For the next few days I will be cataloguing all of the books in this house (with maybe the exception of my son’s bedroom as I want to live till the end of the week), to put on Goodreads.com as there has been some debate from some of my reader friends about just how many books I actually own because according to what they see on Goodreads I don’t have much. Well I only used to add those that I bought at the time I have been a member of Goodreads, not all the ones I had before I became a member of the site – so, apparently I have to prove my hoarding addiction to the world – lol.
So that is my challenge for the week and it is back breaking! You’re probably laughing your heads off at what you think is an exaggeration, but for me it is a reality. Being bed bound sick for the last 7yrs has severely weakened my core that even standing up for more than 15 minutes at a time is very painful. I think the diet I have been doing for immune boosting is working, because I am having more days out of bed, in fact I haven’t had a full day in bed since around the 21st of January.
I still need to go back up there regularly, but I am definitely seeing an improvement. I am also taking extra vitamins with it all too. I am not losing any weight, in fact gaining it – which is disturbing for me, because my calories are less. Sugar and fat content is less, food is more nutritionally dense than before and I am slightly more active than I used to be. It is puzzling why, I have the weight gain. I am eating approximately 400 calories a day less than I did before these changes and I am doing more around the house, I am now able to care a little for the rabbit and even make snacks and lunches whereas I hadn’t been able to since 2016. The weight gain is only 5 pounds, but it is freaking me out – somebody suggested my insomnia could be a reason for it, because your metabolism is determined by your sleep patterns, not sure what to think of that!
My sleep patterns are all over the place. I usually can’t sleep before 5am and sleep 9 hours a day on average, sometimes I need 13 hours, don’t know why. I hate sleep, I really find it a time wasting thing and I resent that I need more than the average person because of my infections, arthritis and so forth. I am trying to force my body into a sleep pattern, by forcing myself to wake up by 10am regardless of when I slept the night before; I started doing this 3 days ago, and last night I think my body decided OK, I will sleep now and the last time I saw the clock it was 02:10am, so I think it’s working a little.
I am really trying to discipline my body. I am pleased also that whatever is happening to my body, I am able to do around 15 minutes of exercise before getting really tired – it’s a big thing for me, because as I said, I have hardly been able to move for a few years and all of this has happened much quicker than I thought it would. But all in all there is not a massive difference in my pain levels or infections.
I’m just trying to force myself and it is torture, I will tell you. I need to get back to my athletic self again. I used to be very athletic, I was always up and doing things and loved sport and I miss it so much! Honestly, this was NOT a lifestyle choice for me, I genuinely became too ill to move and this is why I resent people who think they know about overweight disabled people, people like Anthea Turner!
I have been the victim of disability discrimination and fat discrimination for the past few years and I have seen the worst of humanity – it is especially prevalent with doctors who should know better!
Let’s pray you assholes who fat shame and hate on disabled people are never put into a situation where you are injured and sick enough not to be able to move and that you get fat too and get karma kicking your asses like you would deserve!
