father and then realise that the father seeks the child about it and starts the mini wars again. So the child asks for help, you tell them, I need to speak with dad and he asks you not to, or sometimes he says ok, but you know it’s always the same. It’s more difficult than you can know!

It is very difficult knowing too, that when you tell your child you are separating and in a few months’ time will be moving out – that this child choses to stay with the person he rarely goes to for any emotional comfort simply because he wants to stay in this house (which he will inherit as it’s in a trust for him) and to stay in his school with his friends because he doesn’t like the concept of change.

It’s hard because you know in your heart that his emotional declination is almost assured if he stays.

But as stupid and irresponsible as it sounds, my child is thirteen in May and in my opinion I should honour his life decisions whether or not it hurts me – that’s the kind of liberal parenting I do.  It’s all about my child, not me, that’s the way I am.

His father is much more conservative about raising children, education comes before anything – that includes emotions. I often joke that Paul is like a cross between Data and Spock, but in actuality it isn’t funny!

There are times when Henry gets emotional about not being able to do a question in his homework and I swear Paul is struggling to hold back from saying “Being emotional about this question is illogical, you need to do the homework now and do the emotional reflection later.”

It’s Henry’s choice to stay here and I am not going to wrench him away from what he wants, simply because my ego has told me I know better than him.

Maybe I am a bad parent, but for me, I want him to be happy and thrive in a way that doesn’t cause any unnecessary stress for him, also he has a girlfriend, he is dating already and so who can split up young love like that without having some huge pangs of guilt?

Thanks for reading…

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Filed under About my work, Home and Family

Fate less world

I lie awake thinking of a life that wasn’t mine

I dine on the feast of your dreams

They are mine

They belong to me

But no, I don’t have the diamonds in my hair

But I know you are there

I know you are scared

Of my words

They burn your mouth like a kiss from the devil

I am lost and dishevelled

But you don’t know

The things I know

To be where I am

I am lost in the land

Of hopelessness and decay

Why is it this way?

I can’t stand it here anymore

I am lost and I am bored

In this fate less world

This is what I call a brainless poem – what do I mean by that?  Sometimes the words flow so fast it’s like I am channelling the spirit world, like I have gone into a trance – this is one of those poems.  I have taken a risk putting it here, maybe I’ll embarrass myself with it, and maybe I will surprise myself with your reaction – who knows?

But this is the kind of stuff that happens regularly and is often deleted, because to me, I don’t know where it came from and sometimes even I don’t understand it.

There were about three sentences that were not written in the above, because the words flowed too fast, but I managed to keep its flow anyway.  If there is any flow at all…

Thanks for reading

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Spirit & energy

It is vitally important to always make sure you have your own personal space in your home, so you have a chance to heal and a place to make a sanctuary; it is important to fiercely guard this space and for twelve years I had to fight to find mine and it was genuinely a battle.

It has only really been two months now, since this space has been truly mine in every sense of the word; a place that I can decorate and design to my will, a place where I can relax and sleep and even sometimes write on the quiet days.

This house has a lot of negative energy running through it, which is what you can expect when you have a polluted stream running right under your house and this stream is drying up.

I have never been happy in this house, because I felt this house made me sick and it wasn’t until two years into my ill-health that Paul told me about the stream under the house; had I of known before I moved in with him, I wouldn’t have moved in with him, not in this house.

Why?

Because living on water like that is not good for a witch, or so my family has told me as there are some ancestry from Salem, the Howe’s, my ancestors were the ones who got away.  Living on water can do two things to a proper blood born witch; make you sick because it affects your energy at a consistent pace and can affect your spell crafting abilities negatively whilst overloading your instinct for fortune telling and clairvoyance.  That is of course, if you are not a sea or a water based witch, those are different.  Yes my Chinese astrological element is water, but this is not a good place for me to live.  I can live by water, as long as I am not on top of it and as long as it is not constantly flowing beneath me.

This is a shame because I have always liked the idea of long holidays on barges and cruises, I know for a fact I used to love going rowing in the summer with my dad and cousins and I don’t suffer from seasickness.

I am a non-practising witch these days, I only do crystal healing, fortune readings, clairvoyant stuff and I still feed the faeries and the house spirits, hug trees and that sort of thing – but I don’t actively do spells anymore, as I believe it negatively affects the balance of the universe.  I do believe however in cosmic ordering and that the cosmos knows how to balance things better than we do, in my opinion, cosmic ordering or wish-craft is far superior to witchcraft.  It’s gentler, it’s balanced and it is not forcing anything and you build a relationship with the source that is deep and loving and protective and always knows best!

Since gaining my new space and doing my little cleansing rituals and a little bit of Feng Shui (only a little) I have noticed something about my particular space that I have never felt whilst living in this house and that is a lightness, a clean energy, a vibrancy developing here.

The other members of my household, Paul and Henry have noticed this energy too and try to spend more time in my space than their own, but I quickly rush them out after twenty minutes, because this is my space and I can’t lose it again.

I am relying a lot on crystal energy for this space.  I do a cleansing ritual every time someone comes into my space with anything negative; it’s become almost an obsession.  But you have no idea how quickly the energy darkens and becomes depressive if I am not consistently on top of it.

All I do is use my quartz crystal to make a protective star in the room, circle me thrice and if necessary open the window for half an hour.

This is my bedroom and it is not shared by anyone, this is my space and I love it.

My room has become known in the family as the rainbow room, because my crystals make about fifty little prisms all over the walls when they are poked to swing in the window and when those rainbows light up the room, the energy is so soothing and beautiful, I can’t get rid of anyone who comes in until they fade.

My clairvoyance and my instinctive abilities are increasing exponentially, where I am becoming unsurprised by events happening in my life now.  But I am also driven with excitement by something I can sense, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

All I know is my world is about to turn upside down and become completely unrecognisable soon, but I understand that it’s all positive and good and I will be ecstatically happy for a very long time after this event.  What this event might be?  I am unsure really, but it indicates a new person coming into my life that will just drastically change everything and heal me emotionally and help me become strong and vibrant again.

My spirits are sometimes mischievous but never harmful or toxic, whenever I ask who this person is? They laugh at me and told me, I will not be able to speak when I see them, I won’t believe it’s true and I may be tempted to run away from them when they approach me.

They also said that this person will be the best thing to ever happen in my life!

They told me that we will work together in a similar or same career, that together we will be a power couple that people will look at us as Emperor and Empress because our ideas coming together are so spectacular that the world will literally be in awe of us.  Which sounds exciting – I wondered if it is another writer or someone along those lines, Paul guesses I might fall in love with the agent I get.  Who knows?

They said that our creativity will be a huge legacy for literally generations to come!  We will not be forgotten, it’s that kind of big energy.

They also told me that my new prospective partner will be ecstatic because they knew their intuition was right about me, that they are happy that they can change into doing something they’ve been wanting to do a lot for the past few years, but circumstances have meant they had to go in another direction they weren’t as passionate in, but just generally liked a bit.

I was told he will love how playful I am, how changeable I am, how pliable I can be in most situations and ultimately he will see me as a very inspiring person and he will get on my case about not using my abilities to the best that I can.  He will be very pushy about my talents, all of them and I won’t be able to hide any from him or the world, he won’t allow it.

He will push me into the world and have a “have fun” attitude and will stick around waiting to push me back if I try to wander away from what I am supposed to be doing.

He sounds impossible, but supportive, cheeky and fun.

He will challenge me on every level to be the best that I can be for myself, he won’t let me belittle myself or make do, he will always make me strive to take better things.  Apparently there is a couple of things which will frustrate the both of us being together… for him, it is my idea of moderation and accepting less than I really want and my apparent, needless frugality.  He is apparently here to teach me how to grasp abundance, but according to my spirits, he is fighting a losing battle as I am just so naturally happy and grateful for whatever I have and I never overdo things for myself.

I overdo things for others, but it is hard for me to digest and accept doing it for myself.

He will also have a challenging time with my insecurities, but after as little as two years he would have the victory he was vying for regarding that!  This is what the spirits promised, I laughed as two years is too short a time for that!

But they are determined that he knows me more than I do!

As for my reaction to him, apparently he will know how to push all of my buttons for any reaction he desires and this will sometimes scare me, because he will challenge me a lot!  He will not do anything to harm me, or make me feel bad in anyway, but he will scare me by putting me into situations and teaching me how to cope with them and have fun, because in his opinion I have missed out a lot in life and he is determined I won’t miss out on anything else!

My lesson to him apparently is improving spiritual connection and emotional healing as well as filling the void.  Oh and apparently although he is known to be a little eccentric already by people who know him, apparently us being together will make him stand out as being even more outrageous, because we’ll do it as a couple together!  We are apparently two peas in a pod!

The spirits said we are the couple that get the most invites to places, simply because we liven things up with our presence and vibrancy.

To be perfectly honest, it has to be a dream and this can’t really happen for me.  Because in my opinion, I am past it; I am forty years old, I am not very attractive, I can’t see how all of this is going to happen in such a short space of time.  I have got myself into a homebody rut, so how am I going to meet this guy, huh?

Is he going to just turn up on my doorstep?  I don’t think so!

But OK… email me first?

Thanks for reading.

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Tired & desperate

I really miss being able to go into my writing zone for lengthy bouts of fiction writing and I really miss doing both Inktober for the art and NaNoWriMo, however, this year I won’t have done either.

I can’t do it, there is just too much stress and chaos around the house lately, I am not allowed more than twenty minutes in my zone before someone wants to either disturb me or start a new screaming match again.

The only time I have is late at night when everybody is in bed, but that means strange sleeping habits for me – for example, I am writing this blog post at 5:28am on the 28th October 2022.  I had five hours sleep last night and I had only managed to eat 800 calories all day.

It’s nearly 6am; I guess a new day has started?

It torments me when I can’t add to my current projects.

At the moment I am too tired to think about doing it, I haven’t slept in twenty hours and I am doing all of this without caffeine, remember, I went cold turkey and I only had three slip ups this month!

I really want my AD project and the Christmas and Easter project to get done as well as my steampunk lesbian adventure story.

You know I was too embarrassed to share this at the time, but I had to turn down winning a prize for a writer’s retreat a friend nominated me for, because I couldn’t afford the transport money to get there?  But imagine if I had been able to afford it, a whole month in solitude writing at my heart’s content, no interruptions.

You realise I could easily write 12k a day again, don’t you?  Most probably only 4k on average because the scenery was beautiful and I am a natures child by heart!

I rarely watch TV because of the noise too and my average of 150 books a year has gone down to 70 if I am lucky, all because of noise pollution from my other household members and invasion of personal space.

When Henry was a toddler, he was much quieter, seriously, he was very quiet and undemanding – he is twelve, surely things should be easier now?

Surely he’d want to shut himself away in his bedroom doing his own thing?  No, that’s not him he wants and needs constant attention, its tiring.

I have lived with cousins who had three kids under the age of seven playing around me, not necessarily quiet, regular kid noise and I still could write – but it’s different here, because it’s not normal noise and it’s not just kids shouting.

I hate the idea of not getting my work done, because whilst it’s not getting done it means I am staying less than mediocre, I am unable to pull myself out of this poverty or bettering myself in any way.  I can’t practise art anymore, I can’t do puzzles, I can’t do anything, just sit there and exist and be drained and to listen to vitriolic crap being fired between Paul and Henry.

I try to take myself upstairs out of it all, because if I open my mouth it makes it all worse; no matter how much of a Pollyanna I try to be, that doesn’t work here!

But then I still hear them shouting at each other, but it’s muffled so I don’t know what’s going on then I hear screams and doors slamming, then silence.  Then it starts again around twenty minutes later.

I have outlined my story plans so well because I can’t get into the zone to write the story, that once I have the peace around me to write, I am writing very quickly and I am not needing to edit as much as I used to.

Because I have to re-read my notes a lot, because I lose track of what I just read because of a sudden scream or bang.

I am beginning not to need to refer to hand notes anymore.

I know through experience that with this kind of depth that I have of my story plans, that I could write the AD project within three weeks to completion.  But it will require three hours a day to do it.  I write at a pace of 3k per hour on an average day when I am undisturbed.

Problem is, I need my music on and I need to be left alone without any interruption so I can go into the zone a trance-like state and do my work.  Without that, my writing is trash and bland.

Henry hates certain types of music I love for writing, he is using this as a supposed “Trigger” to his bad behaviour and he laps up the “trigger” remark to the fullest capacity that he can.

When he realises I am writing and I have ear phones on, he does everything in his power to come upstairs a lot and open my door constantly, making me have to take the ear phones off to hear him, because I am deaf without my hearing aids and I can’t use hearing aids with ear phones on. 

Then, when it’s not him coming upstairs every five minutes, it’s his father, the amount of times they need to use the bathroom is stupid, funnily enough when I don’t write, they can go an hour between pees, when I am writing its every fifteen minutes.  But they don’t just go to the bathroom and leave, oh no, they want to give me a running commentary on the news or backstabbing each other to me.

I can write my blog posts, because it flows differently to a story.  I can lose my way a little here, but in a story I need to be consistent and shift perspectives a lot of the time.

I’m exhausted, I just want to write.

Thanks for reading.

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Filed under About my work

I am like a river

I am flowing, because of the water that is me

I am like a river

I am never the same me

I am free

Like a chameleon I change a lot

Sometimes cold and others hot

My flavour changes bitter to ripe

I flow like water, it is my right

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Filed under poetry