I will only talk about the progresses of my novels from now onwards and I am not going to reveal as much as I have over the past few months, because of good advice from a published author friend of mine.
I will go back to my outlines I used to do a year ago, I won’t go into depths about the inspiration and so forth as it is too revealing and some people have rightly guessed what some of my work might be before it has even got out there and has played with the ideas themselves.
This hurts – but I knew I shouldn’t have done that, but the writing community aren’t social with those who conceal their work too much, I can see why actually.
In fact people have been using my poems as prompt ideas on their own pages and some are using them as short stories for their blogs. Shame people can’t think for themselves – but never mind.
Recently I have been trying to learn how to write in comic and graphic novel formats as well as learning the business side of writing, because despite my obstacles, I am still determined to do something with my creativity.
The obstacles are increasing, there is nothing I can do with that, because the biggest obstacle is a toxic atmosphere with a family that just can’t get along with each other and I am in the thick of it being forced to be piggy in the middle a lot of the time.
But enough of that – I am not going to lose focus today.
I am trying ear plugs upstairs and I am trying to get used to writing without my usual stimulus of music and I have to say it’s hard. Silence gives me a headache, I’ve never liked long bouts of silence, I am weird like that, and about an hour is all I can take when I am awake – when I am asleep, silence helps me but other than that – no thanks.
If I am ever unfortunate enough to lose my hearing I know I’ll go madder.
I am in terrible need of good luck with these new tactics.
Especially as only thirty minutes in writing just this and a poem beforehand, Henry rushes into the room makes me take my ear plugs out because he wants to talk to me about wrestling news for the umpteenth time today!
He knows I follow the wrestling news on Twitter, I don’t need this!
It’s hard to stay happy and positive for him when it happens so often, but I have to put on a false happy face for him and tolerate it because there is no balance with the other parent for him – I have to be that balance or my child would fall apart faster!
I have to be happy to see him, be the smile he needs and give him those hugs he requires. The guilt is too much on the times when I snap because I just want to work! Those times are Hell because Henry will go off; rightfully upset about the rejection and then his dad sets on him like a raging Rottweiler for twenty minutes solid and there’s a screaming match. There is no civility between them and there is no compassion from Paul to Henry.
That’s what I am living with.
I said I wasn’t going to lose focus, but look what just happened!
I have to re-read what I have said because I’ve lost my flow, its worse when its fiction, it’s hard to get that flow back, because sometimes I believe the stories I write might be channelled by some spirits of bygone authors as some of the ideas are too clever to come from me! I’m not smart enough to write like that on my own volition!
So yeah, ear plugs help when they’re killing each other downstairs but it doesn’t stop them barging into the room with news.
My AD project is still in my head and not fully on paper yet, I will get there, my steampunk will get done as will my Christmas and Easter project, because these ones are the ones driving me into the asylum as they don’t want to be ignored!
Actually being driven into an asylum might be beneficial for me because at least I can write in relative silence because I’d ask to sit in the library with my laptop to write as part of my creative healing process. They have libraries in asylums you know; well they did the last time I was in one, when I was a teenager. I don’t think they’d allow the lap top though, because some doctors believe any outside link could cause setbacks.
Funnily enough I am trying to be upbeat about it all and ironic, lol.
Today I am in a pickle, I have these tools to get around the interruptions, but I want to write towards two things at once and it’s the decision I am battling with.
Something instinctively tells me that the AD project needs to be the priority because this one is going to be a huge success, but I can’t help but think about playing with the Easter idea as the main character is just super fun!
As much as I want to write the Easter project, I can’t listen to the music I want to whilst I do that today – so, meh, has to be project AD right now I guess?
Thanks for reading!