When I have snuffed

I touch the hard cold surface of humanity

I am not afraid to share it

I’ve swam through pissy waters and through the shit

I have burned with envy in the flames of my own Hell

I can smile sweetly and pretend that things are swell

I know that you don’t like it

But this is who I am

Life has knocked me down hard with its whams

I can’t keep painting rainbows

When it’s a grey world I reside

I cannot fake I am happy

Do you wish that I have lied?

You turn off notifications when I swear a lot

You chose not to come back again, when my words become hot

But take me as I am and you will see for sure

That life for everyone has its ups and downs

Though I have downs more

You’ve read me in my past

Things aren’t likely to change

Though I strive hard to make it

Strive till I’m deranged

But at least stick around for progress

Because it should surely come?

I can’t be like this forever…

Can anyone?

Maybe you’re afraid I’ll die

That I’ll finally have enough

And you don’t want to guess

When I have finally snuffed!

Written 01:09am 1st March 2023