Daily Archives: December 3, 2022

I need to rest upon the shore

Dear, you are so dear to my heart

You pull me apart

With those words you say

Dear release me from your potion

Don’t let me get washed in the ocean

Hear me say

Save me now

I can’t bare those waters again

I just need my heart to mend

I can’t be always swimming here

I love you, so, so dear

But is it worth all these tears

After all these years

I am growing tired of the crying and the loneliness

I just need a rest

Upon the shore

Why can’t you listen, please don’t ignore

I implore you to stay with me

I know it sounds pathetic but I was once in this scenario where I was pushed away from someone, called back, pushed away, called back, constantly and I never learned for nearly three years that it would be a constant cycle. 

I thought that when they called me back they had a change of heart, so I’d dotingly went back to them and it wasn’t until pure mental exhaustion that I chose to ignore them finally.  But they still kept tabs on me for years and it wasn’t until my mum in fact, threatened to tell the police about them that they backed off finally.

I am embarrassed to share this actually, because upon reflection I behaved pathetically. 

These are not thoughts I still have of the person, but these are memories of that place I used to be in – sometimes people are confused that my poetry are reflective of my current mental state and it’s not always.  I have an excellent emotional memory.

In fact this emotional memory happened in 2004.

I am thinking that sometimes my poems might actually need explanations at the end, because there are times I post things like this and a bandwagon of lovely people thinks I am in a dark place again.  OK – let’s make a deal… if there is no explanation with a dark poem, I might be in a dark place at the time.

If there is an explanation, rest easy my friend! 

Thanks for reading!

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Because I’ve died

Is it enough to show the world at all?

That I’ve ascended but now I fall?

Into a chasm of pain

Being driven insane

Will I feel the same… again?

I might as well give up

Stop fighting

Because nothing is righting the way I need it go

Why can’t thing be just so?

Or is it me who won’t let go?

Oh no

I’ve tied, through the needles that bite

I’ve tried through the ashes that burned

I’ve tried through the icy waters

I’ve tried to turn

But things swing round back at me

Fighting me into tragedy

I have struggled with reality until I am through

I am done, I am tired and life’s won

This battle

What can I do?

But fight again, until the end

Until life has gone from me

Into the icy sea

And I have drowned in the pain

And I went insane

And I took my life

With a bloodied knife

And I’m not the same

Fighting spirit I was

I have given up… because…

I’ve died

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