obscure existance

My mind is erratic

It is crazed by overload

My painful memories

They overflow

I remember some things

From when I was very young

Things that don’t make sense

They never happened, said mum

I remember a big house

I remember a fight

I remember dark men

Coming in the night

I remember quickly

I was ushered out the door

I remember other things

But it makes my heart quite sore

I know it isn’t clear

What I am trying to say

All I know is one thing

I have been led astray

I am searching for them

The memories I used to have

I am searching for them

The people who make me glad

Don’t ask me questions of how I know

Don’t ask me what I mean

I just know something’s

That’s never meant to be seen

I listen out carefully

For the gentle call

I hear you all so quietly

You’re barely there at all

I know you are there

Though only in my mind

If you are real please tell me

That would be very kind

Then I would know I do belong

In a world obscure

And accept you with opened arms I will

That you can be sure

I don’t do well in the world of men

I need my kindred souls

So find my sanity and bring it forth

So I can feel whole

Are you there?

Are you here?

Are you whispers in my mind?

Are you here and are you real?

Or am I stupid as well as blind?

Are you the voices of insanity?

Or are you really there?

Please come forth and tell me

If you really care

I am ready for that moment

Of when you come to me

To tell me I am right

That I am family

A human soul, that’s not me

A burden on society

I will take your hand in mine

And know that from that point on

I’ll shine

Give life to my fantasy