Control your thoughts

With fresh eyes I look into my future with wonder

What shall I plunder in my coming days?

Shall I be sweet, forever young?

Shall I be truly me in all ways?

Or is my future full of dung?

I don’t know

But I do know – you are what you think!

If your thoughts stink

You will sink into outer space

You’ll fall in disgrace

What a waste – of time and energy

Thinking about bad things, are you your own enemy?

I just know, good things flow in unpolluted waters

So let the bad thoughts go

Let them wash away

So you can play in tears of joy, not dismay!

I hope you’ve heard the words I have said

Will you be happy before you are dead?

Fill your mind with happiness

Put joy into your head!

Wear a smile on your face

And do what I said

Think good thoughts and let the bad ones go

Thinking happy thoughts will make life glow!

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Cousin

Don’t judge me cousin

We’re the same

We are family and life is a game

The game is remember who you are

Inside out and near and far

Love is all around you; it’s written in the stars

Because all the world is your cousin

And this planet is our car

We’re on a journey to find ourselves

To learn to love again

To hold each stranger by the hand and reach a better end

Life is short, let’s stop the hate

So we can walk hand in hand

To gods new gracious Eden land

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Twitter issues

I have issues on twitter.

For some reason or another, twitter has this thing where they will arbitrarily remove various people as followers from other people occasionally. It is a known bug and you are never aware that you have been forcibly removed as a follower to people you like.

This has happened to me today, I have woken up to discover over a thousand people have unfollowed me on one account and around three hundred on another; I looked into this.

According to what I have found – twitter has a bug which does this and they do not intend to fix it; it is to prevent spam content on this platform.

If a person is popular this is more likely to happen, especially if that person is followed by certain other people who are also very popular.

This is frustrating and I just wanted to post this here for those people who follow my blog occasionally, to ask you, to just check whether I am still on your follow list on twitter or not!

@CreativeTardy and @FantasyFed

Paul is furious that this has happened and has suggested I complain to twitter about it, but for me, it feels silly moaning at twitter about loss of followers, because they’ll simply comeback with the idea that it is a matter of choice won’t they? I won’t embarrass myself by making a scene about it, but if these people have not intentionally unfollowed me, then I thought I ought to let them know of the situation here!

Thank you for reading!

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Trying to function

My Henry has been sick again, doctors call it a growth spurt, but he is having a lot of time off school because of it.

Today I have started writing again, though I am not as comfortable as I was before my chair started tilting at the new desk; I am getting on with it in spite of having to do it again at the adjustable table, at least I am not in pain with my hip and lower back anymore, but there is a little neck strain going on, because I have to keep turning my head.

This will only be for the next six weeks, because we’ve rearranged the furniture in the living room to make room for the Christmas tree we’ll be setting up on December the first!

After Christmas things will be more comfortable again, until next year, that is providing we are still in the same house – hopefully we won’t be, even though the move will break Henry’s heart, I have never been comfortable in this house, especially since He moved in next door!

It’s unlikely we will move, but I always hope I’d have moved house around this time to year to a new house, since living here! It’s like a New Years resolution that never resolves!

Last night I thought I was going to sleep at 2am, unusually early for me, but then fifteen minutes after lights out, my brain decided to become poetic until 4am again, I wrote five poems by hand in bed – such a nuisance!

My hand is swollen and I should really rest it, but I can’t, I have things in my head that I need to type out!

I have decided tomorrow onwards I am going to force myself to write 3k words per day towards one novel and still write like how I usually do in other ways too!

But I need to get at least twenty books completely out of my head, because I am losing sleep over them!

Whilst writing the poems last night in bed by hand, I also started writing new ideas towards Steampunk 1 project, which was unexpected and I was irritated because I was nearly fainting in tiredness near the end of it!

I very nearly made myself a coffee and come downstairs to type it out faster on the computer, but I didn’t, I forced my brain to behave itself!

I am really struggling to train my brain to work at a reasonable time of day.

I have had long conversational rants at it, but it won’t listen, if anything it rebels all the more!

If I were a vampire, it would be reasonable, but since I am not, it is utterly ridiculous! 

I struggle to work too, when Henry is around, because Henry seems to get upset whenever I read a book or write in his presence, and I don’t do it so often that Henry should feel emotionally neglected, but he does tend to get really hot headed and playful whenever he sees me do anything like this.

Paul is trying to be strict with him about it, but Paul is still ill with the shingles after all this time and doesn’t have the energy to be persistent with him!

I really need to lock myself away in an office just for me, there isn’t much other choice!  For someone who can write with music and television on and even writing in a crowded café from time to time in the past, it’s really something if I can’t write with a whining, demanding, arm pulling eleven year old around me!  I don’t why he reverts when he sees me reading and writing or doing art, I really don’t!

Whenever I do art however he is different, he will sit across the table from me and do art too, but he jerks the table a lot and as sweet as it is, I wished he would sit on another table so I wouldn’t mess my own painting up with his sudden movements!

He gets upset if I don’t paint for as long as he wishes too.  I feel I can’t win!

But I am plodding along today, he went back to school today, but I unfortunately started work late, due to sleeping longer than usual.

I hate sleep, it’s so unproductive and a waste of time!

I have never been one who loves sleep, never been one of these people who proclaim a love for their bed!  I have always resented rest!

It drives Paul mad, he thinks I overdo everything!

Anyway, writing is going to be more consistent, even if I do forget my promises about updating on word counts on Wednesdays!

Happy reading!

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New Desk update

The desk is set up now, but the chair is very uncomfortable and has been causing me pain since I have been using it the past week now.

I need to find a more comfortable chair to work in, because the pain in my lower back and hip is making it hard to concentrate.

I may resort to going back to the adjustable small laptop table and sofa again for a while, if things do not improve!

I have decided not to write until Thursday the 18th November, because for the past few days I have suffered from migraines, back and hip pain which has added to quite a severe bout of depression, so I need to step away from writing for a couple of days – or at least, writing on the new desk.

I know it sounds silly, but I think part of the depression and the migraines are due to my sudden and abrupt cold turkey to caffeine, since having a good dose of the stuff today the headaches have subsided quite a bit.

I have done hand notes in bed and I have been thinking about the adjustable table again, so I may go back to that, but tomorrow is very busy in this house anyway, so not much writing will get done purely because of that – hence the need for a couple of days off.

I should really take time off until after the weekend, because of a doctors appointment on Friday, but I don’t want to commit to that much time off – Paul thinks I am pushing myself too much, but then he always does!

I know I said I won’t be doing Nanowrimo but I have been updating the site and I have approximately 17k words so far, but it is not a first draft to a novel – well not a proper first draft, it is mostly just footnotes and ideas, so I guess that’s cheating to some – but for me these are pre-first drafts!

No, I am not writing an epic! I have 17k words of alternative ideas, I have been trying to decide which direction I prefer before I commit to writing the story from beginning to end. Last night I surprise myself with a new alternative and I like this alternative very much and Paul is excited by this idea and that’s saying something!

Happy reading all!

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LiveJournal account

I now have a livejournal.com account called TardyCreative

I have decided for more insight into my personal life that a livejournal account may be more appropriate than posting too much personal stuff on this blog.

See you there!

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Filed under Reviews

Project – Dragon 1

Dragon 1

Long lost relative rediscovered

Found family

Witches

Dragons

Comedy

Battle scenes

Camping

Giants

Pirates

Main character Male in late 30s

Portal world

Magic lost

Set in Britain & Alternate reality

Betrayal

Treachery

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A sleepy explanation

I have many projects on the go at once and so this category will get full quite quickly!

I tend to concentrate on up to three ideas at a time for bursts of up to one month, but I do still add to other projects outside of this.  I have a huge amount of unfinished ideas and some that are finished but are in storage for a later date when I will read them again with fresh eyes and determine if they need altering or not!

If a project is marked down as 1.2 or something like that, this means that this project is part of a series I am working on, I have some series I am working on but generally I prefer writing standalones.

My vampires are considered both series and standalones, because some vampire ideas are far removed from my main series or rather saga idea in the first place.

I am updating my categories along with my diary entries for Wednesdays that will start back up again, because I am determined to show people how much I do actually work towards my creativity, regardless of finished products!

To me it is lovely to have a final finished product that I can show an agent eventually, but right now that is neither my primary goal nor motivation!

My goal is to get into the swing of writing full-time – a set amount of words daily to a fixed project in order for me to feel like a real professional author.  To me that goal is to have one project that has had at least 3k words added per day consistently and not to write just a little each day to many projects.  Though added words per day to many projects is something I will never get out of, it is the focus on one particular project having 3k words per day that is my intended focus!

If you follow my drift?

I am exceedingly tired today so I may not make that much sense, because I didn’t sleep until 5am and I only had four hours of disturbed sleep and no access to caffeine for the past thirty hours!

So to break it down, my primary goal is to focus on adding 3k words to one story per day until it is finished without breaking that streak!  Once I manage to do this and finish a novel without breaking my daily streak, then I will feel like a professional author!

Though if I never accomplish that, do not fear – because this is has no basis on whether or not I approach an agent or a publisher first, no, no, no!  I will still do that, but I will not feel confident in my professionalism that is all!

Another thing that will add to me feeling professional will be the day I am actually writing 3k words to a project in an unbroken streak and also editing another finished project by at least three chapters per day – I am serious when I say I am trying to become full-time here!

Before the 11th November 2021 I would work approximately six hours per week towards my writing, that wasn’t my blog!  Since November 11th 2021, I am now writing or working towards my projects approximately four hours per day, broken up, so it is not full-time yet, to me!

I am forcing myself to do this, even when bed bound sick, I am taking work with me on the laptop in bed and with handwritten notes too!

I am determined to do this!

I think it is because my brain is so filled with so many ideas and unfinished projects that it is starting to taunt me, make me crazy a bit – so I need to get on with it!

I actually had a dream last night that various characters from my own stories were mocking and laughing at me because of my excuses, this was weird shit and I just don’t have time for that kind of thing in my dream time!

By and large this post was meant to tell you that I have so many ideas on the go and I do not struggle for ideas at all – but I am beating them off with a stick and I would like to share what those stories may contain without giving too much away! 

If you find an idea you like, let me know, it will really help to motivate me more to write it, if I feel someone out there likes the sound of it!

I will write it anyway, but at a slower pace, you have no idea how fast I can work when I feel like someone is waiting for it or there is a deadline set by someone outside of myself!

Honestly, I am a workaholic, especially if I know that my work pleases another!

I know I sound needy right now, but I am being honest, I work best when other people’s expectations are higher than my own regarding my work, I am like this in everything in my life!

As I think I have mentioned before, I live for others, I don’t live for myself!

Happy reading everyone!

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Project – Steampunk 1

Steampunk 1

This project contains the following scenes, tropes and types of characters;

Travelling companions

A lost love

A ghost

Debunked scientific theories

Debunked superstitions

A search for truth

New found freedom

Comedy elements

Hot air Balloon

Space travel

Trio of main characters, primarily an early twenties female, late twenties male and a recent widower

Eccentric inventor

And a mystery solved

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Increased productivity

Since learning that ideas and character names cannot be copyright protected and that generally creative license as long as your idea is as unique it can be is unlimited in reality, I have found that I am starting to write at my old pace again.

This is exciting, because I used to be a workaholic in regards to my daily word count and the amount of projects that I used to do!

In the past eight to ten years I have been very stunted as far as creativity goes, because of false information that was given to me from non-professional sources.  I have in that time been unable to produce more than say, twelve thousand words per week and I could only concentrate on around three ideas at a time and I completely gave up the idea of short stories and articles because of this!

Now, I am back to my old self again and it has only been two days now!

I am now writing towards a vast array of projects once again and I am thinking about restarting my short stories for my blog again soon and I may even start up my online magazine articles again!

I used to write a lot for online magazines and article websites a decade ago, but due to fear of coming across as a rip off from similar subjects by other people I stopped!  I never outwardly copied another person, but the subject matter may have been similar.  For example, back in 2009 I read an article about the increasing population of wildlife in urban areas and I did an article based on foxes in urban areas in particular.  This had no backlash, but I was riddled with guilt for a while over it and a friend back then, suggested that I was copying too many themes from others (not theirs)!

I told them that although wildlife in urban places is a shared theme, it was not a direct copy because our subject focuses within our articles were very different, but she made me feel that it was too obvious and noticeable, though it was only in our minds at the time, for nobody else suggested otherwise.

I should have listened to an older friend of mine, who is more professional in the article writing industry that what she said was nonsense and there was a defined difference between each of our articles and that it was clear to him! 

These articles were non-profit anyway, but my female friend made such a do about it, that I decided to stop.

She even affected my ability to produce wildlife photographs too, because again, she claimed that my wildlife images, although I took them myself with my own camera, looked too much alike to other professional photographers that I would be in the same situation even there!  That in her opinion, I would find it very difficult to prove that my photograph is not the same as their photograph.

Paul being a professional photographer in the past said to me this is utter tosh and that I can of course prove it because of the time stamp on my camera and on the memory chip!  My friend retorted and suggested that those things can be easily faked or photo shopped!

Paul didn’t want me to give up my photography and articles, but I did anyway, as I was getting a bit too stressed out by all of it and other personal things in my life at the time!

But now, because these things are now confirmed or dismissed by professional friends I have been making it has lifted a huge burden from my creative shoulders.

Honestly, overnight my depression has lifted by at least 50%!  The tension in my back is much less; it is so weird how some kind of belief like this can actually physically manifest itself on your body like this!  I am beginning to wonder if some of my health may actually improve now, because of this too?

Hope so!

So it has only been around two days since I learned this and my writing amount has increased dramatically.  In the past two days I have written approximately 6k of words towards projects, a nearly a 5k increase to my usual amount when trying to work hard, from how I have been for the last five years in particular! 

Anyway, Happy reading all!

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Filed under About my work