Tag Archives: balance

Minor surgery in July and a caution…

I am having minor surgery in the last week of July, so for around three days I may not be quite myself – I don’t do well under anaesthetic, so unless I have scheduled posts for then, I might be quiet at the end of July and beginning of August.

I have breathing problems and being on my back can worsen this, because of my sinus issues and the fact that it is likely to be the hottest time of the year too – meaning, I don’t breathe well in the summer anyway… so I am more than a little worried about even such a minor procedure like what I am having… I don’t want to discuss what I am having done, but it is enough for me to go under general, it is worrying.

But because I have been in a state of apathy for the last eight years about being alive, I kind of have a MEH attitude to whether or not it’s serious or not.  In other words, I am not entirely out of the woods for being suicidal, so if I die during it, I don’t care… but I care about the poor doctor who is having me under the knife and I care for my son who will be left behind, because he can’t cope with life at the moment as it is and has been needing a lot of mental health charities himself to get him through the year so far.

So it’s not the matter that I don’t want to die on the table – it’s the matter of, I don’t want people to suffer when I do.

This sets me apart from those people who readily curse others in their lives – it’s not the person you hate that gets the brunt end of that sort of thing – it’s the collateral damage left behind after you succeed with it, with other people in their lives, who you have hurt with your actions!

Think about that…

Karma will balance you out; based on what you do and how many people are affected positively or negatively with what you have done!

It’s not just between you and your victim, you know?

Happy reading…

P.S this is just one or two predicted surgeries for the coming year.

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Filed under About Me

Rethink the light and dark

You drink the blood of gods

Creatures of the light

You drink the blood of mortals

Creatures of the night

You worship wooden idols

Creatures of the light

You worship self-love

Creatures of the night

You creep cautiously past the shadows

Creatures of the light

You creep cautiously everywhere

Creatures of the night

You kill to the point of genocide

Creatures of the light

You kill to survive

Creatures of the night

What is good?

What is bad?

What’s the difference?

It’s all sad

Light and dark is balance true

Light kills dark

chaos ensues

Dark kills light, it is the same

Rethink the light and dark again…

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Filed under Arts & Crafts, poetry

Darkness is where I will be

In the shadows I find my warmth

I find my soul

I find my worth

The light is too harsh for me

It hurts my eyes and expects too much from me

I dream of darkness everyday

I dream and dream my life away

I can’t help it, because I know

That darkness is the place I want to go

The light is too harsh for me

The light blinds me so I can’t see

The light expects too much from me

So in the darkness I will be

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Filed under poetry

balance dance

Someday the golden queen will dance alone, even when she’s gone back home

For scarlet is no friend but foe, she has left the palace you should know

What will happen when she dances free of her opposite camaraderie?

Will the balance tip off the edge?  Will she find another to dance the pledge?

We shan’t know until gold has merged, does it matter to be dis-joined?

Shall we ever dance that dance again or is its end strongly urged?

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Filed under poetry