For the next few days I will be cataloguing all of the books in this house (with maybe the exception of my son’s bedroom as I want to live till the end of the week), to put on Goodreads.com as there has been some debate from some of my reader friends about just how many books I actually own because according to what they see on Goodreads I don’t have much. Well I only used to add those that I bought at the time I have been a member of Goodreads, not all the ones I had before I became a member of the site – so, apparently I have to prove my hoarding addiction to the world – lol.
So that is my challenge for the week and it is back breaking! You’re probably laughing your heads off at what you think is an exaggeration, but for me it is a reality. Being bed bound sick for the last 7yrs has severely weakened my core that even standing up for more than 15 minutes at a time is very painful. I think the diet I have been doing for immune boosting is working, because I am having more days out of bed, in fact I haven’t had a full day in bed since around the 21st of January.
I still need to go back up there regularly, but I am definitely seeing an improvement. I am also taking extra vitamins with it all too. I am not losing any weight, in fact gaining it – which is disturbing for me, because my calories are less. Sugar and fat content is less, food is more nutritionally dense than before and I am slightly more active than I used to be. It is puzzling why, I have the weight gain. I am eating approximately 400 calories a day less than I did before these changes and I am doing more around the house, I am now able to care a little for the rabbit and even make snacks and lunches whereas I hadn’t been able to since 2016. The weight gain is only 5 pounds, but it is freaking me out – somebody suggested my insomnia could be a reason for it, because your metabolism is determined by your sleep patterns, not sure what to think of that!
My sleep patterns are all over the place. I usually can’t sleep before 5am and sleep 9 hours a day on average, sometimes I need 13 hours, don’t know why. I hate sleep, I really find it a time wasting thing and I resent that I need more than the average person because of my infections, arthritis and so forth. I am trying to force my body into a sleep pattern, by forcing myself to wake up by 10am regardless of when I slept the night before; I started doing this 3 days ago, and last night I think my body decided OK, I will sleep now and the last time I saw the clock it was 02:10am, so I think it’s working a little.
I am really trying to discipline my body. I am pleased also that whatever is happening to my body, I am able to do around 15 minutes of exercise before getting really tired – it’s a big thing for me, because as I said, I have hardly been able to move for a few years and all of this has happened much quicker than I thought it would. But all in all there is not a massive difference in my pain levels or infections.
I’m just trying to force myself and it is torture, I will tell you. I need to get back to my athletic self again. I used to be very athletic, I was always up and doing things and loved sport and I miss it so much! Honestly, this was NOT a lifestyle choice for me, I genuinely became too ill to move and this is why I resent people who think they know about overweight disabled people, people like Anthea Turner!
I have been the victim of disability discrimination and fat discrimination for the past few years and I have seen the worst of humanity – it is especially prevalent with doctors who should know better!
Let’s pray you assholes who fat shame and hate on disabled people are never put into a situation where you are injured and sick enough not to be able to move and that you get fat too and get karma kicking your asses like you would deserve!
tardycreative.com 