I am one of the few people in the world who can remember their dreams almost every night; it is rare when I don’t. I am also aware that I usually have more than one dream in a night and I can usually remember up to four.
I dream in colour, but there has been the rare black and white dream from time to time. Some dreams make sense, some dreams follow on from other dreams like an alternate reality and other dreams don’t make sense and weird me out and sometimes grosses me out or scares the hell out of me!
Oh yes, I am also an author which sometimes get stories come to me via dreamtime, usually as movies I am watching or living through those dreams myself as the future characters I will write – that one is a strange thing that happens around three times a year on average.
Most recently I have been getting very worrying, abstract and sick dreams. I don’t mean sick as in good, I mean sick in the old fashioned sense – that it makes me worry about my mentality if I can dream things like that!
I believe these dreams have something to do with the fact that I am panicking that my biggest fantasy in life has never come about and I may be getting too advanced in years for it to become a reality now – that is, I am scared I am running out of time with my biological clock to have the large family I have always wanted.
I never wanted an only child, I have always planned to have a minimum of five children with the idea that it would be my strictest minimum and I was always planning for a dozen!
I am forty now, Paul and I are no longer an item – I am single, with no prospective significant other and I am scared… particularly as I think I have past my best and nobody is willing to start a family within the lifestyle (BDSM) with someone who is forty!
The dreams I have been getting have scared me and made me feel sick recently. I think I have mentioned somewhere online, either here on this blog or on social media that I had recently had a dream where I found a sickly baby, which turned into a burrito? Then the one about my mother trying to kill several babies I had, but when she couldn’t she took my kidney?
Well the most recent dream I have had was I had a baby and a puppy I was protecting from scientists and the baby’s eye fell out and ricochet into my mouth – I am very squeamish about eyeballs, I can’t tell you how much this bothers me!
Then last night I dream that a baby was laying on the sofa and its toddler sibling came over and pulled the blanket it was on so that the baby fell off the sofa head first – I panicked about it, it’s mother didn’t care – I rushed towards the baby to pick it up and take it to a hospital, but the baby slowly turned into cubes of jelly with red little tadpoles inside and it melted completely on the journey to the hospital, where I couldn’t prove I had a baby and was turned out for wasting time.
As I left the hospital feeling confused about how they couldn’t see the baby – I decided to walk in a stony alleyway and through a tunnel, up some slippery gooey steps on a bridge and down the other side on metallic narrow winding steps and I was stopped by a man. This man had an argument with me – I don’t remember what it was about, but they tersely said to me “Well, goodbye then”!
Then I woke up.
Thanks for reading!