This post exists because I am trying very hard to buck myself up, heal myself mentally and find a purpose in life other than just what other people tell me my purpose is.
Since becoming bedbound and housebound sick around eight or nine years ago, I slowly fell into a depression that lead to suicidal thoughts and I forgot how to feel happy; even certain hobbies I used to love, no longer bought me joy and because of lack of space and money, those things diminished more and more to the point that I no longer had a way in feeling even the slightest bit of joy.
A majority of the things that bought me happiness was physical activity, I love sport, I love exercise, but my illness made me slow down to the point of stagnation.
Slowly I am rebuilding my health, I have a new diet which is helping me get there halfway but I am out of practise in moving my body in general and so I am starting the slow process to get my mobility back – it’s going to take months, if not a couple of years to get to the level I would like!
I have been watching a lot of Mel Robbins videos lately, instead of honing my writing skills and learning about graphic novels like I said I was going to; because I felt I couldn’t market myself or do things confidently unless I was actually feeling confident and capable. Mel Robbin’s videos on YouTube are helping me find my capabilities in baby steps.
One of the things was to learn to find ten things that bring me joy or excitement and try to do three of them about once a week each; instead I decided I like a lot more variety so I spent three hours last night just sitting down thinking about one hundred things that bring me joy, happiness and excitement and wrote them down, with the goal of trying to do three a week.
Although Paul was disappointed I didn’t add any word count to any of my current projects whilst I did this, he did agree that this list needed to exist too and that my mental health is just as important as my writing, if not more so!
So here is my list, unfortunately many of the below cannot be done until either finances improve for me to travel, get a dog or get the fitness level I need to do them, but there are plenty things in my list that work well for a sedentary impoverished life, it was just my task to try and find them!
Now these things below really do make me happy, relaxed, confident, excited and I can spend hours doing any of these activities below – ironically you won’t find much about writing down there, because I lost my joy of writing a few years back and I have been trying very hard to get it back!
Writing is literally a job now, or it will be once I start getting paid for it, but it is not something I would say brings me joy these days and I know why! Writing bought me joy when I was brainstorming my ideas with friends and family, but there is no one available to me in recent years to do that with other than Paul and Paul lacks the enthusiasm I used to get from people of my past.
An asterisk in the list means there is an obstacle for me at the moment for the thing I wrote down.
Some of the things with asterisks are things I used to do before there were obstacles and I miss them.
So let’s show you the list…
- Writing vampire stories even though the world hates them! One of the major reasons why I don’t get much other writing done in my other genres and projects, spending too much time with my vampires.
- Gardening * I have a really obnoxious neighbour who is abusive so I don’t do it anymore
- Reading in the garden on a swing hammock or by a pond *same as above
- Playing with dogs and training them * don’t have a dog anymore but working on getting one when finances improve
- Carboot sales * can’t travel to them, they are out of a bus route
- Watching vampire, demon and mafia movies
- Watching aquarium or pond fish * don’t have either of those things yet
- Cooking for people * Paul worries too much about me not coping that I find it difficult to cook without interference, we argue about it frequently
- Board and card games with 3+ people
- Drama classes and amateur theatre * at the moment there are other things I need to work on before taking this hobby back up again!
- Practising musical instruments
- Shopping * finances need improvement can even be daring with an extra £2.50 these days!
- Visiting libraries
- Visiting garden centres * none within a bus ride even if I just window shopped
- Going to parks, gardens and woods
- Going to museums * none in bus ride I haven’t exhausted
- Brainstorming my creative ideas with a group * don’t have a trustworthy group again yet
- Swimming & diving * can’t afford the fee for the local centre
- Doing tarot readings for people
- Having picnics
- Rowing on lakes * no rowing lakes nearby, no one to row with and I can’t be the only rower, because sometimes my carpal tunnel syndrome or my arthritis flares up, my arthritis is worse in my left shoulder than anywhere else!
- Rock pooling * nowhere local to my knowledge to do it
- Playing with sand
- Painting stones and pebbles
- Making prisms
- Watching horse racing * no one likes to do this with me yet
- Watching cruft’s and other dog sport events
- Watching gymnastics
- Watching rugby
- Watching wrestling * can’t afford subscription tv to see them and it’s on too late here in the UK so often miss it
- Halloween preparations and parties
- Firework displays and parties
- BBQ parties
- Going to the Severn Valley steam railway * finances need improvement
- Whipsnade zoo & picnics * can’t get there easily and I like large picnics with lots of people
- Zip wires – the longer the better!
- Trampolining * need more fitness first
- Netball * same as above
- Arcades * financial improvement needed first
- Pub lunches * same as above
- Going to musical theatres * same as above, also a willing companion needed!
- Going to circuses * same as above
- Going to fetes, country fairs and fairgrounds * same as above
- Learning new languages
- Giving and receiving massages
- Research for my stories
- Upcycling things * same as above
- Playing darts * don’t have a dart board anymore
- Snuggling with people and pets * not even my rabbit likes to snuggle cries*
- Building cushion forts * no room, not enough cushions for fort making
- Playing Ovipets online
- Playing console games * TV broke and the ones we have don’t have the thingys according to Paul
- Word games, particularly with other people
- Tae Bo workouts * need to get fit again first to do the proper 45 minute work out
- Singing * people complain too much in this house
- Belly dancing and watching belly dancers * I’d love to try and dance them someday too, if I ever become a published author or famous enough, I’d like to be invited to come dancing, one of my fantasies!
- Watching tango, paso doble and flamenco dances
- Reading books on culture, religion and mythology
- Charity work and volunteering * can’t get to places lately
- Daydreaming on long car journeys * – I don’t talk on long car journeys, sorry! Also we don’t have a car and there is no one to take me for a ride!
- Long over ground train journeys – again I don’t talk much on those, unless it’s about the scenery or if its urban sceneries then I’d have my nose in a book!
- Blowing bubbles for myself but it is more fun with dogs and babies!
- Hand making things with children
- Organising children’s parties
- 1000 piece or bigger jigsaw puzzles – like to have one set up all the time!
- Watching the RHS show
- Reading gardening and fashion magazines * had to give up four subscriptions recently, can’t afford them anymore
- Looking for hag stones and other things in nature
- Being inside the darkness of dense mossy woodlands, meditating * the local place is too dangerous now as there are too many avalanches into the lake it’s sealed off! Need to find another dense mossy woodland elsewhere!
- Playing swing ball * don’t have one anymore and not doing it with that neighbour around – found out recently that they aren’t leaving after all because he spent the deposit money to move behind his wife’s back! I think the whole neighbourhood heard that screaming match!
- Walks on frosty mornings – weather permitting
- Walks particularly at the top of hills at dawn or dusk taking pictures! * Can’t get up the hill in Quarry Park since 2015, working on trying to get fit for it again
- Moon bathing… yes it’s a thing!
- Watching the local bats flying around
- Midnight walks at full moons especially but never alone! *
- Photographing wildlife and plants
- Sugar crafting
- Making soups and casseroles for people
- Making seasonal decorations
- Running and jogging with dogs * don’t have a dog currently and not fit enough anymore, but trying to get it all back!
- Watching short movies and art movies
- Whittling or carving art into wood with knives
- Designing clothes, especially ball gowns
- Playing marbles
- Playing jacks
- Flower arranging and making elaborate arrangements especially for formal occasions!
- Making puppets or soft toys for kids
- Having an Indian head massage
- Motivating others
- Walking in the summer light rain
- Writing in cafes *
- Making wands, staffs and homemade natural weapons
- Learning new skills, that are fun
- Playing the discus
- Playing Frisbee with dogs and children
- Strategic war games
- Collecting specific things – buttons, dragons, seeds, books, trump cards & crystals
- Knitting for people * brings on my carpal tunnel syndrome if I knit more than fifteen minutes a time
Happy reading everyone!