Tag Archives: abstract

Chess

Life is like a game of chess.

You are a pawn to play.

Life has these strategies to move you along.

Some of them are kind to you and others set you challenges.

Some of the strategies are a complete mystery, a curse or a blessing.

Whatever!

But yes, life is like a game of chess.

What will the next move be?

Guess…

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blue and blue and brown and green

Between the blue and the blue you live

Upon the green and brown

The things you can’t see keep you alive and well and sound

Upon the green and brown it’s dry though moisture is in the air

Moisture is everywhere you know

But do you really care?

Some people they are bright and yellow and sometimes they give off sparks

Others like me and grey and mellow and are jealous of their larks

Though abstract these thoughts might be

Do you really follow me?

For I see things in simple ways

Though it is not for every gaze

Heed me well and you will see

What is it I say to thee

What is the blue and blue?

What is the brown and green?

If I was to give a spoiler that would be very mean

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Guinea pig tango

Abstract thought of the day, guinea pigs singing and dancing to “Sway” by Frank Sinatra!

I have had this image in my head for a few days in actuality – guinea pigs partying it up to that song, dancing the tango and singing “when we sway I go WHEEK!  Yeah, I know, Paul has already expressed concerns for my mental health!

But that’s what happens when you live a life of solitary boredom!

Thanks for reading…

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Pierrot the paint thrower

Today’s abstract thoughts took me to these places;

I was imagining my favourite movie soundtrack “Good Omens” and in my imagination I was proficient in playing this tune on a recorder, I was sitting on the top step of a step ladder, watching a cute guy who walked a bit like Charlie Chaplin painting an abstract picture of a candy world.

He was enjoying the music I was playing and every so often he would call out a colour and I would throw it into the general direction of the canvas and he would be happy!

“Pink” he shouted and I threw the bucket of pink paint at the canvas and he wiped it down on the canvas making lovely pink foliage for the flanks of the picture and I continued playing the recorder, getting off the steps slowly and gracefully whilst doing a solo waltz around the artist.

He then shouts “white” and I dip a large paintbrush into the pot of white paint and playfully throw my left arm out to the sides splashing the artwork all in seemingly perfect choreography – again he looked happy and continued painting in the clouds.

A little white dog, a Jack Russell terrier to be precise, came and sat next to me dancing with my recorder, still playing The Good Omens tune. 

I noticed in this vision I was a sky blue and pink Pierrot style clown and the little white dog had a silver and pink ruff around him, instead of a collar.

I was soon interrupted in my imaginings by Paul, who said it was time to get Henry to bed!

But these are the things that I imagine but are never put to use in a novel or story or anything, such a shame as I love sharing my thoughts with anybody who is willing to listen! 

Thanks for reading!

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New categories

As I am reaching a higher number in age, I shall refrain from calling it “getting older” as it makes me sound like I am ready to become dowdy or mature or something, which isn’t going to happen… I digress, sorry – I have noticed that my thoughts are becoming more and more abstract and I believe it has everything to do with the bizarre dreams I have been getting at nights these days – very disturbing in fact!

This is why I have decided to create two new categories for my blog and they are called “Dreams” and “Abstract Thoughts”.

So you’ll see stuff popping up for those new categories shortly.

Thanks for reading! 

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Abstract world

I hear the gold in your heart

It’s beating like a tin

It is thick with the taste of happiness

And it is wet with the fluid of youth and the lack of sin

Cherished by the cherry tree

By the birds and solidarity

Your voice is shrill like a mouse

Your voice is home, like a house

And I am warmed by your eyes as they burn into mine

I can smell your dreams

They flow like wine

Into a well of hope and future

Mending my wounds as the suture

And I am destined to stay with you

Because you are special too

We live in this daydream

Walking on the mist of clouded sleepwalk

How much I can hear you talk

Of all the mysterious things

Our existence is strange to the people

The earth ball round

They can’t hear the sounds we do

They are deaf and have no clue

We are different

You and I

This is why we walk on the sky

And we together we’ll be

For eternity

Alone

I have always loved the abstract in poetry, film and sometimes art.  I have also always love innovations in absurdism and surrealism in all art forms – though I have to admit I treat them all with guilty pleasure, as these things are rarely understood by the world and are often shunned as being too weird.

I often want to write whole stories and songs like this, but it’s so very niche really and I don’t like how some people will try to dissect the art and prose to try to make sense of it, or me – or worse, to presume that I have some kind of deep mental problem or something along the lines of substance abuse, simply because I can put my mind into far-out places!

A school teacher of mine in the last school I ever went to, called Mr Kingham saw how much of an abstract, absurdist thinker I was and tried to get me to take art seriously in school – but I never did.  Because it was not an encouraged thing at home; he was so proud of a statue I made in abstract of a guitar, that he insisted that he had to take it home and keep it forever for himself as it was too brilliant to just throw away at the end of the school year!

My parents never understood the excitement in him, nor why he would insist that out of all my achievements art supreme in me.  I never understood it either, I don’t reckon much of my art – my paintings and drawings that is, and even my abstract poetry.

I think it is nice to play with them – but is it really contributing to anything?

I have an over-analytical mind at times – yes I am playful, yes I can do this and the above I enjoyed doing a lot!  But I can’t help but think that other people will find it all a stupid waste of time?

There has been hundreds of poems similar to the above, I have deleted since having my blog after deciding that I might be too embarrassed to share them after all.  Hundreds might be an understatement.

There are times where I stop writing my novels, because my thought has become too abstract, that I have to put it away and rethink them for normal brains. 

Such as I am having a serious rethink about my description in project AD!

The description in project AD is based entirely on what a wild animal would perceive of things when it has been bought into the human world – how would a wild hare view newspapers strewn over a floor?  To me that is a simple idea, obviously they are the weirdest shaped leaves I ever did see with speckles of black all over them and white and snow!

The strange shaped logs that the two legged creatures sat upon groaned like some tortured squashed animal.  I mean, could you really read a novel like that?

As much as I love to write it, I worry about how it’s going to be received!

Yes I often hold back in this kind of description for a lot of my work, but it soon gets boring when I do.

Sometimes I think outside of the box so much I find it hard to get back into the box!

I love wild and out there ideas, hence my obsession with stories such as Alice in Wonderland and through the looking glass, Wizard of Oz fourteen books, the arc of the scythe series, His dark materials and such the likes.

As a child my imagination often ran away with me, I didn’t need to see scary things when the light was off, I saw them when the light was on! 

A mere pile of clothes on a chair could take on some weird shape of an abstract multi-coloured witch and the pigeon on the window ledge cooing sounded like some awful mischievous chuckle.  I often found myself over the years fantasising about making mini art movies based on those kinds of imaginings, but I don’t have the wherewithal to know what I am doing!

Last year when I made a post called “The spider’s suicide note” https://tardycreative.com/2022/07/30/a-spiders-suicide-note-or/ I actually wanted to rush off and make a mini movie about it and really make a thing about it with noir 1930s detective kind of slant to it – but I don’t know how to do these things and I don’t have anyone to help!

But it can be bizarre and spontaneous and it can be hard to hold off for a while waiting for things to be done, because by that time the inspiration would have left me!

I wanted to join Skillshare to learn the technology for all of that, but I can’t afford an annual subscription taken out in one lump sum like they are requesting nowadays!

I am really upset about that actually, because I was going to get ready to learn these things for YouTube and TikTok – but it’s going to have to wait until I save up for it.

The above poem is heavily inspired by Bjork and Aurora, I love those women!

Let me know of what you think of all the above… do you get abstract ideas like these or are they beyond you?

Thanks for reading!

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Abstract & hair

Black and white abstract for me today, maybe diamond or dog tooth patterns if I had that type of clothing, but definitely black and white colours today.

I have been learning about the shape of my face this week and I am trying to sculpt it slimmer by using a method called “face yoga”; I am not blessed as I have a pear shape or inverted triangle shaped face.

The reason why I am starting to do exercise and beauty regimes behind Paul’s back is because he discourages a lot of it, only to be surprised at what I’ve done afterwards.  So lately, things are going more underground here – or as underground as I could when you consider I am hardly ever alone. 

I found out that a curled bob would suit my face, so I decided to use my curling tongs to do that – I’ve always had curling tongs but never used them as they were once an unwanted Christmas present.

My first attempt at curling my hair was a failure, because I remembered my mother’s advice about it and Paul learned what I was up to and immediately suggested that this hairstyle wouldn’t suit me and that I was doing it all wrong anyway!

My mother taught me when using these hair irons you have to keep your hair soaking wet and let the tongs burn into your hair until it dries into shape!  YIKES!  I never knew but this was hugely bad advice and probably an evil attempt of hers to make me look worse!

Paul was angry when he heard her advice reminisce by me as I was trying to do it after I washed my hair!

I was also upset that my hair wasn’t staying in shape, to which Paul advised again, you need to use hairspray, love.

Oh.

I asked him how he knew all of this and he reminded me of his days when he was a glamor model photographer and so he knew what went on behind the scenes and picked up a lot along the way!

Paul didn’t look optimistic at my curly bob hairdo, but when it was done he was stunned and Henry just can’t stop touching my hair and hugging me since I’ve done it and I am trying to get into the habit of doing it daily.

I wanted to post a picture of it today, but I didn’t sleep well last night and I can’t get the puffiness out of my eyes, so maybe another day?

It definitely makes my face look less big and cumbersome and has made me look gentler.

I say curly bob, but my hair is about 3 inches longer than my jawline right now and I still have sticky up hair in the middle from the Long Covid alopecia, but never mind, though its less noticeable as the curls kind of  hide it and I pin it down a bit with the spray.

I wished I could afford the money to go to a hairdresser and dye my hair, because I am developing large blocks of white!  Though I’d love to go completely white, but I am forty years old and I just look too young for it right now – I don’t know, I am dithering about it really.

I also need make up, but I just can’t budget that right now, ho hum.

Especially as I have to force myself to save whatever I can because most of my clothes are way too big on me now and I need replacements ASAP, I think I am about a month away from having to go into credit to get clothes that actually fit me!

No other choice for me, sorry to say!

Paul is determined outside of writing and art that he doesn’t want me going out to work but I don’t really know why, he reckons it’s worry because I am sick too often.  But I don’t really know beyond that, why he is so adamant about it.

But there you go, abstract black and white day with beautiful curly bob, and if my eyes weren’t so puffy, you’d have seen a pic of it!

Also, to be honest with you – my depression has been really bad, so a lot of the puffiness could be the crying I’ve done.

Anyway, stop those sympathetic awes and I will see you in my next post!

Thanks for reading!

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My writing plans

How many novels am I working on?

I try to focus on about three at a time mostly, the same three, but I have more on the go than I admit.

Nobody will believe me if I said I have approximately one hundred and fifty unfinished works and about forty works stewing because I am pernickety and a perfectionist that just can’t seem to decide on the plot or another version of it.

It has been some months since I last said this, that when I whine about not finishing the project in time for my deadline, it is that one specific novel I am on about – project AD.

When I say I haven’t written anything I often mean to say towards the main project specifically – because in all honesty, even on my hardest of days, I am still writing something; be it poetry, songs, short stories, snippets of ideas or other novels, you can bet your bottom dollar I am still producing roughly three thousand words a day elsewhere.  But for me, it’s the main project that counts.

Along with my approximate 3k words on other works and approximately 3k words toward my main project on a good day, I am also in working mode whenever I watch YouTube, socialise on twitter and read books – which means all in all I work longer than anyone should!

There isn’t a time in my day where I am not working, unless of course I am eating, because I usually use meal times as a way to socialise with my nearest and dearest and all focus is on them.

When I read a book, it’s usually educational for me in some way.  I rarely read fiction books, but that is a habit that’s slowly changing.

I was asked on twitter recently, what would I call my writing niche?  It got me thinking, because I couldn’t answer straight away without thinking about it for about ten minutes and when I thought of what it might be, I had to google it to see if it was a thing and it is; abstract fantasy.

I suppose it is abstract fantasy because a lot of my works have a lot of abstract ideas, such as anthropomorphism, breaking down the boundaries of what is stereotypical of fantasy creatures and even breaking down the boundaries of societal norms as there is a lot of gender fluidity in some of my works.

Often whenever people ask me what I mostly write I give them a long list as a reply, something akin to; I write dark fantasy, or things of a dark theme such as descent into madness survival, anthropomorphism, dystopia and a bit of steampunk and vampires.  Those are my usual go to replies – however, it says nothing really of the giants and dragons I write about and it totally bypasses the fact that it is an abstract idea not the general run of the mill fantasy everyone is cosy with.

For example, I might have dragons who dress in regency clothing having afternoon tea picnics discussing the barbarism of humanity; or beautiful faeries with butterfly wings, heavily tattooed with shaved sides of their heads in intricate patterns getting ready to wrestle a badger as a ride to go to the summer solstice party.  You get what I mean here, though lovely and fantastical it can be a little dark in the way I write things, but still not too dark for family entertainment, that’s important to me!

So I have grown comfortable in understanding I am an abstract fantasy author with mild horror thrown in here and there.

Abstract fantasy is more doable than you think – although most people would consider Douglas Adams work “Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy” as a comedy sci-fi it is often marketed as abstract fantasy. 

Terry Pratchett, Diana Wynne Jones, Clive Barker and Garth Nix are also considered abstract fantasy authors, to name but a few.

My current project AD is definitely abstract fantasy but it does have some steampunk elements to it too, so the marketing here can be difficult unless I decide which niche it’s actually going to be and personally – I think it’s going to be marketed as a YA science fiction because I think the steampunk elements are quite big, the anthropomorphism is due to genetic mutations, the animals are building a world out of the scraps of junk humans have left behind and they are building weapons to fight each new rising faction that is occurring out of the dust. 

I think this project screams Tank Girl, Mad Max and The Fly so this is why I have chosen to market it as YA Science Fiction rather than abstract fantasy, because science is quite a large theme in the series and yes, this is going to be a series of books and eventually I plan to make them into a graphic novel, but at the moment I am not confident in doing that – so they are novels right now.

I have also changed the species of a rival group, which is why I am falling behind on the project, because I had to rewrite four chapters depicting the new species which set me back about a week, I am happier with the idea that this rival clan is sheep rather than rats as I felt that rats are overdone as bad guys.

Also the main character has a disability, which I felt is often underrepresented in literature, so I am proud of that and it really makes the story, it really works well.

This story has bought back the fun in writing for me, which is something I haven’t felt since 2015, it has a lot of wacky ideas which work and I am so proud of.

But Project AD is definitely not my only project, no worries there.

This is part of a series, but it is not my only series I am working on and there are plenty of standalone novels too.

I have a vampire saga I am working, this is probably going to be my longest series of all my books and again I would market them as science fiction because of the fact that my vampires are not originally from Earth and they do space travel from time to time.

Another series I am working on has twelve defined stories and there will absolutely never be more than twelve books in this series because it would defy the plot, there is a specific reason why the number twelve is important to this series.  I have mentioned this story before as Steampunk 1 and this story will be marketed under steampunk because it’s quite rigid in that genre.  It is a lesbian romance of travel companions who explore new cultures and debunk science together.

Another is a dark fantasy about ghost children, this is a standalone book and I won’t say much else about the plot just yet.

There is another dark fantasy about a haunted teddy bear, which I’ve vaguely mentioned two years ago approximately.

There is a dragon trilogy I am working on.

A series of stories about giants in the same world, but all different characters, with their own stories, but it is a specific world; so far there are five planned, two half written.

A werewolf novel, which is a standalone – the plot isn’t exciting enough yet and needs a lot of work!

There is so much more than this, there is no need to worry about me being a one trick pony, honestly!

I can’t focus on one thing for too long it triggers my ADD really bad and I am always juggling ideas, some for years being remastered time and time again – but there is more to me than just anthropomorphic mutant warriors having gang warfare and vampires flying around in spaceships and lesbian balloon riders debunking science… much, much more!

I am also working on a series of books based on angels and demons and the bible etc., there is just so much fighting to get out of my head!

In my next post, I am going to be talking about how I structure my stories and how long my ideas can take to write on average.

Thanks for reading!

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Grief

Grief tastes likes the salty sea

Bites like a salty dog and screams like a spoiled child

It feels like an over enthusiastic aunt cuddling you so tight you can’t breathe

It smells like warm salty blankets and looks like a broken toy

Makes you feel alone in the world and blinds you with abstract pictures through a window in a heavy rainstorm

Grief pains your heart and gives you cramp and a snotty nose and a lump in your throat

Grief sedates you as you cry yourself to sleep

That’s what grief is

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Brent Cross Shopping Centre

A concrete tomb smothered in glass

Come buy your wares here

Come push through the vultures for a bargain

Push through the surge of angst and plastic gold

Strangers ram into you spilling coffee on your shoulder

They are shopping here but there’s a rush

A rush to what?

I never knew, because here bargains are few

Screams of children and laughter and loud voices echo through the sarcophagus

Piercing your ear drums as you pass

Fresh dough scenting the air with expensive perfume

Choking on the gilded air

Poor people watch and stare

Buy lollipops from Marks and Spencer’s just to get the bag

So people back on the estate think, they aren’t so poor – the snobs

That’s what it’s like in old Brent Cross

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