I do wish that I remind myself to time-stamp when I wrote a post as sometimes I forget that the posts won’t be current for the day. I wrote the previous post about a week ago.
Daily Archives: August 12, 2022
Tuts at self.
Filed under Arts & Crafts
NLP and Paradoxes
I am trying to learn NLP for writers because there are times when I get so depressed I can’t function at all as a regular human being let alone a writer, no matter how much I love writing.
I know what causes my depression, many people say they don’t know why they are like that, but I am not one of them, I know the reason for my depression and it is three main things.
The major thing is loneliness, I find it hard to find like-minded people like me, I am desperate to be amongst my soul tribe but like a vicious circle that depression is – I don’t want to go out when my depression is really bad, yet going out will help me find the people I need to get me out of it. It’s a funny old thing really.
I haven’t written a word in two days because of depression.
I have always been trapped in paradoxes of one kind or another.
People say that life is a lesson; it seems to me mine is to overcome multiple paradoxes or find a way out of them.
So, that is why I am trying NLP.
NLP has helped me with other problems in my life and so it is hard to find another thing to do to help me write. I thought about brushing my hair as I love people playing with my hair, it’s a really pleasurable feeling, but then I thought – hey I am using something akin to this to stop my trichotillomania and like a true blooming paradox, when this has been working for nearly two years now, life has given me alopecia due apparently to the effects of long Covid!
Then I thought about stroking my neck as that’s another thing I like, but then I thought to myself, no, what if a lover was to do that to me – will that eventually mean I will be running off to write instead of getting myself right into the throes of passion? Can’t be doing that!
I don’t want to resort to a food or a beverage as a pleasurable experience in order to write, because that would limit my favorite food or beverage and I never know how long resources would last – you see, as much as I like to think of the world in a positive light – I still have a girl guides mentality of “be prepared” basically, I live in paranoia of some kind of societal collapse – an apocalypse if you must call it that!
I did think about blackberry jelly as there is an abundance of wild blackberries growing locally to me and in my own garden, you can get twenty pounds in my garden alone if you only had a thin path in it and nothing else – I know, it was overgrown to that extent once! But then blackberry jelly isn’t very healthy, with all that sugar to be having daily and sugar is known to make me more hyperactive!
There are other things I can think of to give me small pleasures without worrying about the effects of it outside of writing, but those would include the help of other people and the people in my life at the moment… I hate to say it they aren’t very cooperative on a consistent basis. I had thought, a nice back massage before writing would be just the trick, but no, it’s just not doable!
I don’t want to sound tragic, but most people find their pleasures in happy memories and hold onto those thoughts and feelings whilst doing NLP and a different memory does different things… I don’t have many happy memories spare.
Sorry, but my life so far has been an unhappy one and it makes me feel like you are all going to judge me for being a doom and gloomy type of person – but actually I am one of the most positive people out there… I know, people have told me so… in fact they’ve accused me of Pollyanna syndrome because I am likely to try and pretend everything is alright. My poker face represents the painfully big smiles of some kind of happy clappy holiday camp rep.
I am constantly double thumbs upping people with a huge happy grin, with my pain in my eyes and heart and saying “everything is great, this can be done, life is wonderful of course it is”!
I have even been asked to become a life coach because of it, but I think of the paradox again – I haven’t got my own shit together yet, it would be a lie for my clients and I can’t lie to them that my life is really all that great!
I know one thing that would help me write, but at the moment I can’t afford it and that is a dog! I used to write prolifically when I lived with my parents because a dog was always right next to me or licking my feet, I like my feet being licked… now that sounds a bit weird, but there you go! Simple pleasures!
Would it be too weird to ask people to lick my feet so I can write? I think it would… but there you go!
I am trying to find something suitable, something that can give me pleasure on a solo level and without sex, food or drink!
Perhaps I should find a favorite perfume and use that only for writing and spray it on a nearby cloth? I love perfumes, violets, orchids, or sweet spices or those with undertones of patchouli. However, I tend to like limited edition perfumes or those that go out of branding.
I used to regularly buy Lady Gaga’s perfume FAME but then it seems out of stock in town all the while and online it seems 600% more expensive than I remember!
I will update you on what I’ve decided to do to enhance my writing via NLP, because right now I haven’t a clue!
Happy reading everyone!
Filed under About my work