The name of this website is called TardyCreative for many reasons, one being I am renowned for being very tardy about updating social media posts and this blog – but why?
Mostly as you all can guess (or at least those that have followed me for a while now), that one of the main reasons is ill-health, now I am not just talking sniffles and worries here, I am talking full on bedbound and housebound style sickness! The kind where I get the influenza that knocks you off your feet type of illness, but I get it for twenty weeks of the year on average – yes, that’s my average, not just small sniffles, full blown knock out! What’s funny about all of this is that by and large I am considered hardier than most with things, definitely hardier regarding pain than most others, to the extent a doctor was concerned that I had a problem with pain receptors, but I don’t.
Another reason for my tardiness is that I am easily distracted, I have what Paul thinks is undiagnosed ADD and ADHD. I have issues concentrating for prolonged periods and do things in fifteen minute spurts, outside of this and I wander off mentally and can get tired easily.
I can hold many conversations at once, in fact I thrive doing that, but hold me on a subject for too long without a break and I get stressed and sleepy! Sleepy is funny because normally outside of being forced to concentrate for longer than I can, I actually have problems sleeping because I am generally quite a hypoactive person, health provided.
I am easily distracted by windows and animals, plants, TV, and ideas. I can be sitting down watching my favourite unmissable TV show when an advert for Warcraft comes up and I am researching the latest of the game or the movies on my phone and the next thing I know is I have missed fifteen minutes of my show!
I write my stories and overhear a conversation between Paul and Henry about ancient Britain and I pause to answer questions or research things we’re unsure about.
I have never been able to focus for long; this is why when I work on my creative pursuits, it is essential I have more than one thing going on. Because when I get distracted it breaks my roll and when my roll is broken on one thing, it is hard to get back on it the same day!
I often get flustered with too much stimulus, I was settling down to bed last night and watching YoutTube to calm me down, some art tutorials, when an advert gave me the idea for a new story and art project and I ended up writing by hand for an hour longer than I wanted to and didn’t get to finish the art video I wanted to watch!
I was then distracted halfway in writing my notes because Henry’s gastric flu is still quite bad and he had another bout of sickness at 3:30am when I was trying so hard to wrap things up for me to go to sleep!
When Henry’s little bout finished, I tried to continue my notes, but I put them aside and just as I thought about turning the TV off finally to go to sleep, I started thinking about fairy art projects and picked the note books up again.
The thing is, it isn’t just my creativity I am tardy with, I am like this in all areas of my life and I am often met with aggressive impatience by others, who hate my dithery behaviour!
I am easily lured by anything that sparks an interest in me, which is why shopping is a nightmare for people who are on tight schedules, because I am worse than a child in a candy store if I walk past something that is vaguely anything I like!
The problem is, despite being sick, my mind wanders off so much that I do not realise how much I am actually exhausting my body with my antics, until I literally pass out! I used to faint a lot, be warned, why don’t I do so as much anymore? Because Paul is incredibly strict when he sees me wandering or being too physical beyond my bodies capabilities, people who don’t understand my situation can think he is off for how he seemingly dominates and talks to me, but it is necessary, he knows that I will pass out if he doesn’t do or say something harsh!
Why I am like this? I don’t know!
But it is me in every single sense of the word.
I am just that, I am tardy because I can’t help it; I am tardy because I am too interested in everything and want to do everything at once all of the time!
If I had a magic wand, I would find a spell to split myself up in thousands of different bodies and do everything that distracts me, so I can at least be more dedicated to them, than I currently am! But then again… would I be?
Thanks for reading, I will try and post again soon! Stimulus willing!