Is not what you find in the average romance novel, sorry, well, not the ones my mother shoved down my throat when I was growing up – ew!
Though I reckon my idea of romance is too way out there for the modern day too, a little old-fashioned or a little too fantasy based.
I have a lot of old fashioned values. I believe man and woman has their place and this is hard to hear according to some of my friends which are super modern feminists or who know I am bisexual.
Here are my core beliefs about men and women;
Man is the protector and must have what it takes to physically and verbally defend his woman whenever necessary. Unfortunately I have seldom come across anyone who fits the stereotypical protective male role; basically I’ve been on my own under confrontation from strangers whilst the guy I was dating was there.
The woman is the nurturer moral and emotional supporter of the whole family, not just the kids, but the man as well and must be patient and understanding with the man when he is having a bad day.
Basically as women, it’s our job to ensure that our husband’s day doesn’t get any worse – we have to cheer him up, we have to spoil him as it were with good food and snuggles and kind words.
Both the man and the woman should be completely honest with each other at all times, trust and honesty as well as a deep friendship are the keys to a longstanding relationship – if you don’t have that, then you don’t have a proper relationship in my opinion!
Whenever I hear my friends say that they can’t date their best friend I pity them, because relationships need friendship as its foundation, don’t you think?
I am also traditional in the sense that when you choose to have children, you need to have a career that works around them, not vice versa. Your children’s well-being and presence in your life should be the priority. I know it is hard for some women, especially single mothers – I understand you, but this is what I believe. There are options for working at home, that’s all I am saying!
Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that women should be able to have whatever rights they desire – but just don’t force your ideas on other more traditional women like me!
I have been discriminated against for my beliefs of being a stay at home mother before I got sick, because in the opinions of other local women, women like me are disgusting and lazy and are seriously damaging the women’s right campaign.
At the time, before I got sick, I was actually trying to hone my skills in social care and tried to fix the house up by taking Paul out of his hoarder’s paradise, to consider becoming a foster mother as a job. Which I know I would have loved!
But for me – romance is nothing like Mills and Boon, choose any novel there you like!
For me, my idea of the perfect romance is what Morticia and Gomez Addams have!
A partner you can listen to music with and randomly get up and dance with around the living room, smooching, swaying and snuggling and embarrassing your kids!
A partner who’d bring you a regular dose of flowers for the house so you can rearrange them around the house with maybe some of your own cut flowers from your own garden too!
A partner who wants to take you on one to one picnics occasionally, or sends the children away to friends or family for the night so we can have a homemade candlelight dinner with just the two of us!
A partner who isn’t stuck in a rut in regards to bedroom matters and is adventurous and spontaneous.
I want a guy who will teach me how to tango with him and maybe roleplay with him and silly things like this.
I like vain men who have big egos, especially if I know they like to look meticulous in public but behind closed doors he won’t moan at me when I scruff up his hair and give him cute nicknames…
I like to be very hands on with my guys, I like to give and receive massages and so forth and I am very good at reiki, I’ve been told I should be a practitioner, but I am not interested in that for a career. I like to touch and be touched and I have a real problem with rejection when I put my hands on a guy in bed and they flinch or tell me to get off – when we’re supposedly engaged, you get me?
I like guys who don’t want sex over and done within thirty minutes if you are lucky – I like long nights, not just dip and collapse with no build up or tease, you know?
A big part of a relationship to me is talking… talk a lot… talk about everything, be open, share your day, share your ideas, play with ideas and make plans to ensure your life never gets boring together – always try new things, not just sexually, but in life in general!
I think that when you bond with a life partner, there should be a sort of effort to have an unspoken language between you or keywords, where you can communicate with each other privately but in public too – it’s a lost art for these times, but it was quite common pre-Victorian era. Fan or hand language, language of flowers and little innuendos that only you and he knew the meaning of.
I show my love by cooking for the person in my life, by asking them if they want help with something or by doing things they’ve specifically asked for. I like to bond with them by writing out my thoughts and feelings and reading it to them and hope they’d tell me more about themselves too.
I like the idea of a relationship where we motivate each other all the time to become the best that we can be, we always challenge each other!
I even like a little mock fighting – knowing we will never truly hurt each other’s feelings, it’s all play and end up wrestling each other to bed or something! This is why I love the tango a lot, oh and the paso doble!
I have a lot of fire in me, a lot of passion and I need someone with a lot of energy and creativity and desire to be playful with me!
I think this is another reason why I love the BDSM lifestyle a lot, there is a lot of fun light-hearted roleplay there, with kinks and spanks and other delights – it’s not meant to be vicious and bullying!
I want someone ready to take on my challenges with me and me with theirs! Together we’ll ride the storm!
I have never been comfortable with this is their problem and these are my problems and we live separately like that – I believe in sharing and caring about each other a lot!
I really don’t like it when I know a partner is upset about something going on in their lives and they won’t tell me about it, because I hate feeling helpless and I hate not knowing and I hate not being able to lighten the load for them!
It literally kills me inside!
I have had exes in the past who hated the way I treat them at times, because I apparently smother them, mother them and sometimes I’ve been accused of babying them!
I don’t see it; I just see it as maybe caring too much?
Maybe I go overboard, but it’s just me!
So yes, I want love like Morticia and Gomez Addams… you get me?
Someone with all the above and someone to live in mutual weirdness with!
Oh and can match my libido!
Thanks for reading!