Are you ok?

A spiritual friend I have called Izzy warned me that this could happen…

I was told that perhaps the tarot reading should be kept to myself, because it might undo the energies of the blessings coming my way, but I told Paul about what I wanted to do and he felt it is necessary to put it out there.

He said I simply have to.

As you know, I am reluctant to share much unless it goes through Paul first.

Because I am never sure if what I want to write for the blog is appropriate or not, as I am honest when I say, I have lived an isolated life.

But then something occurred to me when I was asleep last night that I should delete the post before it goes out, but I was so sleepy I didn’t wake up to do it immediately and forgot before it was posted. 

I don’t like the energy I am picking up, I have a major headache and I feel very despondent and depressed, but I don’t know where it’s coming from.  I still feel determined energy coming my way, but it is also cautious and afraid now – like they feel tricked.  That hurts actually. 

I am also concerned because for the past two to three days the back of my left hand has been very sore, like there are cuts or something on it, but there isn’t.

I have tried to sense where these energies are coming from and the only thing that comes to mind is something has happened to the guy who was going to come into my life.  Has he hurt his hand or something?

I know it is weird when I felt perfectly relaxed in the bath the other night but then I sensed someone was in a rage, but it wasn’t anybody in the house for a change.  I just find it really weird that I am taking on what feels like two peoples emotions, my own and probably theirs.

How can people who never met each other get that from each other, I don’t think I will ever understand…

Though the back of the hand might be poison ivy or something as I remember a flash dream a couple of nights back about poison ivy medicine… but never understood it. 

Never experienced poison ivy, so wouldn’t know.

Anyway, I felt I needed to put this out there and I didn’t consult Paul this time either – as I have a feeling, although he and I are over, I kind of get a sense he wants both me and Emilia and kind of wanted to put the spanner in the works for me.  Because Paul is really scared that nobody is going to look after me as good as he can.

Well, am I not worth it then?  Sorry but I can’t help but feel like even Paul thinks the idea of me finding a Mr. Right is nonsense.

Thanks for reading…