Tag Archives: faith

You are loved by God

I am a light bringer, changer of faith

My words are spoken softly my image locked in wraith

I am gentle with my words, soft like a summer’s breeze

A little hazy you will feel, but I hope to bring you ease

I kiss you on your soul, yet you feel it not

For you are tied and contorted within the Devil’s knot

You don’t know that path you have, is a path you should not dwell

You are afraid of primal things, like punishment and Hell

But those things are not to be feared, for they cannot touch you so

Hell is not a place, where mortals are doomed to go

No

Each soul is special and unique

Each soul is loved by God

You will be forgiven at the end of life

Don’t think it rather odd

You can’t understand what it’s like to be God

To love you when you’ve sinned

Because nothing can ever love like God, my beautiful wunderkind

So hear me now and rest at ease

Hell is not where you are sure to go

Because you have lived a life of lies doesn’t mean God will hate you so

No

He knew you before you were born

He knew each step you’d take

So how can he punish what he has made?

Do you think he makes mistakes?

No

He doesn’t and you should know

Because everything is perfect, he has made it so

So away with your fears and bring in your trust

That everything is as it should be and that these things are a must

You cannot do anything that is wrong

Because God has allowed you to sing your song

But do not be blinded by pride and decay

Because God sends in people to change and to sway

Each little step you are sure to take, to ensure that everything is perfect

Make no mistake!

There is no bad decision as long as you learn

Which person is the one of which you should turn

Which event is a lesson and which is a lie

Which is Gods path and which is a try?

So trust in God that he has your hand

And you will realise all is grand

So off you go and learn the way

Reach out to those who help you sway

Keep out of harm and join in with love

Smile, be happy because you are loved!

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Why I smile when I am sad

Shame is a feeling I am familiar with

Anger is a feeling I have lived with

Envy is a feeling I still experience and share with shame

As with pride it is the same

I know all too well the crying game

As sadness rips my heart again

And bitterness takes control of me

Whilst I look at others in their glee as they glance and then look down on me

I have seen the cunning face of those people who will disgrace

My name my status my love and care, they enjoy it I swear, I swear

But they don’t know the love I have

The forgiveness I give when they’re bad

The joy I have when they say they are sorry

But not many do so it is a quarry

That many do not like to go and so they continue spreading woe

Because they can’t stand to be so deep

They’d rather forget and stay asleep

To the pain they cause and the harm and shame

They keep on repeating again and again

Some people learn and others don’t

Because it’s too hard so they won’t

But I have seen some better men

Who have changed their ways and turned to Zen

I have faith that not all is bad

This is why I smile when I am sad

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Through the window

I had a dream last night that I couldn’t close a window.

The window wasn’t broken, as in had broken glass or anything like that – it is weird that I had this dream after someone requested I write a poem about windows…

The window just wouldn’t close, someone had messed with the locks and stuck a plant on the frame of the window that wouldn’t come off and so the window could only remain ajar.

I got angry about this in the dream, because winter was only two weeks away – I found out it was my mother that did this to my window and I told her bluntly, then we will have to change bedrooms when the winter comes – I don’t want to be cold all winter, you can if you like – but not me!

She wouldn’t change bedrooms and out of nowhere I said to her – I am not as poor as you think you know, I have money and I only stayed because I had faith you’d change, but you never will – so now I am taking my money and I leaving you!

Even in the dream I was surprised at what I said, like I thought I was lying to myself by telling her this – but then I instantly went online in the dream and found that I was right, there was hundreds of thousands of pounds in my account all of a sudden.

I was amazed in the dream… but then something at the back of my mind explained how this happened.

I served my parents up their last meal and I went out to find my new home.

But I didn’t buy this home, I just literally walked into a house that looked pleasant and there were three adults and two children at a dining table and I started serving them the food I gave to my parents and we sat down happily together, like we’d always been together!

Weird dream!

I would say “through the window of broken glass, deep things changed in me last night” but the windows glass wasn’t broken…

What’s weirder is just now I heard the word “FAITH” said quite loudly and then I saw the numbers 222.

Thanks for reading!

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Lost Lion

The raven sees the Lion

The lion doesn’t know

The lion slowly roams

Which place does he go?

The raven knows his destiny

The raven knows the way

But the lion doesn’t see her

Maybe he will some day?

God had put him on this path

But he is in denial

Stricken by his heart of morals

Scared he’ll be put on trial

So cautiously he takes his steps, deeper into the sands

Hoping that somehow things will become clear to him

A miracle in his hands

The raven tries her best to tell, to shout – I know the way

But her voice is drowned out by his fears

As he tearfully prays

So many signs she have given him

To show him the path is near

But slowly he wanders off too far

So that he doesn’t hear

Too many times the raven caws

Too many times unheard

Too many times the lion has walked too far from the bird

God has told her have patience dear

Let him find the way

Soon things to him will be all too clear

Right now the fogs too grey

But the raven sits in worry

That maybe he’ll roam too far

That maybe he will become lost

Just like the fallen star

But God said that he will be fine

All he needs is a rhyme

A rhyme to find the way

So the little raven sits on her perch and sings the rhyme today

Will he hear her, I don’t know

But we sit and watch and wait

Because nobody is like the lion

The lion is strong and great

The lion has a purpose

And it is not safe to tell

But all you need to know is

The lion frees us from Hell!

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Some people kill for suppositions

Some people know what it’s like to be so multicultural that they call you fake

Call you a wannabe, call you a snake

Some people know what it is like to live in different classes, but mostly being poor

Some people call you a fake and they close their doors to you

Some people know what it is like to be fat then thin, then fat again and thin again

Body changing constantly like the tides of the sea

Some people know what it is like to be me

Some people think I can’t possibly be, all these things, that make me, me

A half gypsy grandma with Greco Italian roots who is a quarter cast to boot

Married a half jew that was raised catholic, a cockney with a Welsh grandmother

Clutching rosaries and cursing the church, what a sight, how absurd?

But that was them my maternal side

I have nothing bad to hide

I love my family and they love me

But still society picks on me

Because I am fake, didn’t you know?

I can’t possibly be all the things I know

Even fake still my paternal side

My grandpa who watched the genocides

Whilst smoking pipes in his wheelchair, writing letters like he didn’t care

Calling himself a Christian and a lord some spit at him and some applaud

Is he German or Austrian? I never knew, but my grandma said he could be the two

But she knew he was Italian too, wearing black shirts and doing poo

She was ashamed of him, I am too

She was different, the opposite, with her Dutch roots and Irish eyes smiling, though her hair was dyed, worshipping Jesus and the saints like a good catholic woman

Swimming in the seas of war saving sailors, now that I applaud and dancing with the majorettes, a descendant of the oldest aristocratic family of Europe, the most loving person I could ever know

Teaching me how to speak and grow

Won’t tell me about grandad you know?

I can’t blame her really, can you?

Not if he wore blackshirts supporting poo

But you call me fake, don’t you?

So you don’t believe a word

Because all this mixture is too absurd

My grandma hid a fact from her husband and it was simply this

Her great grandpa was from Vietnam, I imagine he’d be really pissed!

Fascists think they are pure and true and yet they are very wrong

Everyone is related yet they say it’s wrong

I know what it’s like to not be believed

I get it everyday

This is why I don’t talk that much, because I have nothing else to say

I am who I am and I am a mix

But you call me liar, so I’m in a fix

Because I tell the truth, yet you say I lie

But I do not and it makes me cry

My mother skipped from faith to faith

Trying to find her feet

Kept doing this and that, making things hard for me

I decided long ago that the only faith that’s real

Is the old testament and nothing else

Because the new one was written to steal

Steal God’s people away from him

By other liars true

If you think about it, you will see that what I say is true

Most religions stem from the Jews

Isn’t it a funny thing?

How the Jews are the smallest culture

Yet the liar’s faith grows and sings?

Yes the prophets were all good men

But why pray to them so?

Pray to the source, which is God and all the bad things will go

I feel blessed in my life, since I started to pray to source

But you are angry to hear this, I understand of course

A culture that lasted centuries can get set within their ways

I cry for all the lost children

I cry and pray each day

That you will return to God and see what the deceiver has done

Playing cousin against cousin, watching the chaotic fun!

But that is something off my chest

I needed you to know

Because I love you no matter what

You are lost through all the woe

This poem was not meant to preach

But show you all my life

But things have a funny way to show

Who holds a candle and a knife?

I know what it’s like not to be loved

I know what it’s like to hurt

I know what it’s like to have a mother who pushes you away into the dirt

I know what it’s like to have a father who watches what she does

But sits afraid of losing her and sits with you in the mud

I know what its like to love and lose

I know what its like to be alone and bruised

I am tall but I am not strong

So many people have done me wrong

Yet I still love and care for them

Because I believe in Lord Hashem

He’d want me to look after them and show them another way

I know what it’s like not to be heard

But that’s Ok

I am sorry I got a bit carried away with this poem; this poem was the second task from the book “How to grow your own poem” by Kate Clanchy.

This was supposed to be my own version of “Some People” by Rita Ann Higgins.  https://www.lyrikline.org/sl/pesmi/some-people-5711  I must apologise in advance for the swearing that is quite strong in this poem.

But I really do know what it’s like to have such a mix heritage that almost everybody thinks I lie about it to impress them, but I really don’t.  It’s really hard not to talk about your family and their ways when your family has literally been your only life.

I really do feel for people who have got lost in lies.  But the thing is, I understand that the prophets etc that are included in religious rituals were good people too.  I understand that, but religion has deflected away from God so much because they prefer to pray through those prophets and then wonder why things aren’t as blessed as they should be. 

I honestly have known Christians who believe that Jesus is God, some of the more educated understand that he isn’t, but still they pray through him, not directly to God?  Can you imagine how God feels about that?  Especially as the supposed Messiah has not fulfilled their promise told in The Old Testament? 

Did you know when the true Messiah comes to Earth no one can doubt him, not even the tiniest bit?  That when he comes all will feel he is the genuine one and it will cause instant peace on Earth that lasts forever, then after people have seen the Messiah, God himself will come down from heaven and destroy heaven so that Earth becomes paradise?  The Torah says this.  It’s something to think about isn’t it?

It was Gods promise that he would do this.  Thing is, I am not jewish, my great grandmother was, but I was raised in three types of Christianity whenever my mother wanted the change – Anglican, Jehovah’s Witness and Catholic, I never knew what I was supposed to be growing up, that’s why I went and researched religion so much, to find out what the blazes the truth is!

I chose to be a non-participating Noahide until further notice, because I am confused. A Noahide is what Jews call a righteous gentile, a person who wasn’t raised in the Jewish faith properly and who believes in God and prays to him and sometimes they are converted fully into Judaism, some never are. I participate in private prayer to God, but I have not joined any communities yet.

Why? Because I find my relationship with God is a private one and I understand that this world is rife with hate and violence.

Studying every form of religion that stemmed from Judaism and then Judaism itself made things abundantly clear to me; it’s nonsense all these religious wars because everyone who stemmed from Judaism, should still be Jewish, not killing each other over what version of lies they love the best. 

Yes the deceiver is true and real, but I can’t help but think that billions of people can be wrong and duped. 

Even the Jews themselves have sort of lost their way a little, when the Sadducees and Pharisees started changing things, making the original seven laws of God into Ten and then all of a sudden six hundred and thirteen!  How did that happen?

Most Christians I know have no idea that Jesus was even a rabbi, they believe he was just a carpenter, but that is partly true, but also yes, he was a rabbi! 

Honestly I have been there and experienced all this myself and like you, I was astounded at what I found and I was deeply pained in the knowledge that all those who believe in the same God, still fight and kill each other, it’s utterly ludicrous!

A major part of my depression is knowing all of this and crying daily because I see cousin against cousin and for what?  For suppositions, that’s all!  Just mere suppositions!   

I became like my mother in my early adult years, skipping from faith to faith trying to find out why God ignores me and it wasn’t until I decided to connect with my spirit guides and ask them why he ignores me, that they told me one simple thing.

“Have you thought about talking directly to God without going through another entity, not even us, your guides”? 

To be perfectly honest – no I didn’t!

Because so often I was told that God is too busy to listen to all of us hence the angels and the prophets; but don’t you think that this disempowers him? 

Don’t you believe for one second that God has created all of this and he has the time to care for all of it, that he wouldn’t go beyond his own personal limits that he is limitless and will respond?

Because I believe he doesn’t take on more than he can chew personally.  I believe he has the time but the thing is, do you have the heart for it?  Do you have the inclination to respect his wishes from you and treat him with respect and talk to him respectfully like you would any monarch upon the earth?

Don’t talk to him like a beggar would, that’s disrespectful, humble yourself, but don’t beg.  Be mindful of his power, be mindful of his love and don’t try to abuse him in prayer.

You need to pray in a way where you ask him to teach you, ask him to show you things, so you can help yourself, because if there is one thing I have learned about God are that he despises laziness.  He made you in his image remember; would you dare to call God lazy?

He is there to help because he loves you, but he helps you only when you ask him to. 

He doesn’t give you things on a plate, you say “Oh I am so poor” give me some money please”.  No matter how polite you are, that is lazy prayer with no intention of helping yourself.

Instead say this; “Show me a way that I can raise my income without it being boring and affecting my health negatively”, he answers by dreams or synchronicities – signs.

If you are sick do not complain about it to him just ask him “Am I sick because here is something I haven’t learned yet?  Are you preventing something?  Are you trying to slow me down because you are worried that I may be reacting too fast I’d get into trouble?  Or are you trying to show me something else, please gives me signs why I am sick”.  He helps.

I have longstanding problems with my hearing and ear health, when I asked him to show me why this was, apparently in a dream I learned that it was because I was constantly telling people “I don’t want to hear about your problems, I don’t want to hear your criticisms” and I realised God was more or less granting me a wish.

Do you have leg problems or hip problems?  Have you ever flippantly said to other people you need to slow down?  Or you wished you could relax more?

Think about it.

I didn’t mean for this post to be preachy, but I am a water dog in Chinese astrology and I can’t help but flow to what I feel is right at the time… my apologies.

I better stop there.

Thanks for reading and much love to all of you!

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Filed under Defining myself, poetry

The first time that I saw you

The first time that I saw you
You took my heart away
You restored my faith in humanity when I was learning to hate
It’s been so long since I felt this way
I thought it could never be
But the first time I saw your face you was the one for me!
You broke away my shadows of all the years I’ve suffered alone
You took my hand and guided me, to a place I never roamed.

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