Tag Archives: bear

I trust wildlife

One of my crows died this morning, Kerr.

I heard a hullabaloo outside and looked out the window to see their offspring mourning on the grass verge and the rest of the murder in the sky trying to dive bomb away the local buzzard which was trying to swoop down to eat the remains.

I liked Kerr, he was quite old.

It’s odd it should happen the day after I was talking to Paul about how I haven’t seen Scruffy for weeks, another crow I like.  A female, her mate is called the Sentinel by me, as he seems to watch the house and me more than the others.

Barbar was really distressed.

I’ve lost two of my crows in a short space of time as well as a magpie, which I believed was killed by his own family.

He was a runt by comparison, I called him Rocky.  He would sit on the window ledge and was so tame I could nearly stroke him when the window was opened.  He had an obsession with a pebble that he carried everywhere with him, he was unusually thin and although he was about a year old – he was still being fed by his family, sometimes forcibly.  I think they killed him as he was a burden, he never grew up and he was quite strange for a magpie.

I miss him too.

I am silly like this, I get attached to the local wildlife and name them and I will try to tame them when they come into my garden and care for them. 

A few years ago Paul wanted to take me to live with him in Canada, but our plans fell through due to my ill-health.  He always said, he could imagine me on the porch surrounded by bears and raccoons and hand feeding them berries, treating them all like pets!

I actually think that would have happened too, if we had gone!

I am rather shamanic and very brave around all animals.

I have nearly touched a real live bear once too – they were passive, I got within two inches of their snout before their keeper stopped me in my tracks.  You see I had found a way through the bars of a zoo cage to touch them.  It was a friendly bear and it sniffed my hand and tilted its head like it was going to let me stroke it.  That zoo made renovations very quickly after this happened.

I had a deep sense of trust it wasn’t going to hurt me, because I could read its energy. 

But that’s just me, a feral creature in her own right with a deep understanding for nature; humans are far more dangerous than any bear!

All I think about is love, I send love to the animal, peace, I don’t have a fleeting feeling of fear at all – I feel happy, content, loving, peaceful and trusting and say over in my head like I am talking to the animal itself – I just want to share my love, I won’t hurt you, let me touch you. 

Thanks for reading!

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Oops, how silly…

A genuine conversation between me and one of my spirit guides today.

They wanted me to focus on Lenormand cards one for me and one for another person to show me what things are like between us really!

I dropped an anchor for me and a bear for them! 

My spirit guides told me – put them both together and what do you have?

I said

A  PIRATE BEAR!

No silly, a strong protective relationship where you both have the same objectives!

I think my spirit guides wonder why they ever bother with me at times!

They are trying to get me to spiritually connect better with the person who is supposed to be in my life, apparently they are good at transcendental so whatever I am doing in meditation with them is really happening between us on a spiritual level, only I am a weaker meditator than they are for some reason!

Thank for reading!

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I was made

I was created to love you and hold you in my arms

Stroke your hair as you snuggle, whilst I fall for your charms

I was made to help you, feel like a child again

Only this time you are nurtured and I’ll help the pain to end

I was created for you, so you had someone to hold

Someone to always be there for you, someone you could mould

We’ll be like peacocks you and I and the world will be in awe

Because together you and I, we will surely soar

You need a playmate and a friend, who’ll have patience, love and care

And you will be my guardian, my big ferocious bear

You needed someone like me, to follow in your games

And be a changeling for you, nothing is ever the same

You want a docile woman, who will be like a little doe

Who tirelessly follows wherever you may go

You want a dedicated woman who will pep talk you and soar

But ultimately you want her to match you and more!

You want me to be creative; I can do that for you

You love brainstorming with me it’s your favourite thing to do

We are both like children, enthusiastic in our play

What is life going to be like tomorrow?  It won’t be like today!

I’m an undemanding woman, well, outside love and foreplay!

I hope we will be together some day?

I am an unassuming woman, I don’t want a lot

Just lots of love and snuggles and some babies in a cot

I just want a garden and a few little pets

But outside that, I just want you because with you I am set!

I can’t wait will we’re together

But I don’t think we will

Because there is something stopping you

And it makes me ill

I know I’ll die without you

If you chose not to come

Because I was made for you and that is why I’ve come

I am going to stop this poem

Because I’ve said all I can

But you need to know this one thing…

I am lost without my man!

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1st reading part 1

I like to do a once a month tarot and oracle reading on average.  I am not confident of my reading ability, though many people who I have read for in the past have indicated that I am very accurate and spooky.

I have decided to share the monthly readings online, because a spirit told me that someone is interested in the mysticism that’s in my life and wants to see more of it, they also indicated that our cards might be similar…  I wonder who that is?  Let me know if it’s you in the comments below!

My oracle reading for the next four weeks;

1 – Druid animal oracle by Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm

EAGLE

This card indicates that I have a huge decision to make this month.

I may also make a powerful alliance with someone.

There will definitely be some kind of detachment from something or someone or rejuvenation because of one or both of the above.

I may have to have courage in whatever this card is indicating, the decision or the person or the situation.

2 – The Lovers Oracle pack

MANIFESTING MIRACLES

My dreams are soon to become a reality.

I have to trust my heart and continue to follow in its guidance.

3 – Chakra wisdom oracle cards by Tori Hartman

VICTIM

This card represents the Heart Chakra – so that chakra could be the most dominant this month particularly with the below meaning behind it;

I am going to be in denial of a situation that will occur to me

I am asked to make a major decision regarding my whole life

I will feel delusional about what is offered, I won’t believe the person, but apparently it’s not a trick as the other cards in this reading will show and indicate…

The offer is about both growth and empowerment, but other cards in the reading indicate it could be a new relationship too, where growth & empowerment will be important throughout that relationship

The card is VICTIM – but this indicates I could be the victim of my own inability to see that I am worthy of this potential offer or relationship!

4 – The Spirit of the Animals Oracle – I was only meant to draw one card from this pack but 3 fell when I had barely shuffled after asking my question and I read them all as I felt an instinct to do so! 

4.1 BEE – COMMUNITY

The bee indicates an increase in communication, community spirit or social matters in my life.

It is also a powerful manifestation card, meaning that something I have wanted a long time is coming to me. 

It is also a card meaning reward, gifts or an offer.

This is another reason why I believe it is a new relationship coming into my life and they are coming with an offer that will change my life.

4.2 GRIZZLY BEAR – POWER

The grizzly bear shows me that there is an increase in my personal power coming soon, or a person coming into my life that has a lot of personal power.

If it is a person coming into my life, this person is strong, powerful, protective and loving towards me. 

4.3 EAGLE – MASTERY

To have two eagles from two different packs indicates an increase in all the eagle energies of the reading, so it is intensified.

But this particular oracle deck suggests that this card for this reading mainly indicates letting go of the past.  This is yet another reading I have had a lot of in the past nine weeks about how my life is going to be turned literally upside down but for the better in every possible area of my life!

All previous readings I have had from the past few weeks indicated to me that November 2022, February 2023, July 2023 and September 2023 are all going to be major months in my life with big upheavals or events.  In a previous reading it indicates in July 2023 there will potentially be immigration, leaving my homeland not just the house but the whole country!  But I have no plans for that – yet… what’s changing?  Well another reading a few days ago showed me that July 30th could be a wedding date, now that’s super-fast, if this is a new relationship that’s happening!

5 – Tea Leaf Fortune Cards by Rae Hepburn

I dropped 2 from the first of two piles.  I read them both.

5.1 DRAGON

Beware of self-delusions.  This is another card which has indicated the above again… I have a hard time accepting when anything good happens to me, I am always expecting a trick behind it, you know?

5.2 CLUB

Someone will make a decision for me or will force me to make a decision or do something – again, a decision to react.

Pile 2 is next as this is a huge deck that needs to be split…

5.3 BUTTERFLY

A change for the better! 

Again over the past three months, I have got a lot of cards about how I am going through a major transformation.

I thought it would be interesting to let you know how these cards were arranged so far…

The bee had the dragon underneath it – which shows that the decision I have to make, I will probably not feel worthy of again, so this is definitely a major message here.

The grizzly bear had the club directly underneath that, which is kind of scary when you see a grizzly bear with a club in its hands!  Lol – but on a serious note, this is about power play, someone wants a decision and they might not be afraid to make it for me if I am too insecure or dithery about it.  Remember this person indicates a loving, strong and protective person.

The eagle has the butterfly underneath it, which shows us that I will be letting go of the past because of a major transformation happening in my life, the transformation is happening because of this major decision and potential alliance/relationship and I am required to have courage and move onto greener pastures.

So that’s what’s going to be happening in the next four weeks according to my oracle cards of the reading. 

The tarot decks will be done in part 2.

Thank you for reading!

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Filed under cosmic ordering

Ovipets and health update

Today has been very exciting on Ovipets.com because yesterday they bought out a new species, a bear species the ursa!
I have wanted a bear, dinosaur, crocodile and cow species for a long time. I am so glad it’s the bear.
Unlike most times when they’ve bought out new species, I was actually active on ovipets.com and not on vacation mode and not too sick to play and I actually had 800 credits to generate the new pets, finally and I was one of the first to generate the ursa, in the first 20! So I made 16 pairs, not for a project, because I don’t approve of these rule infested projects, but to have a pair of every available colour except for grey.
Because I am ill a lot, on the days where I am not too bad, I love playing ovipets.com and flight rising as well as online scrabble to pass the time away, because I am often too sick to do anything else than sit down, especially with the dizzy spells I get a lot of when infections are starting up again.
It is games that inspire me to write too, some games give me a sense of mixing up animals to create new species for stories that have never been done before – almost chimera like beings. Others have already been done, like the other day I accidentally went into the fish tab to breed my stallion – oops, but actually in Scottish mythology that exists! The Kelpie, that’s like a mermaid for horses!
Playing ovipets.com in particular has also helped me understand art and colour mixing. I am very popular with people who play ovipets, for the bright colours and rare genes. I rarely sell anything for credits because it’s hard to get your money back once you’ve bought credits. So really, Ovipets is just a hobby for me. I am very generous, but in regards to these new species that come out once in a while, I am not that generous. I don’t randomly give up new species to an unpaid just to be nice. I generate lots and lots of the new species to breed, so in a few days’ time I can then give them out to the AC (Adoption Centre) for the unpaid.
Unlike some members of ovipets too, I don’t ditch the so-called mud coloured pets, because to me, I can work with them, did you know that when you choose the right colours to breed with, you can make a brown pets offspring, orange or even pink? Be more adventurous and don’t ditch the muds and find out for yourselves!
Talking of mud, I am a little disconcerted with the egg of the bear in this game – it’s a beehive shape and when you have black and red it looks bad enough, but two various shades of brown to get that stereotypical grizzly look, looks like something you find on the street by a lazy dog walker!
I mass breed on ovipets.com and I can breed over 300 pets on an average day. My main chosen species are, Equus, Lepus, Lotor, and piscium. I no longer breed Cebidae or Cetacean, because I simply don’t like them on this game. There is nothing against monkeys and sea animals in real life however.
Because I breed a lot, Paul helps me feed the pets whilst we talk in the evenings. He can be there for two hours just clicking feed for me, primarily because our internet is slow lately. But, whereas he would like to do this every day to cut down time, he can only do this really every 3 to 4 days.
He encourages me to breed whatever I want and how much I want, because he sees that lately, it’s the only thing that really perks me up, when they hatch and they are beautiful it makes me happy. Something that is rare lately.
I used to be a very positive and happy person, but four years of constant pain gets to you and wears you down. I didn’t realise that I had a cholesteatoma in both ears until our last consultant discussion; I could be heading towards surgery very soon, though how soon I don’t know. I had a mastoidectomy when I was 17, I can’t have it again in the right ear and because it was completely removed, apparently that’s almost an unheard of practise.
If I end up having the same operation on the left side, I will be unable to bend over and properly care for myself for up to two years, I remember from last time. I have no idea how Paul will cope around the house then, because I will be unable to do the smallest of things for the first year in particular.
I know a lot of people say they’ve had this surgery and I’ve exaggerated, but my consultant has told me that my condition for some unknown reason is the worst his seen in his 30yr career. This new consultant is amazed that I’ve had a total mastoid removal and isn’t too happy to allow that to happen again. He wants to give me a bone-anchored hearing aid and sew the ears up to prevent infections, but personally I don’t see how that’s going to help.
He is also confused about why my mum never allowed me to have my adenoids removed when I had my tonsils out aged 5. I am not too thrilled when he told me that he will remove the cholesteatoma and adenoids at the same time if surgery becomes the option. Which he did hint will more than likely be the case, I won’t know until approximately 8 weeks from now.
Anyway, I hope that I won’t have a bad recovery like I did before, whatever happens.
Since I went back to ovipets last month, I’ve neglected my flight rising a bit. I am finding flight rising boring lately.

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