Tag Archives: Dreams

Just one game…

I’m a recovering gaming addict.

I used to play games for hours when I was bedbound sick every single day, right up until around Easter 2022 when I decided enough is enough!

I am tired of being sick and gaming and doing nothing else – I am tired of pretending to be a farmer on Sims4 because I can’t garden anymore.  I am tired of being a Sims character with a dog, because I can’t have a dog.  I am tired of living a virtual life!

I knew that once I gave up gaming that I might go round the twist pretty quickly because it was the only thing that took my mind off the pain I have every day.

But I came to the conclusion that if I wasn’t gaming as much, then I would be practising art and writing more and for a time that was true.

You have no idea how much I actually miss gaming!

Especially since today I learned that Sims4 updates are becoming cooler than ever!

Sims4 wasn’t the only game I was addicted to when I was a gamer in early 2022 – no – I loved Rome Total war and a Warhammer card game – I loved Bee swarm simulator on Roblox and other games on Roblox too, since I was a toddler I have been a gamer chick!

It was something I held in shame for most of my life, but around the end of 2021 I started to become proud of it and even thought about being a gamer on YouTube doing reviews because of free promotional stuff peeps get on there!

But then I started to try and get mature.

I don’t know why I wanted to do that, because giving up gaming is the only thing that I did – everything else about me is as immature as ever and I am not ashamed to consider myself one of life’s Peter Pan types.

On Twitter today I posted how I want to play Sims4 again today and how I want to eat popcorn and game all night and I really do – but it won’t actually happen… why?

My big gaming machine is downstairs in the living room and we only have heating down there for two hours a day and those two hours are around the time I would eat dinner approximately.  Henry has the habit these days whenever he sees me on that machine he either wants to play himself so I can’t enjoy my time on it – or he will try to control which games I play so he can observe or play with me through his laptop – so it’s never my time anymore!

I am starting to get back into the gaming mind-set for the last three days because Henry demanded I go on Facebook Trainstation to play with him for half an hour because he wants boosts and international trains from me to help him get an achievement.

I don’t particularly like Trainstation because its more or less the same all the time and I am bored of it, I got bored of it around five years ago.

But I have got roped into about an hour of that a day since the weekend and its boring – plus I am a little upset it is eating into the time for the only game I play these days which is FlightRising.

I play flightrising as my writing warm up exercise for about 45 to 90 minutes a day, thanks to Trainstation I am only there for ten minutes just to feed the dragons and turn their eggs and scavenge.

I am upset because I have projects I wanted to do on that; I wanted to gene up some of my baby nocturnes from the Night of the Nocturnes festival and level them all up to 25 in the coliseum to sell, because they are all 1st generation babies, which makes them extra special to other gamers.

I can earn approximately 300k of treasure in game per day, but at this rate, with Henry’s demands for Train station, I am barely able to get 30k a day now.  Ordinarily that would mean I could splice a gene every two days, but now it could take a month!

I seem to be losing more and more ability to do what I want or need in every manner these days, even eat – it’s all so dumb – everything thing has been taken out of my control!

It’s not just Paul interfering anymore with what I do, it’s now Henry.

I can’t eat most of my dinners anymore, because it’s really stressful.  It’s stressful to sit at the dining table with my family, because of the arguments and when I get tense I can’t eat or I start purging, so oftentimes I am going hungry or eating in vain because I can’t keep it down!

Since Henry has been diagnosed with autism it’s like it has given Henry permission to completely revert back to being a toddler!

I go to the toilet and I am disturbed all the time, because he is demanding attention.  I wouldn’t mind, I would love to give him attention and get him off the laptop and talk with me – but he does it every time I go to the toilet – I am deaf, I can’t hear him through the door and when I finish he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.  This is starting to mess up my system if you get me?

Not that you needed to know that, but this is how highly stressed I am these days living here – I have stomach ache a lot and the only time I can relax toileting these days is after 1am when I know the whole house is going to be quiet and not disturb me!

It’s not right living like this and when I talk to people about their behaviour here, it gets vicious – it gets nasty, I just can’t talk to them anymore, they just won’t be civilised with each other or to me anymore!

I am severely depressed by it all because I feel so trapped here and I am!

I just can’t seem to do anything!

A simple thing like eating a meal, going to the toilet or playing a half hour game on my big machine can cause huge ructions and stress!

I am having nightmares about it – seriously!

The amounts of boring things I used to do day to day is actually becoming something like Ground Hog Day dreams at night time – so I am not getting any respite from reality lately.

I am waking up, thinking certain things have been done, to find they haven’t been – then the realisation it was just a dream starts to eat away at me and I start feeling hopeless and tearful again – because I was pretty sure I swept the stairs last night!

I was pretty sure we bought the new mop.

I was pretty sure the bad neighbour was seen moving out yesterday!

I am pretty sure I found my missing vampire files last night! 

It’s all really sending me around the twist now.

I really feel like I am descending into madness and everything is like déjà vu or repeating itself! 

Maybe I am already dead and I am trapped in limbo like my mum always said I would be, because I am not baptised and was born out of wedlock – I am after all, in her opinion “The Devil’s child” anyway! 

Thanks for reading and pray for my sanity please!

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Fear

I am exhausted by your fears

I feel them as deep as my own

There is nothing to worry about

Courage you should hone

I won’t bite your head off

Or throw away your dreams

Fear makes everything, not what it seems!

Don’t trust the fear that is deep within your heart

Fear is only there, to keep you in the dark!

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The butterflies sting

I told you not to touch the butterfly

Lest she falls apart

I told you not to touch her

But you couldn’t help your heart

Now she’s broken into bits

She’s fading fast like snow

Because of broken dreams

You have caused her woe

You couldn’t help but touch her wings

You couldn’t leave her be

Now she’s melted in your hand

But you still don’t see

You are to blame for her little life

Fading and now it’s gone

You couldn’t help but touch her

Though you knew it’s wrong

You were enchanted by her spirit

You were enamoured by her wings

You really thought your touch was light

You didn’t think you’d sting

But I knew the butterfly

And her heart was made of snow

To touch her has killed her

Now you cry with woe

Maybe you are now a butterfly

And now you fly on delicate wings

Maybe someone will hear you cry

Don’t touch me, it will sting!

Poor little butterflies

Unloved and forever alone

Because their heart can’t take it

Their broken hearts unsewn

And people think they fake it

Though they surely do not

But to touch a butterfly wings

Will cause those wings to rot

Do not touch a butterfly

Let them flitter on and pass you by

If they land upon you – great!

But please do not make that mistake!

Do not touch those delicate wings

Do not be the butterflies’ sting

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I had a little dog and beetle was his name

I had a weird dream last night that I had a little black pug sized dog called Beetle and someone was trying to take him away from me!

He was called beetle because he had hair loss on the top of his head in the shape of a scarab beetle.

Weird dream, I know, but I have had stranger ones.

Thanks for reading.

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A silly dream

One thing I didn’t realise or remember about having an Alexa Echo Dot thingy, is that I can get to hear my kindle books on it, spoken aloud by Alexa herself!  I am excited about that because my Kindle stopped working around two years ago I had loads of books on it, downloaded a load of free classic literature.

Today I sat through and heard the first three chapters of The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole, for the first time – it’s quite a good read actually.  I have wanted to read that story for years!

I can totally understand why so many classic horror novelists have owed their inspiration to it!

Because of the book and because of the music, I have found myself daydreaming about my vampires again – yes I know there are no vampires in the story, but still, the thought is there.

The music I have been listening today have been my vampire playlist, but I have started to create a new vampire playlist now, one that concentrates mostly on classical music because of the time period I am thinking about.

My music tastes are more than just a little bit eclectic; I do in fact listen to classical music about half the time actually and my paternal family has always been into classical music and that side of the family has always been musical and involved with entertainment in some manner of speaking.

I for example, was classically trained in opera as a young child, until my mum got fed up forking out the money for something she didn’t find productive, my dad and his family were very distressed at her stopping this.

I love a lot of different types of musical interests, Jazz, soul, rock and alternative with classical or classical fusion and world music.  I have never been to a music concert before, unless you include local classical orchestra that is and nobody really wants to hear that I have gone to those, because they expect you to say some cooler like a rock band or something.

But I have always been a huge fan of Vivaldi, George Gershwin, Beethoven, Vaughn Williams and Tchaikovsky to name but a few.  I even like modern classical from John Williams, Alan Silvestre and Brad Fiedel which are movie composers.

I am one of these strange people that when she watches a movie, she lets the whole thing consume her – the visuals, the acting, the audio – background music, it is all taken in by me.  I am not happy to just watch a movie and enjoy it; I like to know where that music came from in scene whatever and well that’s just me, I am a geek, what can I say?

Since I was very small I had loads of dreams about being some kind of composer myself, lyricist, but also a director or something along those lines.  But the thing is I could never narrow down what I wanted to focus on, because I like the whole caboodle. 

I want to be an artist, I want to do the music, I want to design the costumes, I want to help the props, I want to write songs, I want to write the stories and for a good few years as a child I used to roleplay being a radio DJ too!

But because I can’t focus which one, I never threw myself into it, because I would literally run around trying to do the whole thing!

I have so many interests and I let a project consume me, I remember when I was in college I was part of an amateur dramatics group and I couldn’t choose my focus and my friends loved me, but found my lack of focus on one or two aspects very frustrating and distracting!

They loved my dedication but would often cry into their hands about “Tina, please just focus”!

Most of them pushed me into the acting, writing or prop making as they felt those things were my best strengths.  But I wasn’t keen on the acting, though they kept trying to steer me into it as they believed I was amazing.  But I didn’t want that, I knew that, I knew that I didn’t want that part of it, but I wanted everything else, lol.

In the last few weeks of being in that group, I was primarily writer and they enjoyed it – but then they started to try and shift my genre focus.   “You do better horror and psychological thrillers than anything else” they said.

By that time I knew my time was up, because my mum didn’t like me doing this in my spare time after college, she wanted me home in the evenings and didn’t like how many friends I was making and didn’t like me leaving the college to go into London with my friends to do things like street miming.

I love mime artists.

Recently I have new desires and I am not taking myself seriously over it, because I am starting way too late.

This new desire is one of the reasons why I am losing weight and trying to get good fitness levels back.  I want to join an adult beginner’s gymnastics class, as silly as that sounds.

Because my whole life I have wanted to do something and I had never confessed it to anyone because of how stupid it is!

I am one of these people who want to run away with the circus, kind of – but not quite!

Since I was a child I would often find myself listening to classical music and imagining myself as a circus acrobat, primarily trapeze, trampolines or tight rope walking.  I often saw myself in the circus glamour and doing my stuff – but more recently, as silly as it sounds, I have thought of myself doing this in a comedy sketch form.  A clown in fact, but I am not interested in any circus.  I am inspired by the Cirque Du Soleil.

I know it will take me around fifteen years to get to the standard they would hire, so this is why I am not taking myself seriously.

It’s just a stupid big dream of mine.

I have even thought about the clown design I would have for myself.

I don’t want it as a long term career, I just want to do my show on tour for a year and then give up, because it is something I would have worked hard to do and ticked off my bucket list – one of the BIG dream tick offs!

But as I said, I don’t think it will ever happen and it is just a silly dream after all, I can barely walk two miles without coming to my knees right now – still recovering from eight years of bedbound sickness, this is why I am not taking it seriously.

But I am totally in love with The Cirque Du Soleil.

I sent an email to a local disabled adult beginners gymnastics tutor today, she said twenty hours a week for ten to fifteen years and I could do my dream and no, forty years old is not too old to be accomplished in that!

There are many silly dreams I don’t share.

Thanks for reading!

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Filed under About Me, Defining myself

Who are you racer?

It’s not that far to go

Before you touch your dreams

Just one more little step to take

It’s shorter than it seems

Don’t be silly and give up now

Don’t you dare throw in the towel!

How do you know that it’s all wrong?

Did you complete a whole furlong?

Did you give up in your chase?

Are you sitting down in a race?

Maybe you do need to rest

But continue soon in your quest

Don’t let fear master you

Don’t forget – who are you?

I don’t believe that persons lie

I don’t think you’ll give up and cry

I know you are strong and they are wrong

So why aren’t you listening to this song?

There is no rejection here for you

Just go on and ask…

Who are you?

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Dear snake

Dear snake

Do not give up

Slither along the rocky path and find your dreams

Though it is a bumpy ride

At least you can say you’ve tried

And maybe it wasn’t all as it seems?

Drink from the stream of life

And live and love well

Because if you can’t get to the stream of life

How will you know life’s swell?

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Precious time

For the past few weeks my brain has been more than just a tad topsy-turvy. 

I have been suffering from insomnia for years but since around November my insomnia has got far worse, sleeping an average of just four hours a day and it really is day time sleeping too – often getting to sleep around 8am to wake up around noon.

It feels so alien and wrong to me, I have never been one who likes to sleep and I have never been one who accepts people who sleep-in; I am one of those people who generally have little respect for people who sleep in bed past 10am (even on a Sunday)and here I am, doing just that!  In fact, before I got sick, I was disgusted by people who couldn’t get out of bed by 8:30am!

But there you go, things change and not always for the better!

For me it is inconvenient to be asleep during the day because Henry is at school and whilst I am fighting with my insomnia and sleeping whilst he is at school it means I am practically getting nothing done at all for weeks now!

No reading, hardly much writing, no art yet, listening to music, not much meditation or conversation, not much of anything. 

When I am awake I am tired to the extent of feeling faint most of the time that all I am able to do is sit and stare and try to maintain consciousness.

So if the quality of the writing in my blog has been really bad lately, you now know why!

Last night was an exception for me considering these past few weeks, I managed to get to sleep by 2:30am and wake up around 10am, which is amazing considering what’s happened sleep wise for the past two months!

I’ve done more in these three hours today, than I have for the whole of last week!

If anybody out there knows me, they know that one thing I can’t stand more than sleepy heads, is people who waste their time by choosing to do nothing!

I have a huge intolerance for time wasting, unless it’s purely for relaxation, recuperation or fun!

I am easily frustrated by myself if I find I am not being productive in at least something – it doesn’t have to consistently be the same one thing, as long as I am being productive in something!  Such as cleaning, reading, honing a skill, writing, socialising, exercising, bonding with a pet, gardening or keeping my brain sharp with a strategy or puzzle game.  Anything which doesn’t contribute to some kind of betterment in the future, or productivity is a waste of time!  Unless as I have said, it is for fun or recuperation – this is where TV and music comes into play for me.

Because for me, the TV and music can be very productive, even though I might just be sitting and watching or sitting and listening, because not only am I relaxing and having fun, it adds to the stimulus for ideas to be creatively productive in the future or a form of research – this is something non creative people can never understand!

Though even watching TV these days is a task not worth fighting for as I can never watch anything in full without being disturbed or someone randomly coming over and turning the channel without asking if I am watching it and to fight to keep it on is not worth it and too much energy!  I live with selfish people who don’t care and are stronger minded than I am, so they walk all over me! 

The idea of sitting down and doing nothing in a brainless manner, even for relaxation has never really made sense to me; Paul does it all the time, he sits down sometimes for hours and I ask him what he is thinking about and it is always the same answer “nothing”, I don’t get it!

Even when I meditate I never go into that state of “no mind” so I suppose then by meditation standards I am doing it all wrong?  But I just can’t seem to grip the state of “no mind” relaxation.  For me, when I relax I suppose it’s a sort of astral travel?  I am wondering round in the throes of my mind in forests, having conversations with people, thinking deeply about anything and often find myself doing the things in my head that I would like to do physically if only!

When I was bedbound sick, you have no idea how crazy it made me just sitting in bed all day every day for so many years just existing as it appeared to me to just suffer!

I exist purely for germs, was my everyday thought – to give life to infectious little bugs as a host and nothing more.  As dramatic as it seems, that’s how I felt!

Sickness, procrastination and doing nothing, is highly inconvenient for me – as is sleep, going to the toilet and travelling in a car, because of the little activities I can do during those times!  Time wasting, can’t stand it!

Yet I’ve done it so much over the past eight years whilst recuperating from ill-health and you have no idea how much guilt I put on myself for it either!

The only time that time wasting is ok for me, is in pleasurable pursuits, then I can waste lots of time doing those things!  I am a hedonist after all! 

But yes, time wasting is my biggest frustration in life and the idea that my health and now insomnia is getting in the way of so much I want to do, life is short as well – is there any wonder why I am often finding myself suicidal?

I wasn’t suicidal before I got sick, in fact I used to be scared of death – but since being ill and lonely, I often crave it now, in fact some days, on bad days, I want to run towards it!

It’s a huge contrast to how I used to be when I lived with my mother, I wanted to be immortal, wanted to become rich enough to invest in discovering the immortal elixir of life and silly ideas like that!

Rich enough to put in research to life extending sciences!

It’s funny now how I don’t think this way anymore, how I just want to fade away because my body insists on being a time wasting shit head, a bum – I don’t like being a bum – don’t respect bums and hate being one, but I am one and you have no idea how much I loathe it and I am fighting against the odds to stop being one!

But the thing is, there is only so much you can do with four hours sleep and a compromised immune system and an NHS system that constantly fails to support you and poverty to boot!

There comes a time when you think about just giving up…

It’s exhausting trying to fight for the little freedoms of everyday life which almost everyone else seems to take for granted!

Those little things other people take for granted, are just mere dreams to me right now.

Thanks for reading!

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Dance to the beat of life!

Sometimes we need grey skies to make it rain

Sorry if those days cause you pain

Let’s hope the sun peaks from the clouds

So we can have a rainbow party so loud!

So we can dance away the insanity of life

Dance away the strife

Because it hurts like a knife when life is grey!

Because life is more than this they say!

So dance to the beat of life and be merry

Dance with your friends, Leah, John and Jerry

So come on now, let’s plough a field of dreams

You need the rain it seems

To make it grow

And it will grow

Just wait and see

You’ll be free some day!

Yippee!

Because everything is temporary

Love and hate

Peace and war

 Rain and sun and so much more

It won’t last, so have a blast when the sun shines down on you!

That’s all you can do

Right now!

Dance to the beat of life…

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Our ancestors are having tea!

So, you know I am spiritual right?  Well recently there has been some new spirits visiting me and they are visiting me because they are the ancestors of someone who is coming into my life and they have told me that they are determined to adopt me into their family!

So whether this person who is coming into my life knows they are doing this or not, I haven’t a clue – probably not, but his family seems determined to have me in the family! 

I have been meditating and speaking with my ancestors a lot recently too, because they have made their presence known to me and they have also told me that his ancestors are getting to know them too – like they are bonding because they believe things are imminent! 

So they are basically having tea and talks about us together! Apparently we have a similar life where we are multi-faith people, half Jewish and could turn back to the old family way together, which is exciting for them! Especially my granny Annie (great great grandmother), who was the last proper Jew in my family before Great Granny Rose married a catholic and gave birth to my maternal grandfather!

I still haven’t a clue what’s going on and the dreams are getting stronger with this guy now! 

These new spirits are very nice and friendly, there is a lot of feminine energy there and there is a woman in particular who is making it her mission to help me develop my psychic skills even stronger, which is why I seem to have developed a seemingly new and all absorbing hobby of tarot reading – it’s not a new hobby, I am just learning new ways in reading that I never knew before thanks to this lady! 

This lady has a very Eastern European accent; she has beautiful black wavy hair and a strong face, almost square shaped and long eyelashes.  Despite having an Eastern European accent, she dresses in very Middle Eastern or perhaps Indian style clothing, or at least they look almost like saris to me.  I quizzed her about it and she says she is part Iranian but many generations ago that probably the guy who is interested in me doesn’t even know he has Iranian in him!

I know the person who is coming into my life reads my blog – they’ve told me he does, recently a conversation with the ancestors have told me that they love reading me so much that they are addicted to my writings and learning anything they can about me.

They have also said he is excited to see my larger works as he has a lot of faith in my creativity and would like to eventually be a part of my life and brainstorm with me! 

Their situation is a difficult one and they are having a hard time transitioning into my life like they would like, for them, everything has to be perfect.

From what I understand from my conversation with the ancestors, their ancestors have been frequently communicating with my ancestors too as they are convinced we will be joining families quite soon!  So our ancestors are making themselves comfortable with each other it seems, in fact sometimes in my dreams I have had dreams of your ancestors moving in with mine and we are unpacking lots of boxes and making room for people! 

They have suggested that I should let you know now, that there is no fear of rejection because you and I are perfect for each other – we balance each other out, we are exactly what each other needs and we have similar pasts to each other, though one is more extreme than the other.

You are trying to keep me off guard by being elusive with your description, so I was warned you are trying to trick me so I won’t instantly realise who you are!  Because you’re shy! 

They also wanted me to state that I am not naturally an introvert, I am not someone who enjoys too much solitude but I am someone who is very prone to anxiety, such as nervous stomach – lol – but that’s purely because I have never been one who can tolerate too many surprises.  I was warned you are an impulsive person and so anxiety will perhaps be part of my life!

You see, they felt I needed to share that because you’ve voiced these concerns with them! 

But you shouldn’t worry, about the fact I won’t socialise – you shouldn’t worry about the fact I don’t want children, because I do!  There is only one thing that which worries me though, for some reason or another my ancestors say that I will travel a lot with you… that does worry me because I am not used to that kind of life.  I also don’t have a passport!  I have also been warned I will be physically exhausted for a while too, because you are a person who is constantly on their feet and I will have to be the same until I am used to it as apparently you will want to drag me everywhere with you! 

Also, don’t worry about being too suffocating with me – to be perfectly honest I’ve been so starved of love and attention for so long I think I need it!

I am not a demanding person either, I am quite easy-going and happy go lucky, I am not as gloomy as you seem to think I am… I am a playful and tender, understanding and I communicate a lot with people in my life, in fact people struggle to shut me up!

I annoy Paul with my constant questions about his opinion on anything and everything – he isn’t a very social person and I find it hard that he isn’t as talkative as I am and my family.

I can literally talk about anything in a very prolonged way if there is nothing else to talk about, so I never run out of things to say!

When I am nervous I tend to talk like my words are trying to catch a train and that can give some people a headache, I am terrible around introverts because I think I just make them feel tense!

When I find other people who are similar to me, introverts of society tend to keep away, lol!   As we tend to become fast talking foreigners for them!  Well this is how Paul describes me whenever I talk to my friend from the village Dee, she’s totally like me!

I am also very observant and I will break my observances at random into the conversation and most people miss the things I have seen and get confused because they are always slow to actually follow my finger at what I just pointed at!

So yeah… that’s me…

Oh and they wanted me to share that your hunches about certain people are totally right!

Also, they say you are not as shallow as I fear you might be… because in my dream time I am quite aware you are a bit of a… you are a vain person… but your ancestors say that you are vain but not shallow!

Hope they’re right!

Because this stresses me out!  I was planning to reach my goal weight by July/September and they keep telling me, well he will be here before then sweetie!

Also please stop giving people a hard time just because you are anxious about approaching me, the ancestors have said you are starting to get out of character a bit with your behaviour.  Calm down!

Relax, take a deep breath… I am not a bitch monster sweetie!

Oh and I have to let you know that I am definitely quite a passive person who goes with the flow and the only time I don’t go with the flow and become turbulent is if I think the person I love isn’t looking after themselves properly, then the maternal instinct of mine kicks in like a super mum and kicks your ass into gear!

You will eat properly, you will be healthy, you will eat this soup when you have a cold or this curry because I love you and you are not allowed to be ill!

That’s totally me!

Just don’t say no to me when I care!

You can say no to me any other time, other than when I am looking out for you!  LOL

You are going to be loved so there!

I have also been stressed out by how childish and wacky I am –as this guy seems quite a serious person sometimes in my dreams.  But apparently, no, he will thrive on it!

I hope so!

Just needed to get this out there, as the ancestors say he needs the boost, he needs these fears allayed!

No rejection here – passive, calm, communicative, playful, childish and don’t intend to grow up or old, creative, friendly, social, air-headed but also slightly nerdy (as in likes comics, Terry Pratchett and other fandoms) has a wacky sense of glamour and fashion!  But bohemian, nature’s child and dungaree wearer in casuals!  Always had a goal of 5 children and a hobby farm or a homestead kind of life whilst being an artist and writer!  I love animals and wildlife and nature – I am environmentally conscious and spiritual and believe in the powers of crystals!  I am also inclined in the future to return to my ancestral root of Judaism, I was never baptised and I have strong leanings there even if I don’t know much. 

My only negatives are, I don’t have any wanderlust, I easily get anxious stomach, I am deaf, weak immune system, can be a clingy attention seeker and quite submissive even to the wrong people sometimes, unless there is a very strong dominant character in my life who is protective enough to make me steer clear of others that way!  I talk too much about everything and I hate gossip and normal small talk!  I also hate being alone and doing anything at all alone!  In fact I clam up when I am alone, even in my own home – I do better in small groups of familiar people or crowds!  I am happiest when around a dog, if alone.

So there you go… me in a nutshell.

So… stop being like me… anxious…

Or we won’t get anywhere!

LOL

Thanks for reading!

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