Tag Archives: commitment

Embarrassed by being overly optimistic

This is embarrassing, but for the past few weeks, life here has been difficult and almost non-existent;

Henry became ill and had a lot of time off from school, this made my vulnerable immune system become overloaded with new bugs to deal with and I had a chest infection (not covid) that was so bad, I sprained all the muscles in my chest and back so badly all I could do for the past four weeks was sleep or just remain in bed.

I am still not over the infection, but a majority of the pain is leaving and I am able to be on my desktop for no longer than an hour a day now.

I have tried to write my stories on the laptop but I am still not used to typing at my speed in a different angle and it isn’t working as well, I tried to go back to my preferred writing method of handwriting, but my hands are swelling and holding a pen is becoming difficult.

Along with this my appetite is minimal and I am barely able to consume more than 1000 calories a day anymore, without purging, to say the least, I am becoming sicker by the day and I am still determined to fight whatever it is doing this!

But my ideas about timelines of productivity may just be an over optimistic approach which will inevitably lead to more failure than I am willing to tolerate.

I am trying despite the challenges.

I must admit that I am afraid of becoming a published author, simply because my health dictates to me already that I do not have the energy or the health behind me, to even maintain my own house and personal relationship commitments, let alone going out and having to commit myself to marketing and book signing events.

So with this as a factor in my life, I know, I may be accepted for publication, but I may not ever make it the big time, simply because my health dictates that I am housebound almost all the time and bedbound for around 12 to 16 weeks a year!

With that said, I do hope that I will find a compassionate team to work with some day and maybe, perhaps, I won’t need to stress myself out about failing people within the publishing community.

Hopefully there are agents and publishers I can work with, who fully understand the complexities of disability and failing immune systems, I mean, there are authors who manage to have a career in prison, so why not someone like me who is housebound through sickness?

Thank you for reading and take care!

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Apologies there will be some changes here

Once a week I will post up my practise pictures for the week, committing to something daily for just the blog is becoming a bit of a struggle, sorry about this.  I am also going to be reducing my daily prompts to becoming weekly prompts instead; this will help you to be able to produce something to share as you’ll have more time to think about it.  I would really like to see how people are using the prompts I give.

Also I want to try and concentrate on posting more, especially poetry as I have had quite a few private messages telling me how some of my poetry is helping people with depression, broadening their minds and motivating them; so I feel I owe my readers some more poetry than I have been producing of late.

I would also like to start posting a short story at least once a week myself, but I can’t fully commit to the fact that I will actually post a short story a week, just yet.

I am really trying to concentrate hard on producing full length novels and practising art.

I apologise for any disappointments this may have caused.

Thank you for reading and hopefully understanding ❤

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Filed under About my work