My depression was getting better and the suicidal thoughts were abating on a huge scale three years ago, because of gardening. Last year my neighbour has got into a new relationship with a man who is creepy and weird and likes to harass and make me uncomfortable when in my garden to such an extent I haven’t touched or been in my garden to do anything since September 2020.
The thing is, Paul says there is nothing we can do about a neighbour who is like that unless he becomes an actual physical threat, unless we record him on film doing things. We don’t have the money to set up cameras with microphones to keep tabs on his behaviour so Paul more or less has a shrug it off attitude about it. So I don’t garden anymore.
I miss it a lot and I wish we could move away, but Paul just can’t. We can’t afford to for one thing and for another, this house is suffering from rising damp and the roof is broken in two parts. We also have persistent black mould, which we have to constantly clean away. The house is worth good money, but we have to knock 40k off it because of its condition, there are no houses in this area we could buy with what would be left for us, on the sale of this. Well, not a house in which I could have a garden, there are houses but their gardens are literally 10ft by 10ft, they are basically courtyards of townhouse terraces.
It wouldn’t be so bad but this neighbour is also wilfully destructive, he will lean over the fence and literally cut anything he sees peeping up, whether it is leaning into his garden or not. He has leant over the fence quite a lot on some cases and nearly fell into our garden to do so in order to cut branches of our pine and ash. He has started to do something I don’t like as well, which is he is trying to reach over to get my blackberry and train it on a chicken wire netting he has placed on his fence, but Paul keeps going out to snip it just as he thinks he has a chance to get it.
He is a rotten man, there are other things but I won’t mention them. He also accidentally on purpose stumbles off our shared garden path in the front garden to stomp all over my forget-me-nots, dahlias, lilies, nasturtiums and I have caught him trying to take tomatoes, strawberries and mint from the garden too.
He doesn’t like birds sitting on the fence; he will scare them away or spray them with hoses. He knows we have two bird feeders and like birds in our garden, but he makes sure they don’t stay long!
My cousin taught me a saying once and I laughed at it, it really does apply to this man “that I can’t believe he was the sperm that won”!
I miss gardening and I miss lounging in the garden for hours on end reading from April to October every year.
I really have a strong desire to create a food forest garden, but with a nature hating neighbour like that, it is not going to be easy. Our gardens are 30ft wide and 50ft long in the back garden; he has decked three quarters of his garden and terraced it making the other bits just lawn.
He is also an insect squisher. It is hard for someone like me who loves nature and wants to protect it and rewild spaces with my silly hippy idealisms, to see that someone like that exists only to be destructive as it would seem.
I am particularly sad that I am very passive and I am not known for being particularly assertive, for me to live with a man who is the same. I feel there is no defence against such a rotter and I have heard him loudly proclaim in big raucous laughter to his brother and friends that we don’t care what he does to our garden and that makes me feel very hurt and angry and sad.
I asked Paul to get some kind of advice about this, but he seems to think it’s all hopeless, there is no one and nothing we can do against such a person.
So I don’t know what to do.
I hope he doesn’t stay there, but it looks like he might be there for a long haul.
Happy reading I suppose.